Chapter 38 - 38 - I'm Afraid.

Meanwhile, Wolf's conversation with Fang wasn't as successful. While Wolf and Fang had come to regard Fang as their very own little brother, Fang was very polite and affable, but his heart was still reserved. It was understandable, that after having led such a difficult life, it wasn't easy for Fang to open up to other people.

So the two of them bought souvenirs for the people back home. Fang tried his best to find suitable gifts for everyone. He had earned a good amount of money from the modelling assignment, so he insisted on paying for the gifts himself.

Just as they finished the payment and stepped out of the last shop, Ren skidded to a halt in front of them. He was out of breath and breathing heavily, as if he'd run a long distance.

Ren caught sight of Fang and pulled him close. He cupped the younger boy's cheeks gently and examined him carefully.

"Are you all right?" Ren asked, gasping for breath.

Fang frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Ren embraced Fang without a word and held him tightly. Fang was confused, but let him do as he pleased. He didn't know what had scared Ren, but a part of him was happy that Ren had come looking for him and was depending on him now. Fang hugged him back, feeling a little spark of warmth in his heart that dispelled his earlier gloominess. Perhaps...he could make Ren want to live...?

Ren finally pulled back when Pax arrived at a leisurely pace. He examined Fang carefully again.

"Are you really all right?" he asked Fang again.

"Of course," Fang replied. "We were just shopping."

Ren shook his head. "Not the shoppers; I know Wolf wouldn't let you come to harm under his watch." He caressed Fang's cheek with gentle fingers. "About earlier. About what the old fortune teller said..."

Fang froze, and his face, which had regained some colour, went white as a sheet again.

"Fang...?" Ren asked urgently.

Fang hung his head. "I'm afraid," he whispered.

Ren hugged him again. "So am I," he said softly. "Let's go back to the resort and talk properly, all right?"

Fang nodded.

Pax took over the driving duty this time. When they reached the resort, it was almost time for lunch. Pax sent Ren and Fang back to their water bungalow to freshen up and ordered lunch for them to be served in their rooms. Pax also wanted to talk things over with his twin brother.

Ren and Fang washed up quickly. Lunch arrived soon enough. Praising Pax for his thoughtfulness, the two of them sat down to eat.

As they dug into the meal, Ren said quietly, "Before we start discussing what happened with the old fortune teller, I have to tell you that I love you very much and I want to live a long, happy life with you, Fang. And I promise that unless you yourself want to send me away, I will not leave you."

Fang's eyes brimmed. "Thank you," he said hoarsely. "Me, too. I'll cling to you until you throw me away."

"I'll never throw you away," Ren promised. "I've never been in love before and I've never dated anyone seriously, so I'm afraid I'll make mistakes and I realise that I'm not a very competent boyfriend at the moment...but I swear I'll improve. Please have some patience with me, Fang."

Fang smiled through his tears. "And I promise I'll try my best to be worthy of you...so that you'll never want to leave again."

Ren cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yes... about that...you see, I'm not actually the Ren of this world."

Fang dropped his spoon. "What...?!"

Ren briefly explained about his other life and his transmigration - more or less what he had discussed with Pax earlier today. He hid the fact that this world was simply a book to him in his original world, but he told Fang that he'd died in his original world in a plane crash and woken up here in Ren's body after the original Ren-the-villain had been somehow killed by the Spider Gang. He even confessed to having magic powers and demonstrated by sending a slice of seared fish into Fang's mouth.

"So...you want to return to your original world...?" Fang whispered.

Ren shook his head, then nodded. He scratched his cheek awkwardly. "Well...I kind of want to take you home to meet my parents and friends. Especially my parents...they were always worrying that I wouldn't find a good partner to spend my life with, so I want them to see you and let go of their worries..." He looked at Fang steadily. "If I find a way to bring us both to my world, we'll go. If not, we'll stay here."

Fang looked away. "But...what if there was a way...and only you could go back? Isn't that what the fortune teller said?"

"Then I'll stay here with you," Ren said firmly.

Fang didn't look up. "But...if I wasn't here...if you hadn't saved me...you could go back happily, couldn't you?" he spoke softly, his voice barely above a whisper and almost inaudible.

With an aching heart, Ren leaped out of his seat and rushed to Fang, who was avoiding his eyes. He knelt on the floor before Fang's chair and grabbed his hands.

"Fang...darling...look at me," he begged. His heart broke when Fang had refused to look up at him.

Fang turned his red-rimmed purple eyes towards him. He had never heard Ren plead so desperately for anything, and that was what made him look up.

Ren reached out and caressed the teenager's face, relieved that Fang was at least willing to meet his eyes, and his chest aching at the sight of Fang's tears. "I already died in that world, Fang...even if I tried to go back, chances are that my soul will simply dissipate. I know that it's a childish and selfish desire of mine to bring my beloved to my family and friends...but the truth is, it is highly unlikely." He took a deep breath. "Also, I don't want to go anywhere without you. I'm afraid....I'm afraid I can't live without you anymore."