Chapter 41

episode 41

Translator : Missme  Editor : Aru

Ash called me.

It was a quiet voice. It was low and calm.

And I couldn’t move at this time. Somehow I was stuck. As if I were caught in some kind of spell that constrains me.

Soon I could see what it was that tied me up to do nothing like this.

Ash’s eyes.

Ash was staring at me coolly with his golden eyes that had no emotion at all.

As if he was looking at the others.

Ash reached out his hand. The straight, large, hard hand brushed my cheek just like my mother’s hand did and then wrapped my neck the next moment.

“…….!”

Ash’s hand slowly squeezed in.

The fact that it was a dream made me feel pressure and pain, but at this moment I felt pain elsewhere.

“Why…..”

Ash’s face drew closer. Ash whispered softly in my ear from a breathable distance.

“……Did you lie to me?”

It was a harsh voice.

***

“……Gasp!”

I woke up screaming. I sat up in bed, tingling.

As soon as I did, I reached my throat unknowingly.

Light leaked through the curtains.

The room was not dark, but bright.

I stared blankly around and soon fumbled for the hand mirror. Then I glanced at my neck with it.

Of course, there was no handprint.

“………ha.”

A sigh broke out like a suppressed breath.

I put the mirror down. My hands trembled.

I had a nightmare.

It’s a very vivid nightmare.

‘Why did you lie to me?’

I remembered a voice that had been spreading coldly in my ears. My shoulders crouched at once.

I wanted to say no.

No, it’s not. I tried to answer that I didn’t mean to deceive you.

But I couldn’t speak because I was strangled. I wanted to speak out, but I couldn’t do that and just mumbled in pain.

Then, at one point, my consciousness became distant, as if submerged underwater, and I woke up from a dream like that.

I sat at the edge of the bed like that, sitting motionless as if I had been rooted on the bed.

Soon I covered my face.

‘What is this?’

It was unbelievable.

‘What kind of dream is this……’

The dream was so vivid, wondering if it should have been. My parents were my parents, but Ash’s dream after that was so real that it was creepy.

A low-pitched voice, a feeling of strangling.

Even the way he looked at me in a cold gaze without warmth.

It was all true. I still felt like it was all stuck to me.

I rubbed my cheeks and ears in a huddle and then pulled the string near the bedpost.

“Did you cough? I’ll bring some water to wash in.”

It was not Angela who came into the room, but a maid with a face I had never seen before. It’s not an important fact. I added before she went out for a wash.

“Coldwater, please.”

I added it out of fear that it might not be enough.

“In awfully cold water.”

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After a while, she appeared with icy cold water, as I asked the maid too.

I dipped my hand in the basin and then fell silent for a moment.

I asked for it, but…

The cold temperature made my skin ache. Instinctively hesitated and soon closed my eyes.

I started washing my face with the water.

“Uh.”

Whenever I poured water on my face, I felt like I was suffering from reflexes.

However, I repeatedly wash my face with the harsh cold water. Then I thought.

‘It’s a dream.’

This is just a dream.

‘No matter how vivid it was, it’s just a dream. Forget it! Don’t think about it!’

Finally, I dipped my face in the basin as if giving a shock therapy – and it seemed like I heard a small scream of a maid waiting on one side of the room – and quickly recovered it.

“Puha.”

Oh, this was crazy.

Anyway, thanks to it, I felt like it was working. Even though I was shivering at the first wash.

I got out of the back bed with a soft towel. I don’t know how hard labour is this morning.

I then took off my bed and changed into an indoor dress with the help of the maid.

There was no purpose, but I wanted to get out of the room. When I came out into the hallway like that, I saw Bessie, who seemed to have just come out like me.

“Lady! Did you sleep well?”

“Uh-huh.”

I answered equivocally.

I couldn’t cheer up and say, “No, I couldn’t sleep. I had a terrible nightmare. It was a terrible time nightmare. It’s amazing. Do you want to listen to it?” I couldn’t have said that.

“Hold on, there’s a dark spot under your eyes.”

“What? No.”

“I’m just saying the truth. The bed has suddenly changed, so I was wondering just in case. I’m glad you said no.”

Sharp Bessie……… I’m starting to get a twinge inside, and then Sir Davery comes out from his room.

“Good morning. Oh? Miss, you look like you’re not sleeping.”

“You are late. Bessie already said it.”

“Oh.”

As if it were a pity – no, why – Sir Davery, kicked his tongue, Alex also showed up – and, by the way, Alex went to the territory together as a porter.

Soon the party moved together to the dining room. To be honest, I had no appetite, but when I said I would skip breakfast, it seemed like I was advertising that my night was bad, so I followed them silently.

“It hasn’t changed much here in a long time.”

Bessie said on the way. Sir Davery answered.

“Well, yes.”

“Come to think of it, how long Sir Sack hasn’t come to the territory?”

“I have recently returned.”

“What did you do then?”

“It wasn’t a big deal. I heard the bandits in the neighbourhood were coming in near the perimeter, so just to clean up a little….”

“Oh, bandits?”

“Somehow, it was. You could have caught them too, Bessie. If Mace loses.”

“Thank you for looking at me so highly.”

We walked around chatting. Without saying a word, I stared at the scenery outside the window. It was then.

“Your Excellency.”

I stopped walking for a moment.

“Did you have a good sleep at night?”

My heart throbbed. The voice heard from that front belonged to Lucas, but not to anyone who owned the voice.

I was walking by the window, so I didn’t look at him yet.

I stood in my seat with a nail in my head. My heart fluttered.

Eventually, I turned on impulse.

“Lady?”

“Where are you going?”

“That’s……a walk. That’s right! I’ll be back after a morning walk!”

I hurriedly left my seat with a sudden and diligent excuse. At the back, Bessie and Sir Davery embarrassedly called me, but I ignored and hastened my steps.

I went down the stairs recklessly out of the hall. Fortunately, there was no unseemly loss of way out of the mansion.

As I came outside, I could see a well-built garden on one side of the large site.

I walked straight there. I’ve been acting like I’m taking a walk.

Entering the entrance, I walked more into the garden and sat down on the bench as if I had been waiting.

As soon as I sat down, I was out of breath.

‘What am I doing?’

I was conscious of what I just did. This was a run. An undeniable escape

I couldn’t dare to see Ash’s face.

Is it because of the nightmare? I wasn’t confident to see him as usual.

‘Ah……’

I lowered my head and covered my face. I can’t believe my ice wash, that harsh method didn’t work this much.

‘This is all because of Lucas.’

I suddenly cursed Lucas who was not here.

‘Why did he have to call me there yesterday? Why? Otherwise, I wouldn’t have seen that portrait there…’

Then I wouldn’t have dreamed of this.

‘If you were bored, you should be drinking alone and talking to yourself looking at the wall. Fucking Lucas. Damn Lucas. Ugly Lucas and I don’t know why he grows that ugly moustache.”

At this point, I even snorted at Lucas, but soon felt guilty, so I stopped.

Yeah, what’s the point? Doing this here.

Relaxed from the shoulder. I leaned my body against the bench.

Actually, I didn’t know this would happen.

This is not to say that I didn’t know I would have this dream. I knew my death.

Although I only saw it fragmentarily and superficially through the book, it would be nice to say that I know my destiny in advance.

So it wasn’t a nightmare that I couldn’t have. Perhaps it is a natural flow that can be explained. To have a dream like this at this point. In other words, it was a dream that could be expected.

But, uh…

I touched my chest. An unstable echo passed through the palms of the hand.

I didn’t know this would happen. I didn’t know it was this much.

Much more than I imagined, much more than I’d assumed.

It hurt a lot more.

When I was strangled in a dream, I couldn’t wake up to the pain even though I was thinking it was a dream.

It’s not my neck. It hurts here.

My heart sank as I faced the dull, cool golden eyes. Then pain poured in.

The inside of my heart seemed to crack and collapse, leaving no shape and slowly breaking. The pain was so great that it was unbearable. Even in the choking, chilling sensation, my nerves were all focused on it.

“…….”

Recalling the pain, the hand around my chest gave me strength. The drab top of the dress, which had no ornament, was wrinkled.

Soon I let out a gasp of laughter.

I had a guess. To some extent.

However, how much did it end up to?

I was scared.

After my previous life, I died without even half of my life.

And more than that, dying at the hands of Ash.