Usually, Zombie's father, Pear, would open his magic stone's shop bright and early as if it was an inn or a tavern serving breakfast for the workers – but he didn't do that on this day.
Instead, he was sitting in his dining room with his wife, Nectarine, standing by his left side while both of them were looking with grave expressions at their three-year-old son.
"Kiwi. I'll have you know that your sister broke three ribs and twisted her ankle, not to mention the light concussion and some really ugly bruises."
Pear spoke in a cold voice, carefully observing his son, waiting for the remorseful act of any sort...
"Oooh! A new record, isn't it? But do you think that it hurt her more or less than when I broke her arm?"
But instead, the child's face lighted up and he asked while his eyes shone with excitement.
"...!"
Nectarine by Pear's side flinched and clenched her fists.
"It's alright, Nectar."
The man grabbed her hand and spoke calmly.
"What's alright?! This child almost killed his own sister! Again!"
The woman trembled with fury and looked at her husband as if he went mad since he didn't seem angry at all.
"She deserves it."
Zombie shrugged his shoulders and looked away, visibly bored with the whole situation.
"HOW DARE YOU! SHE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO YOU!"
"Nectar, stop!"
Nectarine blew up, and tried to lean across the table and slap him, but got stopped by her husband.
"Nectar, you are going to wake Caramel up... why don't you go check up on her? She will probably be scared if she wakes up alone."
Pear patted her back while pulling her away from the table and Zombie.
"...you're right..."
Nectar glared at Zombie one last time before sighing and nodding in agreement.
"It's alright, I'll talk with him. Go."
Pear gently pushed her towards the door and she ended up walking out with a cloudy expression.
"..."
Once she was gone, Pear returned to his chair and focused on the young boy.
"Kiwi. Tell me what's going on? Why is such a good child acting like that?"
He asked with a worried expression, which honestly was exactly what Zombie had expected...
"You are so gifted, you have learned to speak while you were three months old, you took your first step while you were four months old, and you learned to read even before your first birthday! It's clear that the system has something amazing in store for you!"
Pear listed all of his son's achievements – at least the ones that he was aware of.
"It's my fault... I'm too preoccupied with my shop and didn't pay you enough attention... Is that where your anger is coming from? Do you think that my mother and I love Caramel more than we love you? I assure you that we love you both just as much!"
The man began a heartfelt speech that would have definitely pull on the strings of a love-starved child...
..unlucky for him, Zombie wasn't someone like that at all...
"You are overthinking it. Also, if you want to use something more relatable next time, the third parenting guide you've bought, the one written by Lychee Lust feels the most genuine, Plum Greed tries too hard to sound grand and ends up sounding really condescending in some parts. But I applaud your efforts."
Zombie leaned back on his chair and shrugged his shoulders with an indifferent expression.
"...you already read all three...?"
Pear straightened his back and asked in shock.
"Yeah."
Zombie simply nodded and sighed.
"Listen... you are not a bad person and definitely not a bad parent. You are trying your best, and it's really admirable. But your biggest problem is that you ended up with me as your child."
Zombie's expression turn cold and he leaned forward, staring right into the confused eyes of his father.
"Someone like you won't be able to change me. The reason I hate that filth doesn't have anything to do with anyone else, nor you nor the other living."
The boy declared, and hearing something like that from the mouth of a three-year-old child was a truly bizarre experience...
"B-but if you could tell me that reason then maybe I..."
"Pear. There are some things and people that are better left alone – I am someone like that."
Zombie interrupted his father's attempt at conversation and simply declared.
"I only want to make that filth's life as miserable as possible. Don't try to pry into my business too hard, or I might decide that she will suffer the most if she suddenly becomes an orphan."
"!!!"
Zombie climbed down his chair and left the stunned Pear with a ridiculous threat that rightfully caused the warning lights to light up in his father's brain.
"I'm going to play around in the village, I'll be back before dusk."
The boy declared leaving the dining room without asking for permission and leaving the house – leaving the crestfallen man hiding his face in his hands alone by the table.
|...I just want to remind you that even though according to my knowledge Pear does have a friend in the Envy's territory who's an ex-adventurer that sometimes picks up difficult children from the desperate parents and makes them into upstanding citizens – it doesn't mean that you absolutely need to be that extreme to force your father's hand...|
Patience pointed out.
|Did I come out that bad?|
Zombie asked with genuine confusion.
|You literally threatened to kill both of your parents in their sleep – even you have to realize how wrong that is.|
|...really? But I just repeated one of the examples of behavior that was listed in one of those parental guides that he has bought – the one for the hopeless cases.|
|…|
|Aww... Patience... Are you finally admitting to having daddy issues? You can't help but feel jealous when someone's father is trying so hard to reunite with their kid while your own ditched you?|
|I get it. Just stop bringing my creator into this.|
Patience cut off their exchange sounding ticked off.
|...I went too far, sorry...|
Zombie apologized in his head.
|It's fine. Just don't do that again. Let's get to the chickens first – if we're lucky as with your first hidden affinity, we might unlock beast master and even get a leadership skill to boot.|
Patience sounded as if they shrugged their shoulders and hurried Zombie.
Zombie smirked to himself as he walked towards Melon's house.
"Ah! Little Kiwi! You need to see this! All my hens look like they are waiting for you! It's so adorable, you have to see it!"
Melon, an older man kindhearted man with a captain's beard, laughed and beckoned him from afar.