N/A: You know what I like about this period? Author and translators released their chapters in bulks. What a good thing. What? Me? Sorry, sorry, I'm an irresponsible author who is a reader first. For me, it's still 8 pm, but happy new year in advance.
P.S: People seemed more concerned with Ru Shan Yong's side of the story so, in the end, I decided to finish his extra first before the children's. The second part will be upload tomorrow. For now, I'm going back to read some more.
P.P.S: Sorry, this is unedited. Yeah, really lazy of me I'll take care of it tomorrow.
***
**
*
"Amazing."
Indeed, he thought at the time, Li Ming Qi's abilities were a sight to behold. She was a person like no other. He never saw medicine as fast working as hers.
"Beautiful."
Ah, her face, now that she took off the fake skin covering it, was bewitching. At that time, Ru Shan Yong failed to recognize the meaning behind his fast beating heart, the thundering sounds it was making for the first time. He thought, quite falsify, that it was just the surprise of seeing her, the real her for the first time.
"She's going to be the only woman in my life."
Those words, spoken by his dear friend, rang again even today in Ru Shan Yong's mind. The first time he heard them, they were followed by a hollow sound, something inside of him burning off, dying. Yet he still didn't understand.
He had to see them kissing, for it to finally register.
The moment Ru Shan Yong understood he actually loved a woman, was the very moment his heart had been broken.
Growing up inside a military family, he was the middle child in a house of three children. As their father was rarely home, the two young masters had been educated by the old general Ru, who was still alive at the time and very much a strict person. Little to no liberty was given to them. It was some years later, during the attempt rebellion of the emperor's brother in which their father died and his brother lost a leg, that Ru Shan Yong's path in life was forged for him. He was to assure that the Ru family didn't decline and if before there could be a doubt, now that his elder brother couldn't fight and his grandfather was too old, he was the most qualified one to hold the name Ru to height, in term of military prowess if nothing else.
As such, for the child who was eight at the time, his grandfather sent him to the barrack to spend the rest of his childhood there, to interact with other men, learn from them, adapt to situations and come back wiser while his eighteen-year-old brother at the time was nursed to health at home.
There, Ru Shan Yong befriended the second prince who also regularly went in the barracks. Between the two boys who were the closest of age, a solid friendship was build based on rivalry and the sharing of the same interest. That they were the youngest didn't mean they were the weakest at all.
Beside the second prince, Ru Shan Yong didn't have many friends between nobility, though he knew many, they couldn't be called friends. Friends, those with whom he could actually be seen laughing with –not something like the stretch of lips but boisterous laughers that shook his whole being-, could be counted on the fingers of the hands. Maybe that was because the young man was way too used to mingling with his men, and more reluctant to sit and talk of poetries. His men were rough, almost sweating every time someone laid eyes on them and didn't talk but shout; despite that, they were particularly fun to be with. Ru Shan Yong couldn't say the same thing about other people.
So, the fact that he was excluded intentionally or maybe unintentionally –his demeanour sometimes making him hard to approach even as a child- by some people never bothered him. Young, he never wanted anything though never lacked for anything. As an adult, that disposition of him persisted, if only to increase some more. It never occurred to him that the only thing he would finally want would turn into the only he could never obtain.
The first time Ru Shan Yong met Li Ming Qi had been on the market street, in the middle of a commotion. A commotion that she, disguised as a man, unintentionally caused. She was trying to sell syrups but the unconventional colour had the merchant treated her as a fraud. It was him who bought them in the end. From there on, he met her many more time and it didn't take long before he figured out that instead of a he the person he was talking with was a she. However, perhaps because too habituated to see her in male garment he didn't consider her a female all that much thus; talking with her had been easier than with any other woman he had ever met. Though, the same result could still be achieved when she was in women wears. Li Ming Qi was one who didn't really perform with the views, had no qualm in giving her opinions, treated everyone with respect -even servants-, he didn't have to force himself to pay attention to what she was saying out of courtesy for what she usually talked about was never boring.
Ru Shan Yong found himself comfortable by her sides. They became comfortable enough, actually, to call each other intimately. As she called him Yong'er he started calling her Qi'er. For three full years, beside Hen Ru Ying, he had another one to call with a short name.
Though, those three years now, he truthfully regretted never understanding his own emotions. If he did... would he be the one... he stopped his reflexions here.
What nonsense was he saying when his friends looked so happy together.
Talking about marriage, Ru Shan Yong and his brother didn't really have that much interest in it. Though they used to rarely see their father in their early years, the man made it of great importance to partake his views of some subjects and one he was forever warning his children about were women. Though eight when they last talked, didn't mean Ru Shan Yong was clueless –actually, he had to wait some years later for his brother to clear some shady parts but that wasn't the point-. For the passed general, he wanted his children to not be lustful. It could lead to death he liked to say. Women spies were dangerous even more so in times of conflicts. The man, supposedly, was talking from experience. A rather bloody story about his own father's concubines and the main reason why he himself only had one wife and no concubine. He used to say that he rather his children be lustful in their early years, than for it to hit them in the second part of their life. They could have servants-concubines but upon marriage only one wife.
Hearing so many negatives things on that subject since young could kill people's interest or rather aroused some. Ru Shan Yong was of the former and in the end, despite his gentle mother's and kind grandmother's words, wasn't looking forward to marriage. He believed that his own wedding would be done after he had achieved his service, made a name for himself, only then would he marry. It would be something born out of duty and the sole desire to be filial to his parents, to have children to continue the name of his ancestors.
Such a boring and cold view of people's union had been modified by Li Ming Qi. In the young woman's view, marriage was something truthfully beautiful. The union of two people who swore to heaven and earth of their love for one another. The most sincere act two people could perform and the crystallization of their feelings. Such a thing, the more she talked about it, the less it seemed to match with the married people that could be seen all around. However, such a dreamy thing and obviously chimeric one sounded really beautiful and made his resolve vacillated. And somehow, he started looking forward to a married life. He just didn't know with whom yet...
Now, that he finally knew she was going to be another's wife for a lifetime.
***
"Brother" whispered his sister, Ru Ying Yue, that night trying to get his attention, him who was being strange for a time now.
Ru Ying Yue was sixteen and liked coming in her second brother's yard. Though seven years apart, they get along quite well and usually played Go together; when he was in the mood, he would even spar with her but recently every time she came, he would be reading in his study, closing himself behind heavy and tightly shut doors or would just sit there tending to his swords, his mind faraway where she couldn't reach. She wondered what exactly it was that he was doing in there and no matter what she said or how much she pleaded; he wouldn't come out to see her.
And when he was physically here, his mind wasn't. It was rather unpleasant and recently even somewhat worrying. Ru Ying Yue was only one year old when their father died and didn't really know the man. Her first brother, Ru Yun Ji, was more like a father figure to her while her second brother was the one she was more relaxed with. Usually. Yet, recently, his thoughts became a mystery to her.
Anxious, Ru Ying Yue went to their eldest brother to talk about it.
Seeing his brother who rarely visit personally come to his yard, Ru Shan Yong was somewhat helpless. Why were people so bent on meddling in his affairs?
Since fifteen years ago, Ru Yun Ji rarely came to this side of Ru residence. It wasn't that he was unwilling to visit his younger brother –though there had been that for a time- rather, it was that, too considerate for his elder's lost leg, Ru Shan Yong rarely left him the chance and was instead the one who will always pay a visit whenever given the opportunity.
For this prominent elder brother who once far exceeded him in everything and mostly martial arts, to see him now having to rely on the help of crutches to walk, Ru Shan Yong was most reluctant to let him exert too much efforts. How much of a heavy blow it had been at the time for Yun Ji to lose his leg, as someone who had been there, Ru Shan Yong knew all about it. Yun Ji went from a highly envied individual to a pitiable and pitied one. More than anything, that brother had hated being pitied. Though his angry retorts and shouting temper at the time didn't really help. Yun Ji had been ten years older but still had to see his brother catch up to his level and in the end exceeded him while he, this useless brother, had his career extinguished. For a time, he had been bitter at the world and unfair to his younger brother. In had taken years for him to accept his situation and adapt, instead of a man of action becoming an adviser. Though the brothers mended their relationship with time and efforts, it still had yet to catch up to their early years.
So, even if they talked, Ru Shan Yong didn't truthfully confide what weight was on his heart. And what would he be confiding in anyway? To having untold feelings for his prince's fiancée? Was he looking for ways to shame the Ru family?
Ru Yun Ji looked at him and sighed, having being unable to achieve what he came for.
As Ru Shan Yong looked at his brother's departing back, he thought, maybe, he should spend some time outside, far from here. He didn't want to see his family worrying over him and maybe needed to think about other things too. Wasn't there a talk about sending people to reinforce the northern borders? Maybe he should propose himself. More so that he had some few ideas about it. He could implement them himself.
Concerning Li Ming Qi... It was really... his loss.
***
The day of the wedding, the sky had been clear, the sun high and shone bright. The night had been even more beautiful, full of stars with no heavy clouds to be seen. The drums were particularly loud; the laughing heard even by the heavens and the festive couldn't be more animated. Yet, for him, it was more like a funeral service than a wedding. They were actually burying his soul and he hoped, along with it his hurt too.
The night of his good friend's wedding was the first one in a while that Ru Shan Yong drank himself to oblivion.
The hollow in his heart, the sinking feeling tormenting him, indeed, he wished at the time that he was the one by her side. As he saw his friends taking every step to be a pair for life, unable to do anything about it, Ru Shan Yong didn't really know if he could be happy for them. A part of him wished that Hen Ru Ying did something to annoy her, to let her down so she could come to him instead. Then, regardless of everything else, he would shield her even against the world if needed be. He had been the first one to see her, to talk to her, why couldn't he be the one to share the rest of her life? Why couldn't they? He too, was ready to have no other than her.
Another part of him was ashamed of that. So after a short appearance he disappeared into the dark of the forest. He couldn't be seen that night, shouldn't be. After all, he wasn't drinking because it was a joyous event, rather he needed to be drunk to be happy. Couldn't assist any other way, couldn't lie in any other form.
He couldn't help but lament about the first time he really wished for something only for it to be unattainable.
He should drink. Drink, drink, and drink. After that, completely drunk, he would lament. Then maybe, regaining his senses the next day, he would finally feel better. For such a thing, he needed no one by his side, wished for no one to see him like that. That was mostly the reason why he chased away his subordinates and to occupy them, ordered them to keep his friends safe.
Hen Ru Ying could protect himself but then again another layer of protection could do him no bad and though Li Ming Qi was an independent person who could extract herself from difficult situations, not letting her face those difficult situations in the first place wasn't anything wrong. And one of the recurrent people he needed to protect her from was Hen Ru Ying's maternal cousin, Mu Rong An.
He wondered why that woman even came today. Didn't she want her face anymore? To have her engagement broken should be nothing pleasant even if said engagement was not an official one. Who in the capital didn't know about it?
Would he pity that person? No, certainly not. He wouldn't think twice about it or spare an ounce of sympathy. Ru general felt that Mu Rong An deserved what happened to her. She was a prideful person, full of herself, unsympathetic and the kind of person who would take revenge even for the slightest grief. An ever more hateable trait of hers was that she was always targeting Li Ming Qi with her veiled words. That person was, for him, completely unpleasant. The kind of enemy he didn't like at all –though she wasn't his enemy.
For the general he was, he better liked the enemies he faced on the battlefield: those people in front of him with a sword ready to thrust it in his heart. At the very least, there, there was no masking your determination to strike, no smiling to better kill you. However, while in the capital, it was full of deceptive smiling faces to better sharpen their knives. And Mu Rong An was an excellent example of that.
Even if she wasn't, could she compare to Li Ming Qi? Was there even a need to compare them? No wonder Hen Ru Ying choose Li Ming Qi. Or maybe it was all his pent-up frustration and anger from her always messing with Li Ming Qi talking and the alcohol wasn't exactly helping him to keep a straight line of thoughts but Ru Shan Yong felt that Mu Rong An was nowhere near his friend's level. And anyway, holding onto that engagement for so long, why would she even do that? The prince never voiced his acceptance, why would she busy herself with thoughts of a wedding? Wasn't she just being delusional?
Keeping his friends safe from that delusional person didn't seem a bad idea, more so that this night her craziness must have reached another height.
Who would have thought that this time, the mad person would target him instead?
Doused with drugs, he lost consciousness to awoken sometime later, firmly tied to pikes and unable to talk, much less move. Ru Shan Yong could only stretch his vision to see the perpetrator. That woman, Mu Rong An, was calmly reading a book, not even looking at him. His mind not clear yet, he did his best to stay awake, keeping a sound reasoning and sensible train of thoughts, thinking as hard as he could about the best way to get out of this predicament. Muddled with all the alcohol he drank, it was nothing easy to do.
Him, Ru Shan Yong, general Ru, descendant of a military lineage had been drugged, roped and was now at the mercy of a woman of a boudoir. That kind of shame, would he one day be able to erase it? And his persecutor was all calm, a light smile on her face as she kept on reading. From where he was, he couldn't see that book clearly, but, she said she was 'learning'. Learning what exactly, somehow, he didn't want to know the answer at this very moment.
However, his wishes weren't ones she was taking into consideration, and whether he liked it or not, the realisation of what she was after couldn't be any clearer when she disrobed him and started sponged bathing him. All the while, she was spouting nonsense he had troubles understanding -and he was sure it had nothing to do with his inebriated state, he was just confusing like that! -.
She started disrobing herself and even though she humiliated him enough to not let him a shred of cloth left, she still kept her inner wear. No muscle in his body was responding to his brain's orders, he could only assist, impuissant, as she drank half of a cup of wine and then leaned down on him after taking the other half in her mouth. No matter how much he willed it, he couldn't not swallow the wine she forced down his throat by her lips and shortly after, his whole body started burning up, letting him know of the special ingredient she added to that wine.
The witch ate leopard's guts! Since when, was it women taking advantage to men? Glaring at her as she played at will with his body, all kind of torturous ideas went through his mind. He felt hotter, all inhibitions left and when she took him in her hand, the guttural groan that resounded was most certainly not his doing! It couldn't be! As he was losing control over his own body, he got even more fierce in his thinking: beheading her, giving her bones to the dog with nothing left to burry thus letting her soul never rest in peace. It sounded good enough!
Shivers ran down his body, tremors pulsating him making holding back his voice impossible. All his thinking became a jumble mess as all he could see now was her, her and her. He was hot so hot and he was all the clearer what his body wanted, needed. When she seated herself on him and started joining them as one, Ru Shan Yong closed his eyes and forgot to breath. A part of him wished he could forget all the senseless events of the night and let them be part of a nightmare, he wished extract himself from this ridiculous situation. Another part was willing the present way too much and wished for the release. It was somewhat painful and uncomfortable. Half of him was still out and she looked in pain. The stubborn woman never knew when to give up and as a flash of determination reflected in her eyes, he knew there was no turning back even as she was on the verge of tears. In one forceful move she sheathed herself completely on him and his thinking ability disappeared as he made a strange sound between a gasp and a groan. Glaring daggers at her, he both wished she got off him yet et the same time that she started moving already.
That feverish sensation in his whole being, those low grunts and accelerated pants, those tremors and shots of pleasure coursing through his body. It wasn't him. That was the aphrodisiac talking. Just the aphrodisiac. Never him. The kiss that followed, the tongues that waged war, it wasn't him. He felt nothing. His body, controlled by her, seeked its own release. His mind most certainly didn't! For having controlled him like this, she needed to pay and how he would make her pay for it!
Through the process, she even had the gall to ask how she should be called! A double time she would pay!
It was hard to keep thinking like this as his grunts turned into moans. He needed anything to keep his mind off of what was happening. He couldn't turn his head, could only look at her. His eyes turned to her dancing chest that she covered almost immediately with one hand.
"Don't stare," she said, while she, she had disrobed him completely yet now dared be unsatisfied from him looking at what little she showed!
In the end, despite his struggling mind, his body found release.
That woman was just too hateful!
Cleaning him with a towel, she nonchalantly draped a cover on him and went to eat. If only it would stop to that. She found joy in forcing her to eat and drink with her mouth.
This person was completely crazy! Energized she took them to a second round again and even dared used his body as pillow after that. Really, she wasn't afraid of dying! And she slept so soundly too!
When some time later in the night his sensation came back, he only felt his muscle sore and still numb, unsure if it was the work of the drug or the tired state of the flesh.
How could she be crazy like this? Wasn't she infatuated with the second prince? Why would she even target him? Just because he contradicted her some few times and pushed her in the pond? How could she be so petty? Wasn't she trying to push Li Ming Qi in there too?
Through the whole night, general Ru couldn't find sleep.
The next day after she left he still had to wait for the drugs to completely wear down before re-joining the wedding party and leaving for the capital once again.
The whole day, he kept on nursing ideas to pay her back, to let her know what fear is. By night-time, his bloodthirsty imagination finally calmed down and he was more rational, less passionate in wanting to hurt her back. Yet he still wasn't satisfied with how he should hurt her back.
What exactly should he do to that haughty and lawless woman?
He thought to kill her. For the longest time, that was what he had in mind. When she was moving over him, he had been angry enough to imagine torturing her, later, he settled for a swift death and never let her body be found. Then again, although she certainly deserved to die with no one to cry for her, this solution didn't satisfy him at all.
For a punch given, one couldn't fight with a sword. It's way too cowardly and undignified. She tried to hurt his self-esteem, didn't she? Mustn't he then return it that way?
A satisfaction response to that humiliation. Wasn't it that? Wasn't it what she was after? Wasn't it what she was repeating? He too should choose a solution that thoroughly satisfies him. So prideful was she, he should crush that haughty nature of hers.
She used him to vent and that he couldn't forgive.
He took some days to think about the correct way to go about it. It wasn't something he could consult others about in any form.
Hearing that her twenty-three years old child -and still childless- was going to the far away northern borders, his mother tried to detain him some more and even tried talking about his marriage. Usually, he would just brush it aside but this time, instead, he actually asked her to help him prepare.
And what a shock, he was interested in the prime minister's daughter!
In this lifetime, he didn't care who he married anymore.
***
Even though he was talking about marriage, the mood of the general wasn't quite correct these days. No one knew what was wrong. Neither his family nor his subordinates. The latter's' wished it would pass though for their daily routines became harsher for no reason they could name. His family couldn't wrest out him the reasoning behind his actions and in the end, the whole house just started to prepare for the supposedly joyous event. The other concerned family had approved and a date had been set.
Waiting for that day to come, in the meantime he spied that miss's actions. He wondered at this moment, time flying fast and approaching their tied lifetime's together, was she scared? She should be. She should apprehend right, what he had in mind. Uncomfortable and restless?
If she really was, she was quite good at hiding it from everyone. Instead of wallowing in fear or his retaliation, in the short month time before their wedding, she had stored quite the amount of poison. So vicious? She was already planning to kill him? Very well, he wouldn't be going easy on her.
Such a delicate skin she had. He ordered his servants to find the most rugged cloth they could find. Wearing it, how itchy would she get?
The wedding day passed without any hindering. How was her mind the whole day? Jittery? Scared? It was a shame he couldn't see her face under that red veil to ascertain it by himself.
By night time, when he could delay meeting her face to face no longer, he leisurely strode to where she was. So calm even now? Even having the mind to order light dishes to be brought! At the very least one would recognize her that she was indeed fearless or maybe completely stupid! Not in mind to share small talks, he directly took all the bottle of poisons and let her alone for three days. He had other things to do beside taking care of her. He had to select those with whom he would be departing, arranged for the safety of the additional weapons he was bringing and check once more the arrangements made.
He found out that she wasn't the least disturbed by living here like she owed the place, and seemed nonchalant about his whereabout; until when visiting her family for the return day, he mentioned her following him to the borders. She lost her cool and seemed to pale drastically. Her perfect smile slipping off. More than fear, he read dread in her eyes and could see her clenched hands shaking, her lips trembling.
So scared to leave the capital? She had such little courage yet daring enough to look for troubles. Really one who knows nothing of suffering!
Unconcerned and unsympathetic, he informed her that none of her servants would be following. It was already his grace that he didn't kill those four for what they had done.
The departing day, as she was forced to leave the carriage to settle on a horse, he discovered that she really didn't know how to ride a horse! Turning deaf to her protests, with a wave of his hands he had his men help secured her on it and tied her horse to his. Trembling despite the assurance she wanted to portray, she was as trying to keep as straight as a rod, unwilling to glance at the floor. Such a little distance was already scaring her?
Time and again she asked for a rest and time and again he allowed if only to see that smile of her stiffen as he said the words 'let's resume'. In those moments, unwillingness would flash in her eyes and she would look at him from the corner of her eyes, seemingly debating if she should plead with him some more. He wondered when would she break down?
She persisted and even though tried negotiating to return inside the carriage all day long, she didn't shed a single tear nor threw any real tantrums or shamelessly pleaded to go back.
When the food only consisted of dried meats, soup crudely made and repetitive rice and bread, she started retching just at the sight of it. How delicate had her eating habits always been? She was getting thinner before he even started what he really had in mind for her. He could only force her to eat it even if she would really vomit later. As retaliation he supposed, she would make it pass with his pieces of sugar cane. So long as she ate something he didn't really care, he could order more pieces to be brought to him.
The clothes were indeed harsh on her skin. He could see the red traces it marked on her though she went by the day, and didn't seem to care. Only, her eyes shone brightly every time he allowed her to take a bath.
She sweated so easily. Red from exhaustion despite doing nothing, she was still stubborn enough to carry that enigmatic smile as though she was taking a cup of tea. He wondered, how long she would keep up with the pretense? Though he could see her act cracked by the day as her smile was less and less bright.
Upon arriving, he saw her kissed the palm of her hands as he briefly glared at her horse. He raised a brow at that.
Not caring much more about her, he left with his men, letting her to see for herself the state of the place she was going to leave in. He had ordered for it to not be cleaned at all. He wondered what sort of mess she would be finding there for it had been year since no one set foot here.
His idea for her was a life without luxury, far from her family, her friends. Her everything. No one she could reach to, no one she could talk to, no one she could laugh with. No one to serve her and no one to help. A haughty person who couldn't be haughty anymore. He didn't want her life but to break her pride.
He felt like he wanted to see what she could do with her little two hands. Would she starve? Would she instead when she understood that no one would help take the initiative to clean? What exactly was this haughty person feeling as she was doing servant's work?
He thought she would cry. Unashamedly, he was after her tears. It would be a good starter. Maybe if she cried, his anger when seeing her face would diminish.
After all, she was brought up with a silver spoon in her mouth since a toddler and now she had to fend for herself. What she wore, had to cook, had to bath alone, to clean her room... those things with her personality would she so easily bend down and do them?
She didn't break down though and fiercely held onto that pride of hers instead. After cooking -miserably- for three days, she did nothing for the fourth and by the fifth, she was vomiting and couldn't get up from the bed. Hearing the old woman reported this with a hint of worry on her face, Ru Shan Yong allowed food to be brought to her every five days but prohibit any other form of help. So far as she didn't die from undernourishment she could choose to not wash her clothes for all he cared.
Ru Shan Yong liked to think he wasn't a petty person and could be quite forgiving depending on the situation, but there was no way he would let what she did to him pass.
Seeing her food's situation getting better, she actually didn't beg to see him and compromise with other things but instead tried to manage the rest by herself as though she wasn't the fourth miss of the prime minister's manor but instead some kind of servant. Did she really felt nothing doing all that? She could really be quite a stubborn one. She would rather cut herself with knives, turn her hands rough from washing cloth or cleaning than beg him. That pride, he wondered what exactly he should do to destroy it. At which point could he humiliate her?
She got heatstroke some days later and fainted. She was working on an empty stomach under the blazing sun. With that easily burned skin of hers was she actually after death? For once, upon waking up, she didn't even try to smile and completely drop the pretense. Instead, she immediately closed her eyes and pretended she couldn't see or hear him. Pacing a little in the room and feeling unsatisfied despite clearly having been able to make her unable to smile, he finally sat down and ordered a small table to be brought.
Having come here in precipitation, he still wore his armor, which he quickly took off and wore something more comfortable. Sitting in the room, polishing his sword, it let him think a bit. Sometime later, the person who really went to sleep after closing her eyes finally opened them again.
Her smile, as she woke up to see him cracked before reforming itself with a new glint of brilliancy, unwilling to be undone. If the sight of her wasn't particularly annoying then, he would have found it a bit funny.
Though once she started speaking, he understood once again that Mu Rong An, this person, was positively sick in the head. When she would let her smile drop and the fakeness disappeared, the words coming from her mouth were ones who would make others boil with fury. Killing his women if he chose to have others? Not sparing the children if they had the misfortune to be borne? Where was the dignified daughter of the prime minister? That one hailed from all sides of the country for her purity and her virtuousness? Just, where was she? Which eyes exactly saw compliments like that on this poisonous woman?
Indeed, she was a twisted deranged person. And he made such a person his.
He wondered then, where exactly was it him exacting revenge on her? How could it be considered them even? What exactly was he supposed to do to satisfy his own anger, that, for a reason or another was diminishing? Was he going soft because she was a woman? Because she fainted and her whole body seemed red and hurting? Was it because that stubbornness was shining in her eyes even now, even in that current state of hers? She was resolute in her vain and prideful although wrong ways. The stubborn woman obviously shouldn't be pitied, for she asked all of it to befell on her.
He hadn't in mind to pursue women anyway and hearing his answer, she actually chuckled. Fearless, she even hummed as she sat in front of him by the table staring at his hands working on his sword. For once, she let her perfect manners slip and put her elbows on the table. Seemingly the words she just said now, seem to be nothing big at all. And he was certain, in her heart she had said even more terrifying things and for once, she wasn't covering them on faking sweetness.
Apparently, she was ready to drop the pretense. Should it be considered his victory?