Chapter 81

My mouth was burning hot. When I heard about it, I sent another carriage the other way, but still, I didn’t feel comfortable. So I told the coachman who was whipping the horse to continue to speed up.

How fast did the carriage run? We arrived at the place where Madam Perza’s accident was supposed to happen when my hips were tingling. The surroundings were still clean, thanks to taking a shortcut road. That meant either Madam Perza hadn’t arrived yet or nothing had happened to her. If the carriage I sent to prevent Madam Perza from coming reached her, she would never come here.

I stopped the carriage and waited in case any unforeseen situation happened. Frankly, we came with the carriage that Sir Shubart’s men knew well, so they wouldn’t attack this carriage.

This would get into Sir Shubart’s ear and into my mother’s ear too, but I couldn’t help it. It was no longer time to be afraid. I decided it would be better to persuade my mother of this opportunity so I didn’t feel any fear.

I think I waited like that for about an hour and a half. Leaning against the carriage’s wall, I was thinking of leaving after an hour or so, but someone knocked on the carriage door. My body stiffened by itself.

Ian moved to the carriage door and looked at me as he prepared to protect me. I nodded then Ian opened the carriage door.

“…”

It was Sir Shubart who knocked on the carriage door.

“Bella.”

“…Sir Shubart.”

Why did Sir Shuabrt come here himself? Has he been looking at the carriage? I thought I had driven away all my fears, but my body stiffened like a habit.

* * *

Ian got out of the carriage, leaving only me and Sir Shubart in the carriage. Sir Shubart sighed several times without saying anything else. Looking at his hard expression, which could be only seen a few times in a year,

I really thought that the time had come. Even if I made up my mind and said let’s do it, it seemed that there was nothing I could do about it when it actually happened.

“Sir Shubart, I…”

“I’ve closed my eyes a few times, but I’m still confused.”

I shut up again.

Sir Shubart was a man who wouldn’t harm me. But that was the case if I followed my mother’s words. Now that I had stopped my mother openly, I was like an enemy. And I wasn’t even related to him by blood. That thought gave me a bit of a shiver.  

“Since when?” He asked softly.

I clenched my hand on the dress. I decided to speak frankly. “…Probably from the beginning.”

“From the beginning.” He pondered, following what I said.

“It’s not from when I was a kid. It started when we were in the North.”

“Then it’s been a while.”

I shook my head. Nevertheless, I didn’t apologize to Sir Shubart. He tapped his hand on his crossed leg. It felt like a clock ticking the time before a decision had to be made, and my saliva went dry.

After a while, Sir Shubart opened his mouth. “I will close my eyes until today. You didn’t stop me or hinder me. I will take you home safely.”

Sir Shubart was trying to turn a blind eye to everything I had done so far. I couldn’t do that, so I closed my eyes tightly and said it to him. “No, Sir Shubart.”

“Bella.”

“I can’t do that anymore. I have to stop Mother, and I’m going to persuade her. That’s the way to be happy.”

Sir Shubart touched his forehead and frowned.

“I know why my mother can’t let it go. I know everything now. Even the fact that I’m mother’s real daughter.”

Sir Shubart’s body froze for a moment. He looked at me with a slightly surprised face. I smiled faintly at him.

“I thought it had something to do with Sir Shubart, but I was totally wrong. That’s why I searched why mother was doing something like that. But it won’t work. The emperor and empress will no longer close their eyes. If we don’t stop here, nothing but catastrophe will come…”

Sir Shubart’s face began to crack. I decided to tell everything to Sir Shubart.

* * *

How long has it been? My eyes and face were damp when I vomited out all the stories. As I poured out something I had been holding down all my life for the first time, I felt like I poured them together without realizing it. Nevertheless, there was no sobbing. It was just my clothes were wet, just like in the rain.

Sir Shubart was speechless for a long time. The day was getting brighter. The carriage Madam Perza was supposed to ride didn’t pass this place. In the dim light of dawn, we were constantly facing each other.

“…Bella, you…”

“…”

“That’s right. You’re Lucellai’s daughter.”

At those words, I unknowingly breathed out. Even though I saw it with my own eyes and knew the whole truth, when I heard it from one of the people who hid the secret, my heart ached as if I had heard it for the first time in my life.

“And you are also my older brother’s daughter.”

“…”

I froze. Then I slowly raised my head and looked at Sir Shubart. What? Sir Shubart… has an older brother?

“I was the first who came to her side. And that was a long time ago. But Lucellai didn’t give up going to his side. Yes, that’s how time passed.”

The first words he uttered were full of things that weren’t too much for me. Sir Shubart has been with my mother much longer than I thought. But he said his older brother ended up with my mother.

They had been with my mother when they knew nothing like me. When mother started to know the truth, she was entangled in grief and anger, dreaming of revenge and putting it into action.

My prediction was not entirely wrong. Sir Shubart had a special blood of Perenya, like me. And he said he was willing to use that ability for my mother. However, instead of choosing Sir Shubart, mother used Sir Shubart’s older brother, who had the same ability.

Rivaho’s siblings looked alike so much that it was believable that they were twins. The difference was that Sir Shubart’s older brother was terminally ill. He said that my mother knew it too.

Then mother had me and gave birth to me. It happened after the birth of the empress’s second son. Sir Shubart’s older brother, who was terminally ill, left to a place where he would never be able to return. After that, it was only Sir Shubart who stood by my mother’s side. Even though he wasn’t perfect, he was able to protect my mother by himself.

In fact, Sir Shubart said that he hated me all along. It was a bit of a shock, but I couldn’t help but understand. Then, at some point, he said that his hatred changed to worry. I don’t know if it’s true or not.

Sir Shubart said that he dreamed that maybe the three of us could live as a family if everything went according to my mother’s will and my mother was at peace. A bitter smile came out. Why can’t all of them come true? Why? All dawn Sir Shubart brought the whole truth to me.

“…”

The carriage, which had stood still for several hours, moved again. The day was completely bright, and nothing around was being hidden. Sir Shubart and I didn’t say a word until the carriage stopped again. I just couldn’t say anything.

I headed to Bei with Sir Shubart, not to the mansion. Just to where my mother is. Sir Shubart didn’t stop me. But he also didn’t support me. It seemed like he was going to leave it all to me now. However, Sir Shubart said that if my mother couldn’t give up, he would stay by her side. Just like now, fulfilling my mother’s wishes. That was the reason he lived.

I left him like that, went in, and headed to where my mother was. To stop my mother with all my heart. I fully realized that I was nothing more than my mother’s tool, but I still took steps to convince her.

“…”

I stopped walking in front of my mother’s room. Even though I couldn’t see anything inside and couldn’t hear anything, somehow, I knew that my mother was there.

Knock, knock. I knocked on the door whether it could be heard or not.

“…Come in.”

My mother’s quiet voice came from inside.