I never would have imagined that I would become the owner of a castle one day... I didn't even say that I wanted it, everyone just kind of agreed that this place belongs to me now.

Well, after traveling for so long it feels nice to have a home again. And I got a big room all for myself, with a big, comfortable bed, and water dripping from the many leaks in the ceiling... It's been raining non-stop for 3 days now. Apparently, this only happens once or twice a year in this part of the wasteland so it's a bit unlucky that it happened just after I arrived.

Also, this place really is in need of some repairs. Having been built with stone from the depths of the infernal caverns, this castle is far more durable than most. But it is also 2000 years old and it seems that there have been a lot of battles here with high-level combatants that have been damaging the construction little by little, there are cracks and holes everywhere. Fortunately, there were some buckets in a storage room that I've been using to collect the water.

"Bucket number 4 is filling the fastest."

A large and imposing castle with exceptionally strong walls, with cracks and holes all over it. It almost feels like this is a metaphor for me...

And if I agree to become the queen of the demon wasteland this will probably become my permanent residence. I need to make a decision soon... I was hoping that something would happen to make the decision easier, or that I would suddenly come to some deep realization. Instead, I've been here in this room for a few days now and I still have no idea of what answer I should give.

That's not to say that I've just been sitting here doing nothing, I have a lot of things on my to-do list after all. So I tried to perform an autopsy on Kalroth's body, learning more about void mana seemed like the most urgent thing to do. But when I opened his body I discovered that it was mostly hollow, no organs, not even bones, I have to admit that it was a bit disturbing... I guess I should have guessed it from the lack of weight.

However, the void mana in him had formed a few crystals that had been somehow maintaining the shape of the body, so I decided to experiment on them instead.

And what I discovered from those experiments is that void mana is dangerous, in more than one way. At first, I attempted to use my magic to analyze the crystals, but it appears that when any form of magic is used on void mana the result is always the same. The void mana causes the spell to vanish, but if the spell is too powerful, the mana will change from void to the element of the spell. And that happened with any spell I attempted, it made no difference if it was an attack, an analysis spell, or a curse.

The next thing I noticed was that just being near void mana causes people's emotions to become less intense. It only affects me slightly, but when Nera came to visit there was a moment when she almost looked like a doll. That gave me quite a scare, so I decided to keep the crystals away from everyone else.

But the biggest scare came when some of the crystals I had left close to each other fused together and turned into another one of those void demons. That one looked like a featureless cube instead of a spike.

It attacked me with some strange magic that made me feel like I had become... less. After disposing of the demon I checked my status and my level had been reduced by 2. Fortunately, the effect was temporary and my level returned to normal after 30 minutes, but if I ever encounter a large number of those demons and they all use that magic at the same time things could get really dangerous.

In the end, I placed the few crystals I had left in a locked room surrounded by magic circles with the strongest sealing effects I can produce. Performing experiments that most people would call dangerous is nothing new to me, but this is the first time I've truly felt that I didn't know what I was dealing with...

And so, I'm now in my room watching how the buckets fill with rainwater. I should pour some of the water in bucket number 4 into number 2...

*Knock*

"Luna, are you there?"

"Nera? You can come in."

Since Nera is a princess, she might be able to help me figure out if becoming a queen would be a good idea, but I was afraid of talking to her after the incident with the void mana.

"So, have you made a decision yet?"

"No. But are you feeling well? I'm sorry about what happened..."

"You mean the void mana thing? I already told you that it wasn't a big deal."

"I see..."

Even if she says that she's fine I still feel bad, she could have been hurt because I didn't take enough precautions.

"So Luna, have you ever seen a rain spirit?"

"A rain spirit? No. I've never been interested in spirits."

"Well, there's one at the window in my room right now. Do you want to come and see it?"

"I don't think I can right now..."

"Oh, are you busy with those experiments of yours?"

"No, I've already finished for now."

"Then are you focused on deciding if you want to become a queen?"

"Actually, I wanted to ask you to help me with that. Since you are a princess you should know what it's like to rule a country, no? And the Agua kingdom also has a lot of demons living in it."

"It's not really the same. The demons living in the Agua kingdom have a mindset closer to the humans there than the demons here. The demon wasteland has a rather... unique culture. Other demons often try to distance themselves from the ones living here."

"Yeah, I know that the demon wasteland does not have a very good reputation."

I suppose that's something I have in common with this place. But I don't think that I've done as much to earn my bad reputation...

"To be honest, even if you become their queen I don't think that this place can even be called a country the way it is now. It's just a collection of tribes that do not even have any laws in common."

"That's true..."

After taking a look at the buckets, I pour some of the water in bucket number 1 into number 5.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, it's just that the water is dripping from some leaks faster than the others."

Nera seems confused for a moment, then she seems to realize something.

"Luna... are you pouring water from one bucket to another just to make sure that they all fill at the same pace?"

"Of course, yesterday I didn't pay attention and one of them overflowed long before the others, it was a disaster."

"Don't tell me that this is the reason why you didn't want to come with me."

"Yes, if I leave, bucket number 4 is going to..."

"Didn't I tell you to stop obsessing so much over stupid things?"

"It's not stupid! These buckets all have the same capacity, so they should all contain the same amount of water! It's just common sense."

"Let's go, I want you to see that rain spirit before it leaves."

"Wait! Nera! don't pull my arm!"

It seems like I have no choice but to leave.

Nera's room is connected to another room, where her maid, Mari, is staying. She's looking at us while trying to hide behind the door, but we can see her clearly. Does she think that we don't know that she's there?

"Look, that's the rain spirit."

Floating just outside the window there's something that looks like a semitransparent octopus with a large eyeball where its head should be. Looking at it while it taps on the window is somehow making me feel more aware of the fact that it's raining.

"You can hear it, right? Is it saying anything to us?"

"It's just trying to let us know that it's raining right now."

"Eh? But we can see that. What's the point of it telling us?"

"It doesn't matter if there's no point. A spirit just does whatever its nature tells it to do, and this one is supposed to inform living creatures about the rain."

"That seems dumb..."

"You should not think of spirits as if they were people or even animals. They do not possess free will, and they are incapable of learning or understanding anything that they are not supposed to know."

"That's horrible."

"It would be horrible if it was a person, I told you that it's not."

"So why did you want to show me this?"

"You seem to be having trouble making a decision, so I thought that seeing something that cannot make any decisions at all would help."

"I don't see how this is supposed to help me."

"Well, just think about it. This spirit cannot decide to not tell us about the rain because it cannot understand that we already know about it. Making a decision requires knowledge about the thing you're deciding, otherwise, you might as well just pick something randomly."

"I see... So the reason why I cannot decide if I want to become a queen is that I don't understand what becoming a queen would really mean."

"Xania knows the demon wasteland much better than me. I bet that she could help you."

"You're right. I should have a talk with her."

But do I have enough time? Bucket number 4 must be around halfway full by now...

"Luna, stop thinking about the buckets."

"I wasn't thinking about the buckets."

"Yes, you were."

"Yes, I was..."

forli

And from there I just made everything up as I went. That's not how I usually write and when I do I always feel like the chapter is a bit all over the place.