Chapter 4.1

« …. This is not the time. I must go to my father » Philomel wiped the tears from her eyes and pressed on.

It was Eustis who was going to kill her, not them.

‘No matter what they say, you won’t be hurt’.

She walked slowly, looking around. Luckily she did not yet have her own palace and was still living in the emperor’s palace because she was still young. Moreover, for whatever reason, there were very few people in the palace for her. She arrived in front of the emperor’s office, having avoided a few servants. There was no escort in front of the door of the office, because Eustis had no escorts in the palace. As there was nobody in front of the door, Philomel opened it carefully.

« How persistent, Pollan »

She was able to see the inside of the office through the doorway. In spite of the splendid decoration the atmosphere between the emperor and Count Pollan was icy. Count Pollan was trying to convince the emperor who was sitting at his desk.

« But, Your Majesty! The princess is ill, why don’t you go and visit her? »

And the subject of their discussion was her, Philomel! It suited her. She could know what Eustis thinks of her without facing him. Philomel listened silently. The emperor frowned and said

« Why do you care so much?  I don’t think she’s sick. I feel sorry for her. But she’s pretending to be sick anyway, as usual. »

« Her nanny says she’s really sick this time »

« So? »

« If you visit the princess, it will have great power over her cold. »

« Why make so much fuss just for a cold? »

Count Pollan closed his mouth for a moment. He was a loyal servant of Eustis when he was still a young prince. They knew each other well enough to be able to ask him intimate questions without hesitation.

« Your Grace, go and see your daughter. Is she not of your own blood? »

Philomel’s heart sank.

The emperor himself was very curious about this himself. Why was he unable to give Philomel affection? His answer was shocking

« I never felt she was my child. »

Philomel felt as if something was falling on his head.

« Do you think the reason why Lady Isabella died is because of the Princess? Therefore… »

« Shut up. »

« …. I’m sorry »

Eustis’ icy gaze nailed Count Pollan to the spot. The story of his wife who died before his eyes was taboo. The emperor said dismally.

« That’s what I once thought.  I was deeply resentful. So much so that I wanted to kill her with my own hands. »

« …… »

« But that’s ancient history. Now I don’t feel anything at all. »

« Why not? »

» Because I expect absolutely nothing. I don’t want her to fill Isabella’s vacancy. I would have been satisfied if she had played her role as successor a minimum, » said Eustis, pressing his forehead with a tired gesture.

« But what has she done so far? She doesn’t go to classes, she doesn’t have good marks.  And her behaviour yesterday in front of people was lamentable ».

« … Philomel is making efforts too. But you’re often angry with her »

« If making trouble means making an effort, then you’re right ».

Eustis laughs as he raises a corner of his mouth.

« You are too strict with her. She’s only nine years old, it’s normal that she’s still immature. »

« At her age I fought to the death with my blood-bound brothers for the throne. »

« It is because your situation demanded it, and your majesty, you have always excelled in everything from a very young age… »

« Isabella was like that too »

« She’s still your daughter, even if she doesn’t look like you. »

« That’s enough, go away »

He got up from his seat and approached a perfectly decorated cupboard on the other side of the room, on which there were perfectly aligned bottles of alcohol. He grabbed a bottle and poured an amber liquid into a verse, indicating that he no longer wanted to continue this conversation.  Count Pollan realised that if he continued any further, he would irritate the emperor. Eustis was a little more generous with him than with the others, but only a little more. Count Pollan looked at the emperor’s back one last time before trying to withdraw.

« …. But you really don’t feel anything for the princess? »

Before Count Pollan came to the door, Philomel had to leave quickly to avoid being caught. But when she heard this question, her feet refused to move. She wanted to listen to Eustis’ answer. Her luck depended on this answer.

Eustis opened his mouth slowly.

« Yes. There’s only one thing I want from her. »

Philomel took a deep breath.

« To live as quietly as a mouse. Not to seek my attention, so that I don’t know she’s there. »

It was such a cold answer as if it would never change.