Chapter 13 - Poem

With the help of Ned, my body got off the mound. While my arm was on his shoulder, we walked our way back home. We prepared some food again.

Though there was little comprehension of what Ned and Erin were doing, I could at least somewhat imitate their actions. Ned hurried off to practice magic in the courtyard while Alyx and Erin went upstairs to the dorms. If casting spells was not a bad idea maybe my mind would practice with Ned.

My legs hobbled their way up the stairs. To my surprise, Erin was skipping across the hallway without Alyx. This brought up concern, but Erin seemed fine so my worries were dismissed. She seemed to be humming a song.

"Hey, Jay! Thanks for the help earlier."

It was weird that she was so forward in talking with me.

"Oh yeah, no problem."

Erin looked at me curiously.

"Jay, how did you learn two spells so quickly? I couldn't even finish memorizing one!"

Erin had thrown up her arms exaggeratedly and walked up next to me. My mind blanked, it was caught unprepared for this question.

I felt saying that I had learned these spells before but I later died and came back would make me sound insane. My mouth fumbled with some words.

"I... uh... well..."

It was then my mind recalled something.

"Yeah, Reyna was explaining to Ned and I just listened to her and got it."

Erin tilted her head from one side to the other.

"Mmmmm... Makes sense, but how did you also remember how to do the earth spell?"

Erin's inquisitive eyes looked directly at me. Sweat started to form on my forehead.

"Er... I just happened to remember it, you know?"

Erin narrowed her eyes and twirled around.

"That makes sense as well."

I nodded with a bit of relief.

"Yeah, yeah."

All of a sudden, Erin paused in front of me. She was pointing a finger accusingly straight at my face.

"But!"

Her cheeks puffed up and aggressively swung around the arm she used to point at me.

"You're lying to me!"

My hands raised up to block her arm from hitting my face.

"Wait, how do you even know! I could be telling the truth!"

Erin did not relent.

"Look at you! You can't even believe your own lies! This is totally your first time lying isn't it?"

My mind broke down completely.

"Yes! I'm sorry, I'm very sorry."

What... This is unfair. How can she tell so easily?

Erin smiled at me teasingly.

"So... how did you actually learn it?"

My mouth dried up.

I guess at the end of the day the truth is what happened but... I think she would deem me as an insane person who believes he can revive himself.

Wait... now that I think about it... maybe that is me.

Erin let out a dissatisfied sigh.

"If you are too scared to share, that's oki doki."

I nodded in an attempt to hide my awkwardness, without much success. Erin smiled again.

"If you have something you don't want to share don't lie ok! Just say you don't want to share, that's how you do it!"

My body was getting tired so my back leaned onto the wall.

"Yeah, yeah... How do you know so much about lying anyway?"

Erin started to pout.

"Mm... I don't want to share."

My hand scratched the back of my head.

"Ah yes ok, ok. That is my bad for asking."

Erin smiled again.

"It is ok. I just don't like it when people lie. That's bad stuff."

"What do you mean?"

Erin came over and leaned on the wall next to me.

"...They are hurtful, you know?"

...Are they?

"But sometimes you lie to help right? Like, hide the bad things."

Erin smiled bitterly.

"And then what? You try to hide it all but it's still there isn't it?"

My mouth was agape. Erin started to twirl her hair.

"I'm really scared of strangers, it feels like so many are just ready to hurt me behind their smiles."

My fingers fidgeted.

"So... am I a stranger?"

Erin giggled.

"No, silly. You aren't too bad."

Eh?... I guess I can just assume that's a good thing.

Erin seemed to get melancholic.

"Lying just makes people worry for no reason. Lying to cover up the pain... Maybe instead of a lie, staying with them is better. Sometimes I just... want a hug more than a lie, you know?"

All I could do was nod slowly. Erin smiled softly.

"I've always been able to tell when people lie. There was a time when I wished I didn't know... that I didn't know that people were pretending everything was ok and trying to hide everything from me."

Erin smiled delicately.

"But that would make me the same as them. I didn't want to be like that at all."

My face heated up.

"Ah... Sorry for um... lying to you."

Erin giggled softly.

"It's ok, I was able to find what kind of person you are already. I can forgive your terrible lie."

Eh... I'm not that easy to see through right?

Erin covered her mouth as she giggled more.

"Sorry, sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings!"

My fist covered my mouth, blocking a cough.

"My... My feelings are fine!"

Erin looked at Alyx's room.

"Alyx has been protecting me for a long time. So that I wouldn't have to talk to the people I really didn't want to."

My voice became soft.

"Wow... that is really nice of her."

Erin started to kick her legs.

"I could always get as many hugs as I wanted from her. I think the reason is that she likes them too."

A chuckle slipped through my lips and Erin continued like she was in a trance.

"The first time I met Alyx I went up to say hi to her. I was shy but I couldn't help myself. She was very sweet when she said hello. At the time I was at the beach with my parents, I was really excited to be at the beach. I started to follow anything that interested me, I curiously found one thing then went to another. Before I knew it I was very far away from my parents. It got really dark and I was really scared. I... started to sniffle. Then tears fell down my face. A little later and I started wailing as loud as I could. After weeping, I heard the growls of a dog. It started to bark at me and I could only curl up, trying to stay as silent as I could."

Erin faintly smiled.

"Right when I had given up, I heard hurried footsteps and panting. Alyx had run over. Alyx stood in between me and the dog so bravely. Opening my eyes I could see she was trembling in fear. She was so scared, but she stood there without backing off. The dog eventually ran off and Alyx fell to the floor. I thanked her and asked her if she was ok. Even while she could hardly form her words, she told me she was fine with a trembling voice."

Erin just smiled while staring at me.

"You kinda remind me of Alyx."

A bewildered look appeared on my face.

"Wha... Uh..."

Erin reached out her hand, trying to grasp at nothing.

"It's because you are a bad liar, just like her."

My face felt hot. How many times was she going to bring up my bad lying skills?

Erin didn't seem to notice and continued.

"She made a poem this one time, I really, really liked it. Alyx was super embarrassed and told me I couldn't tell anyone about it."

She turned her hand around in the air. My eyes followed her hand's motions.

"So, you can't tell me?"

Erin laughed and smiled brightly.

"I told her I was going to tell whoever I wanted to. She really freaked out."

...This girl is scary.

"I- I think it would be unfair for me to know about this poem if Alyx didn't want me to hear it."

Erin stuck her tongue out.

"Aw, come on just listen to it ok?"

I nodded, but mostly out of nervousness. Erin closed her eyes.

"She called it,

I'm a Bad Liar.

The world was always a scary place filled with monsters.

Day and night they appear, to devour our last light of hope.

Yet, they hide so well, right in front of us.

From the cracks of our hearts to the depths of our eyes.

I know their visage, from their head to their toe.

You may be afraid, but I will hold them back.

You will never have to worry, I can keep you safe.

You may live in a utopia with me, where nothing will harm you.

I will never have to know of any vicious creatures again.

I can cover my eyes and make it all disappear.

I can stop all the pain if I just let myself drift to sleep.

But sometimes I wonder...

...If only I wasn't a bad liar."

Erin still had a dreamy smile after she finished the poem.

"Isn't it great?"

My mouth opened and closed.

What response did she want from me?

"Yeah..."

Erin let out a small sigh.

"Alyx has been there for me for so long..."

As Erin talked about Alyx it reminded me of when Ned was telling me how much he missed his friends and family.

"Do... Do you miss them?"

Erin raised an eyebrow.

"Who?"

It took some time to gather my words.

"Your friends and... family."

She slid down the wall, sitting down with her legs tucked in. My legs were trembling so they did the same. Erin was looking at the floor.

"I don't. I couldn't even if I wanted to, the only person that mattered to me was Alyx."

Erin gave a small smile.

"Plus, if I was still there I would have never met you and Ned."

My finger scratched my cheek.

"What do you mean by that?"

Erin laid her head back and rested it on the wall.

"It was really fun with you guys around. I can tell you right now that Alyx has been enjoying herself more than ever."

Involuntarily, a smile emerged on my face.

"It has been pretty fun."