Chapter 43 - Reflection

There was no mana around me, so no spells were available. Alyx herself had just finished casting her Evil Null spell.

Ned's eyes were widened, he was frozen.

Alyx's mouth was agape and she seemed to fall in despair.

Erin stood still as if she had accepted her fate.

What... What should I do?

My hand reached out to the eagle, despite logic telling me that I was way too far to do anything.

I had to protect everyone, and they would in turn protect me.

Erin couldn't die here.

A tight feeling wrapped around my body.

Then there was pain.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

A scream at the top of my lungs broke out of me.

My knees buckled and landed on the ground next to Erin.

The eagle had exploded into pieces, but the only thing on my left arm was a stump that began bleeding.

It was not the bleeding that caused the pain.

I could still feel my hand, it seemed to have disappeared when my body warped but despite it disappearing every single cell still sent a pain signal into my brain.

The pain slowly numbed, to let me recognize how much blood my body was losing.

The... The healing spell.

My frazzled mind anxiously cast the healing spell. My consciousness was flickering, making the process difficult, but my mind persevered.

With only one eye slightly open, the healing spell finished.

The pain was greatly reduced, skin covered my stump, and the tears on my skin receded.

My body collapsed right there, unable to move. Slowly the pain receded.

The other three were startled by my escapade but quickly focused back on casting.

With nobody to distract, the eagles gradually swarmed the door.

Alyx let out one last Evil Null, before collapsing in a pile of her own sweat and losing consciousness entirely.

Ned was sweating and frowning heavily, but still cast a firebolt, as futile as it was.

All the eagles dived the palace entrance and Ned's face began to contort.

When doom seemed imminent, a large cone of ice burst from Erin's hands.

"I... I did it! I did it!"

But... one eagle avoided the ice cone entirely.

Alyx would be unable to cast Evil Null, and Ned's firebolt wouldn't kill it...

...I needed to cast... the spell...

My muddled mind desperately tried to gather mana, but not even a small gust was stirred up.

...Damn.

My eyes watched helplessly as the eagle dived.

Ned threw a firebolt, but it only did minimal damage to the eagle's wings...

Then...

The eagle exploded.

Ela had arrived, covered in scales and the blood of the eagle she just killed.

As a wave of relief washed over me, everything became black.

...

There was a dull pain in my left arm. There was also a terrible headache and my body felt weak.

My eyelids slowly parted.

It was my room, and my body was laying down in the bed.

My head tilted over to see Erin's sleeping face.

"...Erin?"

Erin's eyes fluttered open.

"Jay?"

After a few blinks, Erin bounced around.

"Oh, have some food."

Erin handed me a plate with some food on it.

After my eyes were laid on the food, a strong hunger erupted from my stomach.

The food was cold, but I finished it quickly.

A small sigh left my lips.

"Thank you."

Erin had a sweet smile.

"And thank you for saving me."

A forced chuckle came out of me.

"...No problem... How long have I been asleep?"

Erin sighed.

"More than a whole day."

My eyes blinked a few times.

"Wow... I really am a heavy sleeper."

Erin laughed.

"Yeah..."

A frown slowly formed on Erin's face.

"But... Why did you lie to us?"

"Huh?"

Erin rubbed the top of my head with her fingers.

"You said you found the spells in a library... but that wasn't how you got them."

A sigh escaped me.

"The way I got them would sound a little too ridiculous, and you guys would no longer take me seriously."

Erin jumped up and down.

"Then you can just say you don't want to talk about it."

My eyes closed.

"Yeah..."

A smile appeared on my face.

"Haha, would you believe me if I said that... I have died many times. That whenever I die, I am sent back to when we are all summoned. That I have gone through so many things with you all, yet none of you can remember it."

Erin brushed aside my bangs.

"I can believe it."

My eyes opened.

"...How do you believe that?"

Erin smiled.

"It explains how you were just able to use so many spells... Plus I can tell that you aren't lying."

I laughed, then grimaced in pain.

"You don't think I'm just crazy?"

Erin puffed out her chest.

"Hehe, I was always able to tell these kinds of things."

My mind still hurt but forced itself to slowly gather mana to cast another healing spell.

"That is impressive..."

Erin crossed her arms.

"Naturally."

My lungs slowly took in a deep breath.

"How are you able to tell these things so easily?"

Erin smirked and raised her index finger in the air.

"There are various cues you can pick up that are usually telltale signs."

Erin cleared her throat playfully.

"There are the easiest signs of the novice liar. These people have trouble maintaining eye contact, they may play with their hair or scratch themselves. Not to mention peculiar body posture, such as being hunched over."

Erin then pointed directly in front of my face.

"Next! The people who have some idea of how to lie, like you. When these people tell lies they might try to change the subject quickly so that people don't think about it too much. They may also try to remain silent to reduce their presence after lying so people unconsciously don't think about it. To top it off, they tend to speak vaguely, to not give many details."

Erin's head bopped back and forth.

"Then comes their body language. Unlike novice liars, it's not their extra actions that indicate anything, but what their actions lack. If you find that someone suddenly relaxes their face, that is usually because they are trying to prevent any guilt showing."

Erin raised both her hands in the air.

"This can also be shown in their body posture. It isn't too hard to realize that a liar will tense their body unnecessarily. So some try to relax their body as much as they can. The only problem with that, is they take it too far, making it easy to figure out."

Erin put her hands in her lap and leaned over to me.

"Then comes the more advanced lying, the types actors and people in business do. The first part is how they smi-"

Erin suddenly put a finger to her mouth.

"Actually, you only need to know that much, I don't want you to use this knowledge to become a liar after all!"

My mind tried to commit what she said to memory. A wry smile appeared on my face.

"Haha, well thanks for telling me."

Erin nodded with a bright smile.

"Hehe, now it's your turn to answer me!"

What?

"Uh, what do you mean?"

Erin poked out her tongue.

"Well, you said you had lived many lives right? I wanna hear it!"

A bitter smile appeared on my face.

"It isn't that happy..."

Erin chuckled.

"Well of course it wasn't happy, dying sounds hard. Now tell me!"

...I cannot understand what logic this girl lives by.

"Well... give me some time to think."

A sad smile appeared on my face.

"The first time, we were summoned together, ate food, then took the carriage. From there I split up with the rest of the group to explore the town. I ended up wandering too far, got captured as a slave, and died as I was running away."

Erin's hand lightly patted my forehead. My eyes closed as I reminisced about the past.

"I tried to pretend that never happened after that. In the end, my gloom slowly became a little stronger as time passed. Mildred comforted me, which helped me try again. But... I died again even when I tried so hard."

A tear fell down my face and Erin wiped it away. After a deep breath, my story continued.

"I... gave up, but Mildred saved me again. Even though I was a stranger to her. I promised myself I would try from then on."

Tears fell down both sides of my face.

"Then... the eagle killed Reyna and Ned, but Ela saved me. I didn't want to face the fact that Ned died, so I went to the forest. But I also went to the forest to change myself. I stubbornly survived but died soon after anyway."

My crying was no longer suppressed, but loud and obnoxious.

"I died so much more... I just... want to stop all the misery. Why... Why does this world... just have to be about suffering? Why can't we just be happy... it's not fair... that nice people have to be so sad..."

Erin wiped away my tears even though they came out faster than she could get rid of them.

"You have been so strong."