Chapter 95 - I Wonder

"Wait, come back!~"

Mildred attempted to chase me, but fell over after just a few steps. She hit the ground pretty hard and groaned in pain. I looked back, feeling a pain in my heart.

I wanted to go back to help... but I was scared.

It was a strange set of conflicting emotions. One part of me pulled forward while the other pulled me back.

Mildred was the one that helped me at my lowest point. So... it was only right to go back.

But whenever I thought about her strange smile, a chill was sent down my spine.

...Mildred would probably twist my limbs further.

I gave Mildred one more fleeting glance.

Her head slowly raised. She still had that strange smile on her face.

"...Come back!~"

I ran away without any more hesitation. She was able to talk, so that meant she wasn't going to die or anything.

The only person that would die was me.

My hand held onto the shoulder that Mildred dislocated. My pupils trembled violently from the pain when I pushed it.

After a few failed attempts and groans of pain, I realized my shoulder would not snap back on.

Mildred ground my bones together, shattering some of the finer bones that made up my joints. As such, it could not be pushed back.

...It seemed like this would only mend with a healing spell. It probably wouldn't be good to do this here. Someone could catch me.

With that idea in my mind, I hurriedly made my way out of the palace, hoping that nobody would appear and stop me.

My wish was granted, as nobody appeared on my way to the palace entrance.

I set foot outside and began searching for an empty alleyway.

My thoughts grew chaotic.

How... did Mildred become like this?

Wasn't she always the gentle and mature one?

Did something happen to her?

...Was that even Mildred in the first place?

My thoughts continued to plague me, making it hard for me to see what was in front of me.

"Hey!"

Suddenly, someone called out to me.

My attention snapped back to focus. I saw... two familiar boys. They were the ones that snapped my arm and ripped the skin off my face.

My face twitched.

"...What is it?"

The two boys ran over to me with annoyed expressions on their faces. The taller boy frowned.

"What is this? How come Erin stopped attending magic school? Explain this to me!"

I remained silent.

The other boy nudged the taller one.

"See? I told you he's fine!"

He pointed towards me.

"His face is already back to normal!"

The taller boy nodded.

"Our work has already disappeared. We didn't take it too far at all! Look at him, he's basically good as new!"

The shorter boy sighed.

"Does that mean Erin didn't notice our efforts? How do we make this known to her!"

The taller boy clicked his tongue.

"Hey! Answer our questions."

I looked up to them.

"I don't know."

The shorter boy scowled.

"Damn! We can figure out how to make Erin notice later. In the end, we have to make an effort in the first place!"

The taller boy nodded.

"Yes. Don't hold back this time!"

My brows furrowed. How unlucky was I to meet these two out of the blue like this?

...Where was the last boy anyway?

The shorter boy tackled me, throwing me onto the ground. A frightening crack rang out.

My vision suddenly became blurry. It was painful, like a fire was lit in my head. I could already feel myself getting dizzy.

The shorter boy frowned.

"...That didn't sound right."

The taller boy scoffed.

"You were the one that said we took it too easy last time! Why are you chickening out now?"

A sinister frown appeared on his face.

"You saw what I did to him!"

The shorter boy trembled.

"Yes, yes!"

What?...

Who were they talking about?

Before my thoughts could continue further, my elbow was twisted. The taller boy joined it, twisting my dislocated shoulder.

My eyes bulged from their sockets.

"AHHHHHH."

The shorter boy looked at the taller one.

"...When are we supposed to stop?"

The taller boy clicked his tongue.

"We snapped his arm before, right? As long as we don't push it past this, we will be fine."

My teeth grit.

...I was getting a little angry.

The shorter boy kept twisting until he heard a crack, bending my arm in the wrong direction.

He shivered.

"Are you sure this isn't taking it too far?"

The taller boy slapped the other boy.

"Shut up! Are you going to do it or not?"

The shorter boy rubbed the side of his face before nodding.

As for the taller boy, he continued twisting my shoulder. His brows furrowed.

"...Why isn't it snapping?"

It hurt.

It hurt really bad.

My head slowly turned over to him.

The taller boy frowned.

"Why are you looking at me like that! This is your fault in the first place!"

He stomped on my shoulder, sending my mind to the brink of losing consciousness.

...This was my fault?

What did I do?

I never asked for any of this to happen.

I never asked for the world to cause so much suffering.

I never asked for everything to become this confusing.

...I never asked to be born in the first place.

So how was it my fault?

I could feel heat rush to my forehead and my vision became blurry.

The taller boy's eyelid twitched.

"...We're going to stop now."

The shorter boy furrowed his brows.

"What? But you literally just said-"

"Shut up! We're going!"

The taller boy backed off before hurriedly walking away. As for the shorter boy, he hesitated for a moment before hurriedly following him.

My pupils darted around, as though they were trying to find an answer to all this pain. My breathing had become ragged, while beads of sweat formed on my forehead.

My arms could no longer move. So I tried to force myself up with only my ab muscles. I made it halfway before falling back down, slamming onto the ground. I hit my shoulder again, causing it to flare up in even more pain.

My eyes narrowed.

...Was this what I deserved?

My teeth grit.

...I've always been trying so hard. Is it not enough?

Fueled with anger, I attempted to force myself up once again. I could feel my abs giving out, not used to so much exertion.

But before I fell, my pupils shook.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

I strained myself, forcing my muscles to continue when they wanted to give in. By the time I had actually sat up, something snapped. Like oil that spilled into the ocean, pain spread throughout my body.

Nonetheless, my legs forced me up. It wasn't like I hadn't experienced pain like this before.

...But this was different.

There was at least some sort of logical justification for those times. But now...

With bloodshot eyes, I pulled myself into a nearby alleyway. The pain already made me teeter on the line between consciousness and fainting.

...And casting the healing spell would make it even more painful.

My lungs forced in a deep breath.

Violent gales of wind whipped around me, while my skin tore open. The pain was blistering.

It was as though someone tossed me straight into an open flame while I was covered in gasoline.

When the healing spell was only halfway finished, I could feel my consciousness slip away. At this rate, I would lose consciousness. And if I lost consciousness here...

I may just die.

Waves of heat rushed to my head, fueling my rage. I slammed my head against a nearby wall, cracking my skull and scattering splinters of wood. My mind cleared, albeit slightly.

Moments later, I was back on that fine line, just moments away from blacking out. It was as though I had been walking on a tightrope, with a raging ocean far below me. Gusts of wind constantly shoved me, threatening to push me off.

If I lost focus for a single moment... I would fall.

And so, my mind whirled. The hatred from the bottom of my heart sprouted, refusing to let me give in.

I looked up to the sky, but couldn't see anything with my blurred vision.

I wondered...

I wondered about so many things.

About how people could be so selfish.

How people could change in the blink of an eye.

From gentle and caring... to crazy and cruel.

...What was Mildred like in the past?

Was she as caring as she was before?

Or was she like... that. A vicious person. One that would arbitrarily snap someone's jaw.

I thought about what made a person who they were.

In the end, are we formed by what happens to us?

...or maybe it was determined from the moment we were born.

The healing spell finished. A soothing touch wrapped around my body and mended my injuries.

I wondered if I would ever find the answers.