Chapter 97 - How I Found The Light

The man and I remained silent for a few moments. He slowly opened his eyes.

"So... that is why I don't recommend you go down this path."

I scratched the side of my head with my hand.

"I think I must go down this path anyway. Honestly, this is the only thing I can think of to do now."

The man narrowed his eyes.

"It will be a very hard path."

I tilted my head to the side.

"...I imagine it is. How do you deal with it?"

The man chuckled.

"I'm not entirely sure myself. However, it really is too difficult sometimes. There have been countless times I've wanted to give up. To throw it all away."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Simply because It really just isn't worth it."

I furrowed my brows.

"Yet you still commit to it?"

The man laughed.

"Perhaps it can be summed up the best like this."

He sighed.

"Walking through fire, not to overcome, but because that's the only way to live as an artist."

...Huh? What was that supposed to mean?

The man shook his head.

"Anyways, I ask you to reconsider. I can respect one that wishes to cross this path, but it is a dark one with no light at the end of the tunnel."

I shrugged my shoulders. The memory of when I crawled up out of the canyon resurfaced in my mind.

"The light at the end of the tunnel never revealed itself to me anyway."

The man gave me the most serious look I've seen so far.

"You will have to work hard."

His eyes narrowed.

"Very hard."

I slowly nodded.

"I understand."

The man shook his head.

"Frankly, almost nobody truly understands what hard work is. You may hear from others that you must work hard and believe that you yourself have been working hard."

He sighed.

"But rarely is that the case."

The man clenched his fist.

"Working hard means breaking yourself. Then after you're broken, you use your mangled pieces to keep working."

A smile appeared on his face.

"In reality, only those that are insane take this path."

A chuckle escaped me.

"Then I guess I'm insane."

The man had a long look at me. After a few moments of silence, he spoke solemnly.

"Remember that this was the choice you made."

He picked up one of the drawings on his table.

"You won't even have the time to regret it now."

The man handed me the drawing in his hand.

I reached out and took it.

"Thanks."

As I looked it over, the man spoke.

"If you want to buy ink and paper, just go several blocks down to your right. It will be relatively noticeable because of the big sign that says 'Refined Writer's Shop'. I recommend you go quickly because it is closing soon."

I scratched the back of my head with my hand.

"Haha... well there's not going to be much I can do anyways."

The man raised an eyebrow.

"Why is that?"

An awkward chuckle escaped me.

"Well... I really don't have any money. I told you earlier, no?"

The man laughed.

"Ah, right. Forget about that."

I stood up and gave one last wave to the man.

"Bye. Thanks for the drawing."

The man nodded.

"No problem, these are the ones that haven't sold anyway. Good luck, you'll need it."

With that, the man packed up his drawings while I headed back to the palace.

My hand lifted up the drawing the man gave me. My eyes slowly scanned over it while my feet traversed the cobblestone path.

The moonlight from the night shone down upon the drawing, giving it a faint glow.

It was another silhouette.

There was a coat draped over its shoulders. The ends of the coat were torn and were blown to the side by the wind.

The entire paper had very faint ink markings, with occasional white spots to resemble snow. It must've taken him an incredible amount of time and precision to create such a background.

The silhouette was walking through a snowy wasteland. But it did so with a tall back, one that could carry mountains on its shoulders. Despite being a still picture, it was clear this silhouette had a calm gait. One that spoke of confidence.

In one of its hands was a bright light, one that shone with a radiance in order to fight back against this dark world. The light did not overpower the darkness in the drawing, but it remained obstinately. No matter how dark the path ahead got, it would shine brightly.

There was no end in sight within the snowy wasteland

And it appeared like there would never be one.

Yet, the silhouette continued on. It was as though the silhouette would continue moving even when time itself stopped.

It wouldn't be at lightning bolt speeds, or even fast for that matter.

The silhouette traveled slowly, but did so with the power of a giant.

I let out a soft sigh.

According to the man, this was one of the images he was unable to sell. Yet in my eyes, it was priceless.

...Perhaps the reason it wasn't able to sell was because the drawing was priceless.

Only those that could truly understand its true worth were few and far in between.

Before I knew it, my foot was set down within the palace entrance.

I securely tucked away the drawing before walking to the courtyard.

Maybe Ned and the others were there.

The grass of the courtyard flattened under the weight of my foot. My eyes scanned the surroundings to see Ned.

He was stargazing.

Ned's back laid comfortably in the grass. His hands were placed behind his head while his elbows stuck out carelessly. It was as though he had become truly free.

There was a tree behind Ned, standing over him as though to shelter him. As for the moonlight, it gently caressed his face, as though to comfort him.

My foot traversed through the grass, letting out quiet mulch-like sounds. Ned slowly turned his head over and let out a quiet chuckle.

"Hey, Jay."

I waved.

"Hey Ned."

After getting next to Ned, I sat down on the grass, casually stretching out my legs.

"What are you doing here? It almost looks like you plan to sleep here."

Ned smiled brightly.

"Haha, honestly I don't want to get up. I might just fall asleep right here."

My eyes rolled.

"That doesn't sound the most healthy."

Ned shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe."

A short silence lingered between us. Suddenly, Ned let out a long sigh.

"Do you ever wonder... if you're a bad person?"

My eyes blinked a few times.

"...What?"

Ned laughed.

"I just mean sometimes I feel kinda selfish."

My back laid down in the grass while my arms took on a similar position to Ned.

"Well... is it so bad to be selfish? At the end of the day, we are still a person that needs to be cared for."

Ned smiled.

"I guess that's true... to a certain extent."

My eyebrow raised.

"What do you mean?"

Ned shook his head.

"Never mind."

Although curious, I did not probe further. A bitter smile emerged on my face.

"We shouldn't stay here for too long. Remember what happened last time?"

Ned smirked.

"Yeah... but I'm going to stay for at least a little longer. You can go back if you want."

My eyes rolled.

"And what will you be doing if I go back?"

Ned chuckled.

"I'll be here, stargazing."

A sigh escaped me.

"I admit the stars are beautiful, but what makes you feel the need to stare at them for so long?"

Ned reached out with his hand, as though he was trying to grasp the sky.

"Stars don't disappear."

My brows furrowed.

"Eh? But I can't see them in the morning."

Ned took a deep breath.

"You can't see them, but they are still there. They keep blazing, even when the night is over."

...Ah, is that how it is?

My eyes narrowed, looking at the stars a little closer.

"They are always shining with all their might, even when nobody can see them."

Ned smiled brightly.

"Only when you look up in the dark night, can you see the effort they put in."

A yawn uncontrollably took over my body.

"...That's kind of cruel for the day to overshadow them so much."

Ned shook his head.

"No..."

My eyebrow raised.

"No?"

Ned's fingers slowly moved around, as though they were trying to swim through muddy water.

"The sun is simply part of nature. It is not cruel, but rather just exists. In the end, it's beyond our control."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"So if it's beyond us, then it's beyond us."

Honestly, I was a little confused by what Ned was saying. But at the same time... I felt part of me subconsciously knew what he was talking about.

I raised my hand in the air like Ned.

"But the sun shines more brightly than all the stars. Why are you so fixated on them?"

Ned slowly closed his eyes.

"As bright as the sun is, the stars are how I found the light."