Chapter 114 - Do You Really Think...

I furrowed my brows and shifted around uncomfortably on the floor.

"Mildred has been destroying her body?"

Ned leaned back in his seat and sighed.

"...That's the gist of it, yeah."

I turned to look in Mildred's direction, where her bed was. Although I couldn't see Mildred, it was not hard to tell she was there from the soft thumping sounds and creaking from the bedposts.

She was still convulsing.

After a few moments, I spoke up.

"Why... why is this happening? Is it because she drank too much alcohol?"

Ned was silent for a moment, but eventually answered.

"Kind of. When people drink alcohol, it makes their minds feel different."

I looked in Ned's direction.

"Different? What do you mean by that?"

Ned shrugged his shoulders.

"You know, drunk. Basically, it just makes them feel better."

I blinked a few times.

"Oh... ok."

My last experience seemed to contradict that, but I decided to ignore that for now.

Ned shook his head.

"Anyways, the brain is kinda complex. If people regularly begin drinking alcohol, it will adapt and counteract it."

He scratched the back of his head.

"Over time, the brain gets used to greatly reducing the stuff that makes you feel nice to balance out the nice feeling you get from alcohol."

Ned shrugged his shoulders.

"In the end... you will have to rely on alcohol just to feel like normal."

I widened my eyes.

"So... it just becomes normal in the end?"

Ned sighed.

"Well, there are a lot of health concerns from just drinking alcohol in the first place. So as time passes, things just slowly get worse."

I massaged my temple with my knuckle.

"So Mildred needs to stop drinking, or else this will continue?"

Ned smiled sadly.

"...Well, not exactly."

I raised my eyebrow.

"Huh?"

Ned looked at Mildred.

"Remember that I said the brain will counteract the effects of drinking, right?"

I nodded slightly.

"Yeah..."

Ned clasped his hands together.

"If the brain expects alcohol to come and prepares accordingly, but that alcohol never comes..."

He narrowed his eyes.

"Then something like this happens. It's called withdrawal."

It took me a few moments to find the words.

"...It's so violent."

Ned nodded.

"It is very, very dangerous. You can probably tell, but if you weren't there, Mildred could've died."

I shuddered.

"So Mildred... stopped drinking? But if she ends up like this, doesn't she have to continue drinking?"

Ned smiled bitterly.

"It's a little complicated, but with enough time she will revert back."

A frown slowly formed on his face.

"The only problem is how hard it will be. Not only will she experience even more seizures, but will have to fight the urge to get some more alcohol. An urge that only grows."

Ned sighed.

"Normally, people would go to a hospital and have medical assistance for the seizures. However, I don't think there's anything like that here."

I furrowed my brows.

"What does that mean?"

Ned shrugged his shoulders.

"It means as Mildred takes the time to recover, she will probably experience more seizures like this one. Unfortunately, she will have to brush by death a few times before this will stop."

I blinked a few times.

"Oh... ok."

In reality, I was asking about what the terms like 'hospital' and 'medical assistance' meant. However, I decided not to harp on it.

I held the side of my face with my hand.

"So this means Mildred has been trying to stop her drinking? Or did she just forget?"

Ned smiled bitterly.

"Something like that is probably impossible to forget."

He looked off towards the curtains.

"Frankly, the only way something like this can happen is if they really can't get their hands on some alcohol or through sheer willpower stop themselves."

Ned narrowed his eyes.

"Even when they know that it's bad for them... they can't help but do just that. If you try to stop them..."

He sighed and shook his head.

"Nevermind."

After a few moments of silence, I spoke up.

"So Mildred has been trying really hard."

Ned smiled softly.

"Yes, she has. It definitely isn't something one can do on a whim."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Who knows, maybe Mildred had some sort of enlightenment about the type of person she wanted to be. Or maybe she desperately wished to change how her life was lived."

I blinked a few times.

"That sounds..."

My eyes narrowed.

"...amazing."

Ned laughed.

"It definitely is. I don't know why she made this choice, but I can definitely respect her for it."

I sighed.

"So... is Mildred going to be ok for now?"

Ned nodded.

"She should be fine. Seizures usually aren't longer than a few minutes. If they do go past, like, five minutes, then that's really bad."

I turned to Mildred. The faint thumping sounds were still going on strong, meaning her spasming hadn't calmed down yet.

"...How long has she been on the bed?"

Ned blinked a few times, before whipping his head towards Mildred. A frown quickly formed on his face.

"What?... it should already have been a few minutes."

I furrowed my brows.

"Will something bad happen if the seizure goes on for too long?"

Ned took a deep breath.

"When someone goes through a seizure, it becomes really hard to breathe. That means if they go through it for too long..."

A hint of panic seeped into my heart. I forced myself up, despite how painful it was. My mind felt like a ball of lead, prompting me to hold it up with my hand.

I grabbed onto the bedpost to stop myself from stumbling and looked at Mildred.

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, while she began to foam at the mouth. I could hear her occasionally inhale, but would be cut off short. It sounded like she was choking.

I turned to Ned.

"What... what are we supposed to do?"

Ned opened his mouth, but took his time to form the words.

"I-I don't know!"

My fingers dug deep into my scalp.

"But you knew so much before! How could you not know now?"

Ned shook his head.

"I've never experienced this before. I'm not a doctor."

Ned furrowed his brows.

"I only know you are supposed to call the hospital at this point, but..."

I clenched onto the bedpost tightly.

"Dammit... why is this happening?"

Mildred...

She was going to die because she stopped drinking alcohol?

...But why did Mildred stop?

Unless it was because of... that time I talked with her.

She... She was suffering because of me.

Because I just had to say so many things.

My breathing grew faster and increased in intensity

I was the reason this happened.

...I had to do something about it. There had to be a way to fix it.

The healing spell.

Although it couldn't fix her condition, it would calm her down.

...But if I cast it now, I wasn't sure if I could survive.

No, I just had to cast it on myself first, then cast it on Mildred.

Large gusts of wind stirred up, picking up the clothes on the floor and making them fly around the room. The scene immediately became chaotic.

The tears in my skin began to leak blood, while I felt my consciousness waver.

It was only now, did I realize my mind was on the brink of losing consciousness. Would I even be able to cast two healing spells?

...Or should I just cast one?

"Jay, what are you doing?"

Ned yelled at me.

I coughed up a mouthful of blood.

"I... I need to..."

Ned grabbed my shoulder firmly and looked at me sternly.

"I don't know what in the world is going on, but I can tell you're going to do something stupid!"

The healing spell was halfway finished.

I shook my head.

"No... this is my fault..."

Ned shook me.

"Since when was this your fault? Even if you did something, this was clearly her choice!"

My eyes were bloodshot.

"...Maybe."

No...

I already decided I wouldn't take the blame for everything.

That wasn't the reason I was so desperate to do this.

My lips parted ever so slightly.

"I just... don't want her... to die."

Mildred...

She probably died several times in my other lives, when I was exploring the forest.

Even if Mildred died now, that wouldn't mean I would never get to see her again.

Even if she survived, that wouldn't mean she would survive later...

But still, I couldn't bear to see her die.

After so long, I was finally able to understand Mildred a little more. Past what she simply appeared to be.

If Mildred died now... what we went through would die as well.

The healing spell was almost finished.

I let go of my head and pointed a finger towards Mildred.

In just a moment... she wouldn't have to be in so much pain.

"....Do you really think Mildred would want you to do this?"