10 BULLSHIT!!!

Now we come to end of my story, which although epic in its nature was also unfortunately quite comical of and ending for a 7 star Agent and Martial Arts Master such as myself. Even now I cringe as I recall the circumstances of my demise.

In order to blow off some steam I had accepted a 7 star retrieval mission set in Nepal. It appeared a certain warlord had gotten his hands on a prototype stealth MIRV and was dead set on launching the terrifying weapon on Shanghai.

The nighttime airdrop got me in smoothly enough and I made a perfect landing. Following a cursory check of my equipment I began dismantling the mountain fortress's various defenses and 300 or so guards easily, then made a quick trip to the command center where I easily dealt with the warlord, who by the way was a complete and total ASS who just wouldn't stop with the insults.

I then found the prototype stealth MIRV which had already been programmed and fueled and had already begun its countdown sequence. Unfortunately they had modified the missile removing the external wireless access meaning it now could only be deactivate by direct access.

Leaping 20 feet into the air, my Ki shrouded fingers easily pierced thru the black stealth coated inch thick exterior metal shell of the huge missile as I quickly climbed up 30 feet to the access hatch. Ripping off the hatch, the metal briefly groaned before popping off with a screech.

However just as I reached inside to disengage the launch I suddenly heard the sound of a missiles engine explode behind me. Much to my disbelief it turns out that the mission briefing had apparently been missing a vital piece of information which was that there was actually 2 experimental MIRVs instead of the one I was currently clinging to.

As I gazed up in disbelief at the missile shooting into the morning sky I quickly assessed the situation. First, as all Dragon Corp. stealth missions dictate I had no method of external communication, also the MIRV was designed for perfect stealth and becomes completely undetectable once launched, and finally there was no aircraft within hundreds of miles leaving me with only one option.

Leaning my head right I activated my earpieces music playlist while I pierced my arm and feet deeper into the MIRV's shell, a sigh of exasperation escaped my scowling mouth as I made a split decision, furiously cursing under my breath as I continued moving my hand while changing what I was reaching for.

Bracing myself, I angrily cursed out loud "Ah hell, This is BULLSHIT!!!" as I press a red "LAUNCH" button, the first bars of "Mötley Crüe's - Kickstart My Heart" began to play while simultaneously the missiles engines instantly roared to life, rapidly launching us into the sky.

As I, along with the stealth MIRV went from 0 to Mach 10 in under 60 seconds I increased the amount of Ki covering my body to protect myself from the increasingly growing strong wind currents, chilling cold temperature and the missiles rapid movements as it adjusted it flight path.

Less than a minute later we soon caught up to the other missile with a distance of only a few dozen feet in-between. with one hand pierced into the side of the missile I was riding and the other still within the access hatch I continued my work silently cursing my fate as I set the missiles to change course in 5 minutes towards outer space and the self destruct for 20 minutes.

My work with this missile done I took a deep breath as I gathered my Ki into my limbs, than making a precise estimate launched myself off the missile I was currently on towards the other several dozen feet ahead right when the song roaring in both my ears past the 2 and a half minutes mark growing soft.

I would be lying if I said I was completely unafraid for the moment I was in-between the 2 missiles in mid-air my ass clenched while my heart rate spike. As adrenaline flooded my body everything seemed to slowdown and I held my breath as I neared the missile, my hands slowly reaching out in front of me before with a jolt the music grew loud once again and time resumed its normal speed while I discovered I was safely clinging to the middle of the missile.

With a laugh of joy and disbelief that I had actually just pulled that off I quickly climbed the body of the missile towards the access hatch then with a "RIPP" followed by a "POP" the hatch disappeared while I humming along with the epic end of the song reached inside the hatch and after glancing at my watch set the course to change in 3 minutes towards outer space and the self destruct for 18 minutes.

I had set both missiles with precise calculations to change course just as they reached the middle of the south china seas so I could bail out safely over the huge body of water, whereupon I would go down while they would go up and hopefully safely detonate in the depths of space outside the atmosphere as long as none of the satellites had changes their orbit in the last 10 hours.