17 ??Dammit??

ZAYN

I could see I had said something that upset her. Well, it seemed like whatever I said upset her but this time something was different. There was this raw sadness in her eyes that I had seen glimpses of before but never in such sweltering intensity.

It made me wonder what could've been so horrible that Leia—the strongest girl I knew—not only didn't feel like sharing but was also aggrieved.

So, I decided to change the subject.

"Were you in the UK?"

That wasn't exactly subject changing but whatever. It wasn't like I'd talk about myself. Pfft. That would be . . . weird.

There was a time she'd get my secrets flowing out of my mouth without me even thinking. But now things were different. I'd be a fool not to see how different she was. I was more or less the same but Leia had changed drastically.

"Yeah." She didn't elaborate and I decided not to push her further.

"So, you've been masking your accent this whole time?"

"Mmm,"

"What mmm? Are you really not going to tell me anything?" So much for not pushing her.

"I don't owe you an explanation, Zayn. Plus, you clearly have too many questions and many of them I just can't answer." Her eyes met mine and I saw the weight of her words in those chocolaty irises. "You're a non-mahram."

It was the last part that had me raising my eyebrows. "What, so you won't even talk to me now? Look, I respect the fact that you cover yourself and have somehow gotten religious but you can't just . . . forget about us."

"There is no us," She whispered, breaking my already splintered heart. "There never was."

I gripped the steering wheel tighter, trying to shove down my emotions. But, like always, it seemed like my heart found a way to connect with Leia's and when it was broken by her, I felt overcome with a floodtide of feelings I had no time or energy for.

"We were friends," I managed to get out past the tightness in my throat. "Or are you going to deny that too?"

Her head snapped towards me. "Yes, Zayn. We were friends. But now you and I—we're grown up. I'm sure you don't need me to elaborate."

Dammit, she made a fair point.

I knew she'd never let me in—not with the way she was now. As much as I was heartbroken with her earlier declaration, I was also glad. I didn't want to win her over for some useless bet. If anything happened—when it happened—I wanted it to be real.

In fact, I was going to put aside my ego and tell Anas I couldn't do this. I'd lose. Until now, I hadn't been sure if this version of Leia was worth it. But today, I saw something in her. This was my Leia, for God's sake. Of course, she was worth this and much more. I'd lose for her within the blink of an eye.

God, I sounded like a love-sick puppy.

But I was done playing it cool.

I was done pretending I was angry at her. Done with the fact that I betted just as an excuse to be closer to her, to prove to myself that it meant nothing but winning a car.

I glanced at Leia. Her head was propped against the tinted window and she seemed lost in thought. She was so innocent, so pure. It was like a breath of fresh air.

I broke the silence. "Tell me the directions from the next signal, all right?"

She hummed.

We were both quiet until we reached the town she lived in.

"Drop me here. I'll walk the rest of the way."

I shot her a look.

"It's only a five-minute walk."

"Why are you so nervous? It's not like I'll start stalking you or something."

She blew out a breath and said, "Take a left from here,"

I did as she asked, driving the car to the end of the dimly-lit street and stopping when she said so.

"This is me," She declared, toying with the strap of her purse and scooting toward the door as though she would run out any second.

I took a moment to check out her house. It was a shabby little thing and for a moment, all I could do was stare at it. Concern for her lit up inside me.

"You live here?"

She slowly nodded.

"How—what?" I spluttered.

She lowered her lovely eyes to her hands. "This is why I asked you to let me walk here."

I softened my tone. "I'm just surprised is all. I didn't imagine that you would be . . ." I swallowed the words, afraid I might offend her.

"I'm happy here, okay? These people make me happy. In the past, I had everything at home but this peace, this contentment—I didn't have it. We didn't have it." She corrected with a glance at me.

I remembered how she and I would discuss these things when we were younger. The fact that we had everything, all the wealth people were after, but our homes didn't feel like homes. They were like rotten corpses with decaying matter as parents.

Well, she had both her parents. For me, it was just Dad. A father who never earned that title. A father who never bothered with love but instead preferred fists. To make you stronger, he later used to say.

"Find that peace before it's too late, Zayn," Leia whispered, hand on the door handle. "Don't let the mistakes of your father hold you back from happiness. This world is a temporary place—just remember that."

And then she left. I made sure she was inside the gate before reversing the car and taking off with a heavy head and too many thoughts.