22 ??What had I done???

LEIA

My body froze all over. I couldn't utter a single word. My mind could barely comprehend what was going on. The light from the chandeliers above and around the restaurant was blinding. My ears were ringing with warning bells. One wrong word and things would end up badly.

"What?" I squawked, staring at Ammar as he held both my hands in his and gazed at me with a hopeful expression.

"I've always seen this marriage as permanent, Ley Ley. I talked to my lawyer and he said we could make this legal once you're eighteen. That's only a year from now. One year, babe. You'll be my wife on paper then."

I couldn't believe it. "We agreed to end it after this week. That's what our contract says, Ammar. Five years. As soon as I turn seventeen in a week, this. Is. Over. Do you get it? I'm not a baby anymore. I'm not going to walk into your trap." I stopped and worried my bottom lip. Then whispered, "Are we even married?"

God. We weren't married legally. I had signed the contract when I signed the papers for our nikah—marriage. The contract that stated Ammar and I would only be a couple till I turned seventeen.

"Of course we are. But maybe you misread the contract, babe," He said, getting agitated. "It said when you turn eighteen. That's a year from now. And I said we'll renew the papers after that. You can move in with me. Isn't that exciting?"

Exciting? What was going on?

"Ammar, what are you saying?" My breathing was hitched and I feared my nose might start bleeding again. "I read the contract myself. It said five years."

He was so clearly lying. I was losing it. He wouldn't force me, would he? I couldn't spend the rest of my life with him. I refused to be that weak and powerless person forever. No. Things had to end this week.

They had to.

"So, you're basically calling me a liar?" His face twisted with fury. "Huh? Is that what you're saying? That I would make things up because you're so special? Come on, Leia. You need me."

How could I be so trusting of this guy? How did I ever like him? How could I be so blind so as not to see the real face of the monster?

"I can't believe this. This isn't you, Ammar." I continued to shake my head.

His hands squeezed mine almost painfully. I winced and tried to slide them out. He refused to let go. What if he didn't let go of me? What if he found some way to keep me next to him forever?

"Are you saying you don't want this? That you don't want me?"

I wanted to laugh and cry and tell him that yes, that's exactly it. But for the sake of our time spent together I remained quiet. I gave him a few minutes to see if he'll change his behavior. He didn't.

I called out his name.

"What?" He said.

"I signed that contract, Ammar. I am not blind." I enunciated each word clearly. "You can't force this upon me. Please don't wreck the picture I have of you in my mind; don't let our relationship end like this."

"End?" He said, as if the word felt bitter in his mouth. "I'm not going to let this end. You get it?—"

I stopped listening when my eyes fell to a table some feet away. Oh Lord, no. Zayn and his friends were huddled together, playing cards. As usual, he looked disinterested and wasn't participating. But . . . there were girls too. He was talking to one—Biya, I think her name was.

She made animated gestures while he sat with his arms crossed, clearly annoyed. I felt relieved for a moment.

Until his eyes met mine. They roved over my face and I swear his jaw tightened. What did he see in my expression? All that was visible were my eyes. Could he read my sadness, the pain Ammar had given me? Could he see what Ammar's words were doing to me?

His gaze slid to my front and latched onto where my hands were clasped in Ammar's. He looked murderous. I tried to pry Ammar's hands off but he wouldn't let go. God, Zayn was going to kill him any second.

"Ammar, I want to use the toilet," I quickly blurted out, snatching my hands out of his.

He was—thankfully—oblivious. "Right now? All right, sure."

I all but ran towards the toilet, feeling sick for some reason. I wanted to throw up. How could I end up in this situation? Ammar refused to let go of me and on the other side, Zayn was . . .

I skidded to a halt when a tall frame blocked my way to the toilet.

"Zayn," I breathed out, looking back to see if we were visible to other people. We weren't. "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk," He said and opened the door to the female toilet.

Uh? "You're not going inside. I am."

He stared at me for two heartbeats. Then said, "No."

"No?"

"We're both going. Come on."

Oh God. "This is inappropriate, Zayn. I'm going to call Ammar." I turned a little as though I was literally going to go tell him. Which, by the way, I wasn't.

Zayn gave a dark half-laugh. "Call him, then. It's going to be a bloodbath." He stepped closer and whispered, "And all that blood would be his."

I shivered. It felt good hearing those words. I felt safer, somehow. If Ammar gave me too much trouble I knew Zayn could help me out. Not that I would ever ask for help. Nope. That would require opening up to him which, for the sake of my dignity, I wouldn't do.

"Lee?" His voice softened. As did my heart. Nooo. "Do you trust me?"

Always. I didn't reply but I knew he'd read my eyes.

An amused smile curled his lip and some of the light returned to his eyes. "Just a minute? Is that okay?"

I shook my head. "Zayn, are you following me? Ammar would be very mad."

His jaw ticked as he stared at me with a blank expression. I cowered a little under the intensity of his gaze. "Not that I need to give you explanations, but this is our after-party spot."

I wasn't surprised. This was the most expensive restaurant and I should've known I'd find him here. Things were going badly.

"As for Ammar," he continued, voice unhinged. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't let him live to see tomorrow. I saw the way he was holding your hand, Leia. It was forceful. And you didn't look comfortable sitting there with him while he stared at you like you were his meal. Correct me if I'm wrong."

Zayn. Ugh. My Zayn.

"He's my husband."

He laughed gravely. "That's all you have to say? Trust me, Lee. I know. I can feel it deep in my bones."

He was acting just like old times. And I would fall for him again if he didn't stop. He had to stop.

"I love him," I said.

It was like the mountains around us quavered. Any trace of that beautiful smile fell from his face. God, no. I couldn't hurt him like this. But I had to. We had to stop whatever this was going on between us.

I straightened my shoulders. "Now, if you would excuse me."

This time when I stepped forward to open the toilet's door, he moved aside. He wouldn't look at me. I barely managed to keep in my tears as I closed the door behind me.

What had I done?