30 ??Changing houses???

LEIA

After school, I went back home. The house was silent when I entered. I helped fix lunch for myself and Labeeb, taking off my robe and scarf simultaneously. I was stirring in spices when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I sighed, turning back. "What, Ammar?"

"We're going," he said. "I can't stay in this dirty, rat-infested house for another second."

"Then leave," I went back to pinching out pepper and adding as much as I saw fit. It was something Pakistanis had mastered. We didn't measure out things. It was instinctual. "I like my house just fine."

Lie. I was grateful to have a place to live but I didn't necessarily like it. Growing up in a mansion and then having this . . . It was definitely difficult. But God had granted me a much better family and much more serenity in my heart.

"Don't turn your back to me," he warned harshly, roughly seizing my elbow and jerking me towards himself. "I said we're leaving. Go change. I've found a rental house for us."

"You'll take me away from my parents now?" I hated the raw emotion in my voice. Hated hating him so much.

This was my only refuge away from his atrocity. If I had to live alone with him...

"Come now, stop looking at me like that. It's not like we've never lived alone before." Something ugly gleamed in his eyes. It had me looking away. "Don't worry. I'll find us a home soon enough. This would just be temporary."

"We're getting divorced in a few days, Ammar," I tried to keep my tone less irritated. "I don't think it's appropriate to live alone now. In fact, I'll explain everything to my parents and you can stay with Labeeb till—AH!"

"Listen to me now, Leia," he glared at me. "We're not done until I say we're done. This marriage will not be over. Ever. Now wipe away your tears like a good girl and go get ready."

He was still not taking it seriously.

I pulled away the cuffs of my sleeves, making sure nobody was in sight. "Do you see these Ammar?"

He winced, looking away. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"You mean what's been happening for the past five years of my life won't happen again? Like what happened last night won't happen again?"

I took a deep breath, allowing the shudders to take over. Should I tell him about...? I closed my eyes. No. He had no right to know. He hadn't earned it.

If he knew, he wouldn't let me go and I had vowed to leave him. Very soon. Zayn's departing words to me had been, "I'll pull you out of this, Leia. You just have to be a little more patient". Then he'd offered his place for me to stay in. Of course, I'd said no.

Now I was regretting my decision very much.

Actually, no. I wasn't.

God, what was going through my mind?

Well, never mind. I knew the answer to that. My brain had switched off. I couldn't allow myself to think about the events of today. Too many things had happened. I couldn't bear to think about them.

My mind hadn't processed them. How did I feel about them? I really wasn't even sure.

Looking back at Ammar, I said, "Give me time to think about it. Let me talk to my parents."

He smiled this slick, dirty smile. The feeling of loathing inside me intensified. "Think about it, sure. But the other part has already been done. Your parents agreed. They can't stop me from taking my wife, now, can they?"

I hoped Dad would've at least put up a little bit of a fight. He was fierce in his protectiveness towards me but he rarely ever expressed it. At that moment, I prayed for someone who wasn't puny enough to be able to do anything for me. Was I really that repulsive that no person truly loved me?

I could feel the tears gathering behind my eyes so I made an excuse and swiftly padded out of the kitchen. There was still time until lunch would be prepared. I went to my room and locked the door. For a second, I kept my hands placed against the wood, staring blindly.