After our encounter at the hospital, I heard from Aunty Sandra that the two men and others came to visit and I don't have the heart to face them, the guilt welling up in my heart can't take it anymore and I don't think I can face Sage right now.

Leaning back in my chair I look at the papers on my desk and sigh, work doesn't really help get my mind of this and I thought being distracted would help.

I haven't seen Layla since she came to the hospital but I was too out of it when I found out that Sage was in theatre. She was by my side and I don't remember when she left. She's been calling me and texting me but I haven't bothered answering, not only her but everyone else too.

Closing my eyes the memories of us pop into mind. Jarod words 'Sage loved you with all his heart and you crushed it like it was nothing. I know what you did, you fucking proposed to that girl' play in my mind on repeat, so I never proposed to her he would have been here in my office sitting across from me grinning and talking about how the inside of an engine turns him on and he would be groaning in pleasure while flipping through a car magazine as if it is the playboy magazine.

"Look, look, Ethan, the mags on this Audi A5 is shining, ahh~ what I wouldn't do to have my semen all over it, I really wish that robots were made into humans so that I could shove my dick up their pipes and climax in them and they would give birth to my cyborg babies," he says while flipping through the magazine and squeezing his legs keeping himself from having an orgasm.

Rolling my eyes I smile, "When was the last time you got laid?"

He looks up at me with a soft smile, "Ethan, you should know this already but I'm waiting to have sex with the love of my life and no one else… I don't know why you and everyone think I'm whoring around when I'm actually saving my virginity."

"I really wouldn't know, you're like a horny bunny around me and at clubs, you go off with woman so it's hard to believe that you're a virgin," I say making him look at me with hurtful eyes that sting my heart.

He plays the hurtful look off by rolling his eyes, "You're my best friend, and you should believe me."

"But I don't!" I say making him sigh.

"Well then baby boy, I should just let you fuck me so you can feel how tight I am and see how inexperienced I am in bed," he says with a serious look in his eyes.

My heart jumps to my throat as we have a staring competition. He slowly gets up and walks around my desk, straddling me he leans down and kisses my nose with a lustful look in his eyes that make me drown in them. I feel him grinding against me making me moan.

Hooking his finger under my chin he leans his head down. His lips a breath away from mine; closing my eyes I gulp while my hands drop from my desk to his waist.

Sliding his tongue across my bottom lip, he kisses my lips and pecks my cheek moving down slowly to my neck, kissing down my neck and licking up my neck while nipping it here and there making shivers run through my body.

I moan under him making him smirk against my neck. Kissing his way to my ear he sucks my ear lobe into his mouth making me whimper. Inserting his wet tongue into my ear his licks and sucks it while softly biting my ear.

Kissing his way to my eye, he sticks out his tongue and licks the mole beside my eye and kisses it. Kissing the two moles under my eye.

Kissing my forehead and kissing my nose he leans slightly kissing my right eye so it doesn't feel left out and goes to kiss my lips.

Opening my mouth I let him insert his tongue. Our tongues dance to the same rhythm his hips move to that make my crotch leak.

"Mr Demetri, Layla's here to see you," my secretary says through the intercom. Sage's body gets off me as he sighs. He walks behind me not looking into my eyes but I know, he has that disgusted look in his eyes whenever we got interrupted.

Opening my eyes I feel my fingers caress my lips that Sage use to randomly attack whenever we were alone. Sighing I just realized that it was most probably because he loved me.

I'm such an idiot for not realizing it back then. I always wonder why he kissed me but never asked him. I knew it wasn't normal for friends to kiss the way we did but I enjoyed the taste of his mouth that's why I left him to do it – sometimes I wanted more too but I would never ask.

There were those days when I wanted to initiate the kiss first but didn't know how to so I never did.

Sage was my first kiss. We tried it out after catching our teacher and another teacher kissing in the classroom.

We were pretty bad at it and I never felt disgusted by it. We continued kissing and eventually got good at it but what I didn't expect was in high school our kisses got passionate and it turned us both on. Sage always had this dilated look in his eyes as if he was somewhere else and he seemed to enjoy it which made me enjoy it too but as we got older and girls started asking me out we'd stop kissing because Sage would be angry at me for no reason – well, later on, I found out that he hated the girls I dated.

I never put the puzzle pieces together but now… I know why – the one he loved, me, was dating others instead of him.

"Mr Demetri, your fiancé is here to see you," comes through the intercom.

I sit up, "Send her through," I say pressing the button. Letting go I quickly wipe my tears away and fix my vest.

She walks into the office with a cautious smile but it soon turns to a frown when she looks at me. I get up and she walks over giving me a hug. My body suddenly starts shivering as Sages hate-filled eyes pop into my mind.

Pulling away from her I look back and sit down leaving her standing there. After a moment she walks to the chairs and sits opposite me in the visitor's chair.

Placing her hands on the desk she reaches for mine but I subconsciously pull back placing my hands on my lap. I look up at her and see her stunned expression – I know this is wrong but it's one way to put distance between us.

She looks at me with watery eyes and quickly wipes them away. Clearing her throat she asks, "Ethan darling, why are you at work when you don't feel well?"

Shrugging I put my hands back on the desk and pull myself forward, rubbing the back of my neck I sigh, "I can't stay at the hospital, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind and I can't stay at home because I don't want to be alone."

"Have you told your parents, why don't you stay with them, you won't be alone."

"I've thought about it but I don't want to be around them, I don't know, I'm stressed and I don't know if Sage will make it, I feel so uncomfortable now that he isn't around me and it makes me sick to my stomach that he is just lying there… I won't be able to see those blue eyes of his again… I won't be able to hear his voice again…" I say while gripping fistfuls of my hair and break out into sobs.

Her arms wrap around me. I feel myself lean into her as I cry my heart out. Why can't it be me that's in his position, I wish I could trade places with him – I don't want to lose him, I don't want to lose my best friend.

*

My phone rings waking me up. Grabbing the damn noise maker I pull it to my ear, "Hello?" I answer without looking at the caller ID.

"E-e-e-e-t-t-than," I frightened and horsed voice comes through. My heart tightens, "Sage?" I ask quickly getting up.

"Sage, I'm coming, wait for me!" I order into the phone while slipping into the clothes.