43 Memories

"...And she's just going to... Look like that? Can't you fix it?"

Li Mei stared at the ceiling of a hospital room, her vision blurred and unfocused. She heard her mother's tearful and pitiful voice in the hall, whispering in hushed tones to the doctor in charge of her care.

Fake.

So fake.

Everything she'd been through, everything she did to survive and escape that filthy bastard...

Her pale lips twisted into a mockery of a smile as she raised one trembling hand to touch the bandages on her face.

Pain.

But she was used to pain by now, wasn't she? She registered its existence and moved on with her thoughts, not even bothering to make a noise.

Her mother entered the room.

A beautiful woman, with a flawless face as though it were sculpted from porcelain by the world's finest artisan. Such a woman stared with disdain at the teenager on the hospital bed, plump pink lips barely curled into a faint sneer. Disgust flashed in her dark phoenix eyes.

They stared at each other in silence. Li Mei's eyes remained disinterested and calm, showing no sign of the pain tormenting her slender body. She knew better than to expect anything from her mother. Any warmth or kindness.

Indeed, when the woman's plump lips shifted from a sneer to a smile, Li Mei already knew what was coming.

Chang Yezi already told her. As disgusting and twisted as that man was, he'd never lie to her.

Not Li Mei, his precious treasure. His protege. Xiao Hua he called her, Little Blossom.

No. Chang Yezi wouldn't lie to her. And he had the evidence to back up his claims, anyway.

"You survived," Liu Biyu said softly, approaching the bed. Li Mei kept the emergency alert button in the palm of her hand, ready to call for a nurse just in case. "What a pity... It would have been easier for you otherwise."

"I see we're dropping pretense?" Li Mei scoffed, her words slurred by the pain medication pumping in her veins. "Mother dearest."

Once upon a time, she believed her mother loved her. Once upon a time, Liu Biyu was a kind and doting mother who spoiled her adorable daughter.

Until her daughter got older. And prettier. Until her daughter became everyone's favorite, even receiving the unnatural attention and love of her own father. He refused Liu Biyu's many attempts to marry off their daughter, insisting on keeping her in their home. Taking her with him on business trips while his wife stayed behind to manage the household.

Liu Biyu kept up her act of a doting mother, but her intent changed: drag the daughter down with poisoned honey words, sweet to the ear but laden with hidden danger.

Too bad Li Mei was clever and picked up on hostility right away. She noticed her mother's shift in attitude, her father's strange and often uncomfortable favoritism. But Li Mei played oblivious, went along with their act for as long as she continued to reap benefits from her status while keeping herself relatively safe. Avoiding her father's advances and her mother's plots, dancing around situations with all the grace and elegance of a professional ballet diva.

For over a year she planned her escape with meticulous care, wary of her father's growing impatience and boldness, but too bad Liu Biyu made her move first.

Sharp light flashed across Liu Biyu's eyes, and she leaned forward to grip her daughter's arm. "Wretched, ungrateful bitch!" She hissed, spitting words like venom from the fangs of a snake, only to calm herself when she saw the mocking smile on her daughter's bandaged face. Liu Biyu composed herself, removing a handkerchief from her purse and placing it on the seat of a chair before sitting down. As though afraid the hospital would infect her. "You will be removed from the family registry in six months, once the news has died down and legal affairs are concluded. A generous lump sum far greater than you deserve will be deposited in your account as long as you behave yourself until then, your hospital fees will be paid in full, and then you'll be on your own. You will have nothing to do with the Li family ever again."

"Oh?" Li Mei raised her eyebrows, ignoring the sharp pain it caused. "Couldn't talk him out of the money, I see. Your charm really isn't anything special."

Anger churned in Liu Biyu's belly, but she stamped it down. She already won and this was the last time she'd ever have to see the wretched child again, there was no point getting angry at the thrashing of a dying beast. Instead, she wore an expression of triumph and tilted up her chin. "You've become a household name, aren't you proud? The entire country knows your name. Everyone knows what a revolting disgrace you are!

"The money will run out soon enough. Then you'll live in the squalid gutters where ungrateful filth like you belongs. And you don't have your looks to fall back on anymore! But don't worry, I hear poor men aren't picky. Many of them would be quite excited to taste used and broken goods like you."

Li Mei narrowed her eyes. Used goods? Taking her physical condition into account she could understand the 'broken' part, but 'used'...

Ah.

She was held captive by that psychopath for so long, of course everyone would assume...

Li Mei sighed, then curled her lips into a gentle smile. How funny. She was more in danger - in that regard at least - from her own blood-related father than she was from a psychopathic serial killer. "Are you done gloating? Your voice is giving me a headache."

Liu Biyu snorted and stood, brushing invisible dust off her skirt. Her beautiful face had a calm, benign expression as she glanced at the child on the hospital bed without any warmth in her eyes. "I'll be living happily and comfortably in the Li family estate. I will give your father a son soon and my position will be secured. You'll be forgotten."

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"So will you, once your supposed son takes your place as his favorite," Li Mei laughed. "Just like I did!"

PA!

Liu Biyu slapped the injured girl with as much force as she could muster. Li Mei hit the emergency button, ears ringing as blood dripped down her neck from the gouges Liu Biyu's nail carved in her cheek. She licked her lips, still smiling at the enraged beauty trembling with unrestrained fury at her bedside.

"You are nothing!" Liu Biyu hissed through her teeth.

"Still better than you," Li Mei whispered.

Before Liu Biyu could respond, several nurses rushed in to check the patient's condition. Liu Biyu left the room without another word before she could be questioned about the fresh marks on Li Mei's cheeks.

...

Li Mei sighed, staring into empty space as she sat in her mountaintop garden. The research facility looked so much like a hospital that old ugly memories rose to the surface in response once she was somewhere safe again. She managed not to suffer flashbacks while her life was in danger, but once it was quiet again...

How long had it been since she remembered what happened with such detail? Or even acknowledged what things were like back then?

She struggled so hard to break free from her family in every way. Moving to a different country, living in a small town, getting a plain and boring job and just living a casual life. No longer forced to be a wealthy little socialite debutante, hiding pain and secrets behind a fake smile.

Li Mei forced herself to move on. She didn't dwell on what she lost, and only looked forward to the life she wanted. Simple, comfortable, filled with luxury she earned with her own two hands.

And if she had nightmares or awoke in tears, she'd scrub in the shower until her skin was red and comfort herself with junk food until morning, when warm morning sunlight chased away the shame that bubbled to the surface during the darkest parts of the night.

During the day, it was so easy to pretend it never happened. And eventually the nightmares stopped. Memories faded. She didn't forget, she could never forget.

But she could heal. She could be strong. Had to be strong. Because there was no one to help her if she crumbled to pieces.

Li Mei refused to give them the satisfaction.

And with everything that happened since taking over 44's body, she really didn't see a need to delve into the past and bring up things that would never matter again.

Yet, the research facility... And those medical tools, like the ones Chang Yezi used... Hana's body, so battered and broken with those big eyes full of despair and resignation.

Li Mei shuddered.

Too much. Too familiar.

That empty blank stare...

Bao laid his head on her lap, watching her with concerned eyes. Her condition was so strange ever since she returned, and he was worried.

"Hey Bao, can you keep another secret?" Li Mei asked, tousling the fur between his short stubby antlers. When the Fera snorted his assent, she smiled and leaned close to his big bat-like ears. "I have memories of another life."

Bao's eyes opened wide, sparkling with curiosity.

"Really! A whole life. Some of them are pretty bad memories. Not all of them, but... Enough to still make me sad even now. And I... I don't really know what to do when I'm sad like this. It just hurts." Li Mei clenched her hand into a fist and pressed it to her heart. "I'm used to physical pain, but this kind of pain... It's really the worst, isn't it?"

Bao snorted again. He closed his four eyes and sat up, leaning against Li Mei and resting his head on her shoulder. He pretended not to notice when droplets of water fell on his body, warm and bitter tears from the shaking girl trying so hard not to let them fall.

For the first time in his life, the young Fera really wished he could speak.