Chapter 144: broken

Cassius POV

"If you love someone else, and married to someone else, what would you choose? To stay bound in a cage or to leave everything and stay with the one you love" I asked as i remembered the way they were hugging each other in the open, she even hid herself and walked out of the theatre, other may not recognised her but i could even differentiate her from the crowd of thousands just by looking at her back, i drank the whole glass, the bitter fluid in my mouth, slowly passed by in my body making me further melancholic.

When Elizabeth had cheated on me, I was angry, annoyed, full of rage, but I had handled myself but this time, it felt like I was broke beyond repair.

"I would rather prefer leaving your highness.'' she replied, taking another sip.

'How strange it is, I always plan about leaving her, taking my revenge but whenever she tried to leave me and chose others over me I feel broken and betrayed, we both knew that we are married only for name, yet when she accepted that she wanted to be free from this golden cage I still felt abandoned.'.

I closed my eyes and nodded, i did not have the courage to see her happy expression, 

"Do you want to discuss more about this matter, your highness?" she asked, without even wasting a second, as if she was waiting for this moment for a long time.

I did not reply, but my grip on the flute tightened, deep in my heart I was wishing that she would deny, even if it's for Killian, she would decide to stay, but who was I to blame her, I was the one who had chosen this loneliness for me.

These roses, these candles, Killian had done a hard work in making it special, I was sure Ian must have hinted to him before going, how heartbroken he would be when he would come to know that she was leaving.

I finally opened my eyes, but the happiness i was expecting wasn't there, she was lost just like me, looking at the lake, i could see raw pain in her eyes, and before i could think, i was already waiting for her hand standing in front of her, so what if she denied, at least there would not be a regret of not asking even once.

"Mari, would you like to have a dance." I asked and she nodded as she gave her hand to me, had I lost her in my madness to take revenge, in my distrust after the betrayal or was she never mine since the start!

I took the flute and drank it again in a single gulp, as the music started in the background, she finally opened her eyes, they were clear, was I hallucinating a moment ago, like always have I been delusional that someone could love me, why would they! I was nothing but a broken piece of chess, played and used all my life.

I blinked to control the pain i was feeling, and smiled at her, her dark hair were still wet, its tendrils were dancing with the air, and tickling her neck, momentarily i felt a twitch to twirl them around, the creamy skin of her back, peeked out whenever her hairs move.

i brought her closer than necessary and she put her head on my chest, my heartbeat turned low as i realised, this was the first and maybe the last time when we would be dancing together.

I gathered the courage to beg her to not leave me, if possible stay, i knew it was being selfish, but i just could not, had not the courage to let her go, 

I opened my mouth to plead but heard her saying….

"Would you free me from this cage, Cassius?" she asked and my grip on her waist tightened, i took a turn suddenly and she had to hold me tight to maintain her balance. I held her waist and swept her above the floor, there was no space between our bodies yet it felt she was beyond my reach, and drifting farther away, her eyes met mine and i smiled, wasn't that my aim since start, to keep her away, because i could give her nothing except the pain.

No, I could not continue to see in her eyes, my emotions were on the verge of breaking me apart. I hugged her close, seeking all the warmth I could have, like a deprived person, I was. i put my chin in the crook of her neck, it would have been a perfect moment, if it would not have been the last, gulping the lump formed in my throat, I slowly whispered in her ears, 

"I will" I felt all the strength loosen me when she nodded.

"That's good." she whispered back and I twirled her, so that I could feel the cold air cutting my body instead of her soft touches and warm breath on my chest.

Was it the wine or was it my pain? I felt my senses becoming blurred, even the music in the background felt distant to me as I continued to waltz with her on the beats, afraid that she would deny me any moment to touch her again.

"Mari, i apologise for everything i did to hurt you," i whispered, though she deserved to know much more, but now it did not matter since she was leaving, i hungrily kept her in my warms to seek the warmth a bit more, when was the last time someone had hugged me, though i knew this touch was not for me, this softness, this care was nothing but a moment of our life, but strangely, I felt the connection as if she was feeling the same pain as I was.

"Will an apology be enough, Cassius. After everything, will it be?" she asked as she tried to move but i was sure there were tears in my eyes, which i couldn't let her see, so i put my hand on her back, it stopped her from leaving my arms, my hands touching her bare back and her breath hitched.

"I don't know, but an apology is all I have." I whispered again in her ears, my lips touching her ears when I spoke. I was losing, i knew, she was leaving i knew, yet this moment was something i would always remember in my heart.

"Mari," my voice was barely audible, but I had to ask, just once, even if she would deny.

"would you stay with me a few more months before going?" my voice was pleading, and she shivered, i waited for eternity for her reply, thinking immeasurable scenarios.

"Why?" was just she asked, could i say i could not bear to leave her, not now, i need some time to make the things right, so at least i could free her respectfully and she could have the right to keep her head held high. i

"For the sake of Killian, please stay a few more months, I promise I will free you, I will fulfill your every wish, I promise" i repeated again and again, my voice was  so pleading, so desperate that she nodded, filling me from hope once again, my voice was so wet that a "Thank you"' was all i said.

***********

[hey readers, as you have all seen the writing competition spirit awards are here, and i was thinking to participate in it too. I have a few ideas, I wanted to share and ask your opinion about it. So would you please be kind enough, to see the auxiliary chapter and advice me which historical romance would you like to read, i can not share  here as it will increase the cost of the chapter, thank you]