Chapter 148: Don't go

Even if it was a dream it was too late...

"Because I didn't want to leave you alone, I would have been worried about you all night," he said with such tenderness as his hand that was on my waist moved to my cheek, and he cupped them in his palms. I could feel she was worried but why! What did it have to do with him now, what if I told him, that it was all because of his lover only!

I did not say a word, I had nothing to say, all this tenderness, this care, this worry, what did it mean! Was it guilt? Was it sympathy, I did not want to know, but then I did not want to take it as affection too.

"You are still tired, try to sleep again, Mari," he said taking his hand away from my cheeks, and I took a breath of relief, but in the next moment, his hands touched my hairs, as he slowly started running a hand in them, patting me in between like my mother used to do when I was young.

It felt so better, so relaxing, my eyes turned heavy again.

"I should not be here '' I whispered, haven't we lost the right to sleep together last night?

What an irony, when I was her wife, he never preferred to sleep with me, and now when he was the one who wanted to spend his life with someone I was in his arms.

"I know, I would apologise to you later, but for now, try to sleep," he said with such warmth and softness that I nodded without even thinking.

Let it go, I would fight with him once I gained my energy and strength back. I drifted to sleep when I felt his chest touching me, his warmth made me feel secure, and for once cared.

************

Cassius POV

Thank goodness that she slept again, otherwise, I would not have been able to behave normally for a long time. My heart was throbbing so fast when she pinched me, I had never thought that just a single touch of her would make me shiver. It was like a bolt of electricity had hit my body. I wanted to pin her on the bed and tell her the result of her actions, but then she would have only raised her hand again, I chuckled when I remembered how daring she was!

It took all my strength to behave normally when she was this close to me, that her breaths were touching my body, she had been here in this bed for a whole year before, but we had never shared this proximity.

Now I was not able to decide that calling Killian to share the bed was a good idea or a foolish one. If he would not have been here, we would have been sleeping on the corners like always. 

This proximity was like sweet torture. My hands were on her waist all the time and her head was on my chest. I could hear her heart beating and her deep breath even tickling my skin. My body was burning with all the touches, yet I knew this was just a coincidence, a sweet yet painful coincidence. The love in her heart had died down a long time ago and someone else had taken its place.

I was too late in knocking her heart, now all I could do was cherish this moment! seeping the warmth in her body as a part of me for her to remember.

The way we were sleeping together made it feel like we were a small happy family.

Her smooth soft skin made me unable to sleep, yet I felt intoxicated, with the touch. I closed my eyes as I let my sense of touch work better for me. I knew that she was asleep when she started snuggling with me. She must be moving toward the warmth, as both Killian and she had kicked and thrown the blankets long ago.

I shook my head at the habits they were sharing these days. I tried to move to pick up the blanket when her hold on my waist tightened.

"Dont go" she whispered and I was stunned, I looked back and sighed when I saw she was sleeping, I laid back as she took hold of my robe, moving it further towards her.

I knew she was surely going to blame me for all this, but how good it had been if she had said that to me.

Was she imagining me as someone else! I shook my head to get rid of all those thoughts, even if she was imagining me as someone else, I was the first one to abandon her, I was the one who had announced that I would never love her back, so I could not blame her. What's the benefit of becoming that kind of husband, who did not love their wife, yet expect them to be loyal and devoted all their life.

The one whom I devoted my life to, was not mine in the end, how could I expect someone else to be so.

But then the way she was holding me and asking me to not go, still had a strong effect on me, I laid back and took the bell from the side table and shook it.

Her face furrowed listening to the noise, so I gently patted her back, only then did I remember her back was bare. I immediately took my hand back, I did not want to cross, that would make me guiltier.

"Your highness" greeted Clara entering.

"Take the blanket and cover both of them."

"Yes, your highness"

She covered them with blanks and bowed, then left the room.

I looked at her who was snuggled to me and closed my eyes, taking her further in my embrace.

"I will make sure you will get your share of happiness, Marianne," I murmured as she smiled in her sleep.