Chapter 172: riding horse

"Your highness, I am sure your suggestions would be very appreciated by father. Please do visit home, mother would also be very happy to meet Killian. She did not get time to spend with him in the party as he was the one hosting the function with her highness." she added, and it felt like they were having a war of words rather than exchanging pleasantries. 

I was so happy to spend the day with Killian and riding horses. I looked at the sun that was turning brighter every moment and my face hardened.

"Since your highness is busy in the conversation with lady Isabella, me and Killian would start the riding first," with that I held his hand and moved towards the horse.

First I did not want him to listen and sympathise with Isabella. Secondly, I did not feel the need to listen to their conversation since I knew that he hated her as much as i. But what was the reason why he hated her! I had to find a way to know more, there were still secrets hidden by that man.

"Mother, why was aunt Isabella banished?" he asked so softly as if he was the one who was hurt.

It felt bad to hurt a boy, but as much as i wanted him to enjoy his life like a child, i also wanted him to stay away with people, 

"Killian, tell me, if you are banished from a place, would be able to enter there anytime you want.'' I asked and he shook his head and then his brows furrowed.

I smiled and ruffled his hair, "not every word could be trusted my son, I learnt this lesson very late, but you don't have to follow my mistakes. Have you ever felt that i wanted to hurt you these days or lying to you, and your father, though he is a bit harsh, rude, insensitive, ignorant of emotions and.."

"Mother, we were not discussing father's incompetencies, right?" he asked, rubbing my hand and I sighed, the man was hiding so much from me making me flare more.

"Yes, i apologise, for being carried away. But i want you to test people before trusting them." I replied and he looked bewildered at me.

"They all are family, mother," he said, and I sighed.

"Why don't you go and meet them and then disparage me or your father, your well wisher would stop you from doing that. And even guides you do respect your family but the one who wanted to take advantage of your innocence would support everything you say to flatter you further. Then you can see the difference. And if you still want to be sure, do that with a couple of people, so that you can be sure." i tried to reason, even if he would not believe me for now. I wanted him to ponder over this later.

"I think I want to further listen to their conversation mother," he replied after a pause and I could only let him go. It made me realise he was close to me, but so with them. But since Cassius was there, I was sure he would protect his son, with that thought I moved alone, with my maids.

The sunlight that shined vertically felt warm. I smiled after having not done it for a long time and enjoyed the comfort. When was the last time I had felt this feeling? After being reborn, I had always been busy plotting and planning to save myself, my life had turned into a prickly path, but whether it was because of divorce and knowing that Isabella would not be Killian's mother, or I was just feeling suffocated about being here for now, after a long absence, i felt like i want to forget everything else and live in the moment.

"I think you can use this horse, Your highness."

The stable boy brought over a white horse from somewhere with a content look. The pure white mane felt beautiful. I smiled at him and asked, "I don't know much about horses, but it seems like a great horse. What's the name?"

"The chief worker said it was 'Sally'. The lineage is also very good." he replied with a shy smile

"Is that so?" 

I carefully climbed onto the horse's back, with an excited expression. I was unstable with my body for a short moment, but then I quickly grasped the reins.

Was it because it hadn't been long before the last time I had ridden with this body? It was surprisingly not awkward. I  told everyone with a slightly excited look.

"I will go alone." I announced as I looked at the bunch of knights and maids standing around.

"Alone? Your highness, it is dangerous." their voices had fear, not for me but to get dismissed the way things were going these days.

Of course, they were worried, as I fell ill last time I went alone.. However, I smiled as if to show I was okay and placated the worries.

"I want to ride alone as it's been a long time. I am not such a novice that I will fall off the horse, so you don't have to worry.

"… "

Knights gave me a helpless look. It was not that I did not understand the decorums and worries. Its just i was always lived surrounded by servants and maids, so I needed my own time, if i stayed there i would just burst out on someone, when i came to know that we both dislike Isabella, i had thought things would improve, but no we were still at the same point, that i was feeling hatred towards being noble for the first time in my life.

But knights were still worried. Eventually, their head asked for a promise with a voice of defeat.

"Your highness, then you must stay in the palace, why don't you ride in the designated path for horse riding."

"I understand. Do not worry." i replied with and assuring smile but there was no chance did i stay here, i was feeling suffocated, and want to enjoy the warmth far away from here, I carefully started her horse and began to set out.