Chapter 314: Grow old and live forever

"There's icing on your face, Cassius," I told him but the man just raised a brow. "Let me wipe it off for you." 

"I will clean it myself." he said as he took the cloth from the counter and cleaned his face.

He silently cut the cake and passed a big piece to me and took a piece for himself. He was once again looking very serious, and here I thought that his mood was better now.

I took a small piece in the fork and tasted, it was just as i had thought, perfect, "the cake is delicious, Cassius. It is even better than what I baked last time.`` I completed it and a proud smile bloomed on his lips.

"It is because we both did it together as a team, '' he said and I nodded.

'If only we could work as a team in every matter then the results would have been perfect'

We both ate in silence once again, when i said, "ummm, i was not comparing you with anyone. I apologise if you felt hurt because I took Damien's name '' I said seriously and he blinked.

He was not expecting me to apologise but it was necessary.

"I should not have taken things that seriously. You must have been so busy that you didn't even find time to eat. If I was in that urgency, I should have come to you and asked for the letters again. So I apologise, your highness ``I continued and he finally moved.

"People often speak truth in anger, Marianne. You must have felt that if I would not be able to handle you then you would ask Damien and he would be able to help you, right?" he asked and I pursed my lips.

He became silent again as we continued to eat cake. I wanted to explain to him that though I would have taken Damien's help, that did not mean he was more important to me, but I did not know how!

"I am done." he said as he took his plate and put it in the sink and I followed. 

"What about the rest of the cake?" he asked 

"Let it be here, it is almost morning. Jamie and Killian would be happy if they get a share too.`` I said with a smile as I imagined their happy faces.

He was looking reluctant yet he nodded, and we both went back into the bedroom. He went to change the clothes and wash his face and I laid on the bed once again.

He came silently and took his place but the silence was making me deaf.

"Are you still angry?" I asked. My voice sounded a little hesitant.

Cassius, who was staring at the ceiling, lifted his arm and covered his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I don't know…" he mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I –"

"No," he cut me off as he turned and looked at me. He suddenly pulled me closer to him until our bodies shared each other's warmth. 

"I think I'm just angry with myself right now. So forget about it and get some rest."

"Why? Is it because you couldn't control yourself?"

Cassius fell silent and then I felt him let out a small sigh.

"Marianne… I think… next time… when you see me starting to get angry, it's better for you to stay away from me. Or at least try to maintain a distance," he said in a guilt filled voice.

I was surprised. I attempted to lift my head to look at him but Cassius he turned his face to another side as if he didn't want me to see his face.

"I told you… i am just like this, if you come close you will see the darker side of me. Who knows what I'd do to you next time."

I shook my head at his self depreciating remarks. This was the first time Cassius talked to me this way. His voice, his words and the way he was talking about himself it was all just filled with pain.

The instant I saw his eyes; I couldn't help but fall in a daze. It was like the walls he always had around him was finally breaking in his eyes and there he was inside them. i could finally see the vulnerable and lonesome Cassius behind the walls.

I never saw him make such a soft expression before. His hard and cold, angry face had gone and replaced by the a kid who was left alone by the world. for a moment his expressions even resembled Killian.

The expression he had on his face at that moment was enough to melt inside my heart and mind and I couldn't speak. I felt like I didn't want to blink because I was afraid that once I did, his face would become hard and cold again. I wanted to just watch him like this, even if this lifetime had passed like this, i would not feel any remorse.

"would you stop staring like that and sleep." he blinked and looked at me and his expressions were back to normal. his eyes were blank and cold again as if everything was my figment of imagination.

i have always loved this man, but our actions towards each other have drifted us apart, that i have thought we were not possible together anymore. but now that we have started talking, it felt like he needed more love and care than me. he looked like an abondoned puppy to me many times.

"Cassius, I have many friends who are closer to my heart. I can trust them for my life. They have helped me in every course of my life selflessly and if I got a chance I would do the same for them. I love them a lot. 

But they are friends, somewhere they would have their family soon and these days would never return. But Killian and…. You.. You are my family with whom I will grow old and live forever. So there is no place for comparison at all.'' I told him honestly and then closed my eyes without waiting for his reply.