Chapter 37 - Cuddling

Some people say that a person dreams what they think of as so proven by Ji Yao who dreamt about the most clingy Nocru on earth. In just a space of a few hours, Rui Fei had influenced him so much that he left an impression so deep to the point of appearing in his dreams.

This is why he woke up with a start calling out Rui Fei's name which in turn woke up the boy cosied up on the chaise. Thus the conversation mentioned earlier about who kicked who off the bed and that the other was lucky he didn't get kicked out of the cabin.

Ji Yao lay back down and tried to go back to sleep again but it seemed the bogeyman a.k.a. nightmare king wouldn't let him off. After dreaming about Rui Fei for the nth time, Ji Yao finally gave up on sleeping altogether. He sat up straight in the dark cabin with the only source of light coming from the moonlight outside the window.

Looking outside all he could see was the vast calm sea on all sides. The rippling waves were surprisingly soothing to his soul that was in turmoil. Change was his worst enemy and in just a few hours his usual routine had been disrupted like a pebble disturbs a calm lake.

That pebble was Rui Fei and now Ji Yao was forced to adapt. His gaze shifted to the pebble sleeping peacefully on the chaise and couldn't help but feel it would be easy for him to adapt if Rui Fei was like this all the time.

Ji Yao sighed knowing how utterly ridiculous that idea was. He decided to take a walk on deck and feel the cool sea breeze on his face. But whilst putting on his shoes the peaceful Rui Fei suddenly turned frantic.

He wasn't yelling something or trying to struggle like most people would do when having nightmares. Instead, he was letting out a low whimper like a wounded animal.

At first, Ji Yao thought he was hearing things but as he moved closer he was proven wrong. Not only was Rui Fei crying he was softly calling out to his mother in a murmur.

This Ji Yao could relate to. When he was younger he would often cry for his mother especially when he saw other kids with theirs. Ji Wen who had lost his wife was going through a tough time so he had no patience to tend to Ji Yao as he lacked the mental capacity to handle his own emotions.

So Ji Yao was comforted by the aunt that took care of him but how could it compare to

his own parents soothing the turbulence in his heart. To make matters worse he also kept dreaming about her but in his dreams, she was faceless while calling out to him.

It was because of this reason that he snuck into his father's bedroom when he was five thinking he could get some comfort from Ji Wen.

But reality was too cruel. His father who he hadn't seen for over a month was dead drunk holding his ex-wife's pendant in his hands. The entire room was a mess like a tornado had swept past the inner courtyard but only wreaked havoc in this room. 

Seeing his father in this state of turmoil little Yao couldn't help but cry attracting his father's attention. But instead of Ji Wen comforting him he yelled at him in these exact words, "What are you crying for? You can cry but you should cry in private! How would it look if both Ji men run around the island crying over a treacherous woman,  huh? Will we still have any face left? It's not your fault she left so why are you crying for an undeserving person?"

The five-year-old Ji Yao wiped his tears and vowed to not cry for a person who chose to abandon him. He refused to cry for a person who left him to fend for himself. From then on Ji Yao never cried though it hurt sometimes knowing he couldn't get her love but he never shed a single tear.

Looking at Rui Fei it was difficult at times to remember that he was only sixteen. Maybe it was the confidence, the height or the way he carried himself that made Ji Yao forget Rui Fei was younger than him. It was when he was curled up like this that Ji Yao remembered he was a kid who lived fourteen years of his life in a cage and two years in the outside world.

Feeling sympathetic he walked over and called his name to wake him up. "Rui Fei... Rui Fei," he whispered but the boy curled up even more as the tears streamed down his face.

Ji Yao sighed as he picked up his sheathed sabre and attempted to poke him awake with the hilt. This of course didn't work so he stretched out his hand intending to shake him awake.

As his hand was about to reach Rui Fei's arm he suddenly hesitated. He clenched his hand and took a step back contemplating on whether to go find Rui Yewan when his wrist was suddenly grasped before he was pulled down on the chaise.

"Shit...," swore Ji Yao as he tried to get up but Rui Fei was embracing him so tight that he was starting to think he was awake. Ji Yao felt suffocated being spooned by Rui Fei. It was like a colony of fiery red ants were crawling up his lungs making it hard for him to breathe.

His racing heartbeat wasn't even the worst of it. Ji Yao's stomach was churning with his ears ringing like he had just been near an explosion. He felt like his body was not his own as an intense chest pain attacked him ever so suddenly.

Unable to bear it he tried to elbow Rui Fei in the abdomen so he could be released from this predicament. But just as he made his move, Rui Fei nuzzled the back of his neck as the tears stopped flowing. "Mum, promise me you will never leave me again," he mumbled with his emotions stabilised.

Ji Yao, "..."

His neck tingled from the youth's hot breath brushing against his neck but instead of being disturbed and distancing himself, he felt a sense of ease wash over him. The panic attack from earlier was gradually tamed which was in itself a miracle.

This was the first time someone other than his father had held him for this long which puzzled him so much that he couldn't make sense of it. He still felt like a small prey in a predators hands but the hair raising feeling was still bearable. If he didn't say he was afraid then he would be lying.

Imagine being averse to everyone but suddenly one day you meet someone who didn't make you feel like you were dying when they held you? It was like his illness was cured in an instant which made him feel like his previous feelings were simply an illusion.