Chapter 48

“Wait, what else are you talking about? What’s wrong with that brat? He’s getting better at framing his brother day by day.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“When I return to the estate, I should recommend my brother to be a playwright.”

Aloken raised his voice and widened his eyes. I was the one to watch with my mouth open.

“I always thought he would have said nonsense because he couldn’t bring me down, but I didn’t know he would really do that.”

“Are you both lying?”

“I… never did that when my mother died. It’s just that…”

But somehow, the reaction was getting weird. Aloken continued to defend himself well, but when he reached the end of the sentence, he shortened his words. He looked into my eyes twice as if he hesitated to say something out of his mouth.

“?”

Is Aloken worried about the way other people are looking at him?

I waited, wondering what was wrong with him, and he finally continued.

“…It’s true that I was diagnosed by a doctor.”

“!”

“We kept it a secret, saying that if this information spread, the Jalier bloodline would be mocked because of me.”

The man, who had shown various expressions such as arrogant smiles or surprise, suddenly returned to being expressionless. In my eyes, his face looked a little different than usual.

‘It’s not just a stiff face. But as if nothing were contained in it.’

I hesitated and finally asked,

“Is the diagnosis reliable?”

To that, Aloken titled his head and answered,

“It has always been hard for me to understand others.”

“…”

“Even when my father yelled with a red face, I couldn’t understand what he was trying to express.”

I listened quietly to what he had said and interrupted in a low voice.

“It’s the first time I’ve heard of such an illness.”

“It’s not an illness.”

Aloken rolled his eyes briefly, then shifted his gaze to the right. A colorful cloth announcing the festival was hung between the buildings.

“The doctor and my family described me like a heartless, chaotic animal, but there are times when I feel happy and times when I feel annoyed.”

“!”

“But the duke had a different attitude toward me. He acted like I was seriously broken.”

“So that’s why he tried to make your brother as his successor?”

“He’s afraid of ruining the lineage by making a person with an illness pass on to the next generation.”

Having said that, Aloken picked up the sugar from the glass with a tong and dropped a couple of them into the coffee. He didn’t do that because he wanted to drink it, but because his hands were bored.

“Just like a child who can’t hear well is a little slow to learn to speak. I’m becoming like that because I haven’t received anything from them.”

“…”

“Doesn’t the parent praise you when you get better in the end, even if the progress is slow? But the previous duke was very greedy, so he wanted me to be perfect immediately.”

“…”

“If I don’t achieve what he wants, I will lose the successor position to my brother, so lately… I have corrected all my actions.”

I heard the story and spat out a single sentence that sounded like a sigh.

“Ah, that’s why the previous duke was being like that.”

My sudden response made Aloken tilt his head as if he didn’t understand. I, therefore, explained to him what I realized.

“That’s why he was so happy when you told him we would get married.”

“?”

“Now that his son, whom he thought was sick, fell in love, so he thought your illness was cured. Perhaps falling in love is the most representative emotion.”

Aloken widened his eyes as if surprised by my words. That expression didn’t last long either.

“That makes sense.”

He put his chin on his hand and said indifferently. Rose said his older brother wouldn’t get better even if he continued being educated. But I had a different thought.

‘I haven’t noticed his character until now. I thought he was rather arrogant and emotional.’

Aloken has been hiding his temperament through his past efforts. He communicated with people without difficulty, and although there were some shortcomings, he was able to communicate well.

“Did your corrections teach you to value human life?”

“That’s right. Thanks to you, I realized that I had acted wrong up to now. I’m busy taking care of my servants now.”

I asked the last question I wanted to confirm. After hearing his answer, I decided to still hold Aloken’s hand in the end.

‘It looks like I got caught up in his brother’s interference.’

In other words, I confirmed that Aloken was not a crazy person who would suddenly harm me.

‘He’s not just acting. He’s learning how to fit into society, and he’s getting better.’

Of course, rather than this conversation, Aloken ascended as the duke and had not killed Rose until now, so I trust him.

“By the way, don’t you care about my temperament?”

Aloken said that, and I answered calmly.

“There’s nothing to care about.”

“Now that I have the duke’s reputation, it would be interesting to use it as a bargaining chip.”

“Even if I shout that you have such an illness, I will be the only one called a crazy woman.”

I just closed my eyes and passed the small scratch made by Aloken. Rather, it’s better for him not to be emotional. Because there was no better condition than this because of the contract.

“Besides, I feel reassured. If you were born with that kind of dull feeling, is it a play that you have shown interest in me until now? Ah, yes. I thought it was weird.”

“…”

“Now that you’re a duke, don’t exhaust yourself anymore. You can relax in front of me.”

I drank the tea with a light heart because the uncomfortable problem was solved. Of course, this tea never went over my esophagus.

“I’m sorry, but we’re coming to an end, and you’re coming up with the wrong conclusion. Why do you think I dared to tell you my secret?”

“…?”

“This is to get the attention of my fiancée.”

When Aloken suddenly spoke about this, I stiffened with the tea in my mouth.

“I learned that sharing secrets helps build affection.”

“Pardon?”

Aloken only smiled with his eyes bent when he saw me stiffened.

“The part I have denied so far has finally been affirmed… I knew you would react like this.”

“…”

“Now I can understand the meaning of love.”

He said before that he didn’t care a little about the feelings of others.

“I never thought that I would find my first love at this age. If you feel sorry for me, why don’t you pay me back.”

‘What do you mean? First love?’

Of course, it would have been a shame to just let this go and leave.

‘Why is he doing this when he’s already busy? I’ve been through Naverius. Does he think I will be happy to play love games?’

I, who barely swallowed the harsh words that were about to come out of my throat, thought as rationally as possible.

‘Is it like ‘This is the first time I’ve met a woman like you’ that often appears in romance novels? Then if I slap his cheeks just like the lady did to the rich man in the novel, will he come to his senses?’

I tried to think rationally to be exact. However, when things didn’t go as planned, I got up from my seat, fearing that he would expose my bottom line.

“We’re done talking, so I’m leaving. Duke Jalier.”

“The New Year’s banquet will continue in the evening, so why not enjoy it?”

“You want me to go to the banquet until night at this age? Don’t say that until after I make my debutante.”

In response, Aloken greeted me with an obvious smile on his face.

“Okay. Then see you again at your debutante.”

* * *

After New Year’s Eve. Weekdays at 9 a.m.

In today’s midnight novel, there is Vasago, who enjoys her birthday while being with three people: the kind relative’s older brother, the wealthy man aka Aloken, and her overprotective father. Whenever she was happy in the novel, I felt like my intestines were twisted, and blood seemed to flow from my eyes to see how everyone loved her. 

“A horse spear competition at the New Year’s festival? Did you have fun?”

“Yes! I couldn’t participate because I was late, but watching it was nice too!”

But I could bear it.

Today was finally the day I met Carl.

How can a model student like me be afraid of classes?

I was able to achieve rapid achievements thanks to my effort to train while reducing my sleep. With that, the basic martial arts class has reached its end.

“It’s amazing. How could someone without knowledge of fighting already have such a posture? Someone like you should be in the military academy!”

Maybe today is the last day of the class. I was proud of what I had learned in the warehouse, where I had a class with Carl.

‘I was recognized for my posture for the first time.’

At least at this rate, there will be no cases of me swinging fists in the air or kicking in vain. Getting praised for my basics brought up a hopeful imagination in my head.

But for a while.

“By the way, Lady Vanora.”

“Yes?”

“I think you’ve gotten used to the basics to some extent.”

Carl poured cold water on my happy imagination.

“How about using poison…? Or take your revenge… two years later while taking it easy…”

He fidgeted with his red hair, avoiding my gaze. I said what I wanted to say.

“I don’t have time that long.”

To be precise, I came to see a future in which this kingdom would later be embroiled in war and ruined.

I went on, boldly skipping the details of the situation.

“And why stick with poison while there are many options? Wouldn’t it be nice to have more means?”

“That’s…”

The boy who glanced in my eyes as I spoke confidently answered immediately.

Why did he tell me to use poison rather than the technique he taught me?

“It’s true that Lady Vanora has good achievements. This is enough to subdue nobles of the same age as yours who are unfamiliar with fighting.”

“…”

“Other than that, to be honest, Lady Vanora is so weak that no one can guarantee your victory.”

He removed the smile he had always had on his lips and spoke seriously.

“You have little muscles, and your body is small. It’s better if you use a weapon, but in bare-handed fighting, your weight basically has a big impact.”

“…”

“Even if you have skills, Lady Vanora will generally lose to people like the successors of a family who have trained their physic.”

Carl’s gentle nature erased my smile. As if he was looking at the pitiful thing, my eyebrows twitched as he repeated the words ‘You’re weak’ several times. It was as if he was saying that my efforts were useless.

“You’re so weak. What if you get hurt while using the skills you learned carelessly? So, as I said earlier, either increase the training period or…”

“Am I that weak?”

“Yes.”

I bowed my head. Because of that, Carl couldn’t see my expression, but the fact that I was upset right now was felt on his skin.

‘I was happy that I could finally use it in real life with this level of achievement. But I’m so weak that I can’t beat anyone…’

Clearly, in the eyes of others, I was too late to start. While the other family successors learned the basics of swordsmanship from an early age, I didn’t start physical training until I was 16 years old.

“If you don’t quite understand, would you like to have a spar with me?”

“…”

“Lady Vanora, take your weapon. I wouldn’t use a single arm with my bare hands.”

But as soon as I heard these remarks, one side of my head cooled down.

“This way, you will understand what I mean.”

From Carl’s point of view, these words were uttered because he was genuinely worried about Vanora. If he let her know that she wasn’t at the level to go into action now, there were parts where he thought that Vanora would do wrong by acting hastily.

“…”

However, I lifted my face slowly at his remarks and immediately thought something.