Chapter 106 - CHAPTER 106

Chapter 106

Don't leave me and go, I want to live with you

You are my makeup, you are my jewel

The distance between us is our enemy

As much as you are mine, I am yours likewise.

O, my beloved, my heart doesn't attach itself to anything except you...….

★★★★★★

The silence was still surrounding them, as Daniel continued to do his work while Amy sat there with a sad feeling although keeping the smile on her face intact looking at him or more like staring into his orbs.

She didn't know why but every time she stared at him, there was something about his eyes that compelled her to look into them. They were deep like an ocean of waves, each one having its own story to unfold yet sometimes they were too hollow like nothing was there.

Daniel could feel her eyes on him but he still continued to do his work. There was just a turmoil of feelings lurking behind him, he was hurt, angry and depressed that she tried to pry into the things he concealed so far but some part of him was happy even a bit, thankful for the way she held him not making fun of him, not mocking him or making him drift back into that pool of weakness instead she kissed every scar of his like a person praising them as something like a beauty spot.

That scene brings an undeniable warmth to his heart that feels like spreading through every corner making him relish it. He really wished Amy could treat him like this before, all his life he was told that those scars adorning his body were pathetic, that he was pathetic. It took him years to get himself out of that stance and focus on his abilities but still, you can't make your scars vanish magically; they could be stitched but they are always there to remind you of your suffering.

He always thought that telling anyone around him about his past would disgust them, making them either pity or resent him, both of which he didn't want and to Amy, it was a big no. How could he take the risk of losing her, the one person he loved the most. He never wanted anyone to know about the things which haunt him, the unleashed demons of which he is still trying to bind to his shore of certainty.

He rubbed his forehead trying to ease himself, stealing a glance at Amy who was staring back at him with a smile. One thing he could not bring his mind to wrap around was this new and more than friendly behaviour of her. He agreed on co-parenting Ozan, not her trying to act like his wife, he couldn't deny it felt good to feel being understood and catered to like this but then again it was like again getting lost in a fog of daydreaming something unattainable.

Daniel sighed, closing his file. He stood from his chair breaking Amy's stare as he moved towards the couch taking one of the sandwiches from the lunch box. He unwrapped and started eating it without much of a saying, they tasted good he thought.

"They are good!" Daniel said munching on the bread.

Amy wanted to chuckle at his antics but stifled herself taking her own share from the box.

"Glad you liked it, it took me two hours to make them!" 

Daniel spin glanced at her, surprised a bit.

"You made them yourself!"

"I know I am not a good chef but still I could try, no need to give that look!" Amy tsked unwrapping the foil around her sandwich.

"I am just amazed, you were a terrible chef back in the past!" Daniel shrugged but realized that it might sound harsh.

Amy chuckled taking a bite of her food, 

"You are right, I was banned from the kitchen. Mom wouldn't even allow me to make salads. It was always Ayla the pro in cooking!"

"After the holiday cake making disaster, you created by burning the oven it was bound to happen!" Daniel said, giving a small smile remembering how Vahide mom panicked and shouted at Amy for burning half of their kitchen and risking herself too.

Amy winced in her mind recalling that awful incident.

Swallowing a small bite, Amy asked.

"You aren't mad at me?"

He understood what she was talking about and in truth, he should have been mad but what she did was snooping into his privacy but also for the reason of comforting him. He could see that in her eyes, her behaviour, it ticked him suddenly that she might be being nice to him after learning about his past but then there wasn't any sign that whatever she did that night and was doing now was out of pity.

"I should have been as a matter of fact Amy but due to some reason, I chose not to!" He replied nonchalantly.

"I wasn't snooping in your privacy Daniel but the fact that something was pressing you that badly was unnerving me, that's the reason I went to learn about your past. The thing that I have been with you for such a long time but not even for once you spoke about…"

"What was I supposed to say to you, Amy? Whenever you came to meet me, either you were at your high or you're low. Was I supposed to say 'Hey Amy, you know I have been abused my whole life!' I was afraid of losing you " Daniel let out with a scoff.

Amy swallowed the chunk of her sandwich. Again it was the truth that when they went to their respective universities, Amy only visited him when she was unable to contain her excitement about something or when she was feeling extremely low. What a terrible friend I was! Amy gritted her teeth with that thought.

"What about now? I won't run away if you open up yourself, let your guards down a bit. I am not your enemy Daniel!"

Daniel looked at her, could he do that? Let his guards down and pour his heart out to her. The answer was conflicted but it was no, he couldn't afford to get heartbroken once again.

"If you had asked this question before, I would have considered telling you everything but this time if I do I am afraid Amy my heart will bleed out. Giving my heart to you is a losing game! 

It was a bitter truth but she knew she hadn't given him a reason to have hope in her again. Amy wanted to defy his assumption about her but then it was something she had to do with actions not with talking only. Things take time to fall in their place after all.

Amy plastered a small smile on her face, 

"I wasn't asking you to open up right now, maybe in the future when you trust me enough to confide yourself in me!"

"Who knows what the future has in store for us!" Daniel shrugged looking away. Maybe in the future, he could give it a thought.

They continued to eat in silence for a few minutes, it was a disturbing one for Amy but she didn't have anything more to talk about at the moment. Getting finished with her lunch, Amy decided to go and look for Ozan, it has been an hour now and she knew that those two were just keeping him away to give them privacy.

She stood from her place, wrapping the things back in the bag.

"I should go and look for Ozan, he might be troubling them!" Amy spoke moving away from the couch when she felt a familiar touch on her hand causing her to spin around.

"Thanks!" Daniel muttered standing close to her. There was a smile on his face, it was small but warm and filled with gratitude.

"You don't have to thank me for lunch Daniel!" Amy smiled back, feeling giddy seeing that smile on his face for her after a long time.

Daniel caressed her hand with his thumb, contemplating on whether to say it or not but finally giving in.

"I am thanking you for that night, for not judging me and holding me when I felt vulnerable again. Thank you!"

For a moment, she was dumbstruck with her stomach fluttering at that smile and response. Like a teenage girl whose crush acknowledged her for the first time. He remembered and didn't regret that moment, she wanted to jump at him and kiss him like never before but snapped her mind out of it.

'Baby steps!' She chided her mind.

She smiled before placing a soft kiss on his cheek startling him.

"You may not believe me Daniel but for now I am always here for you!"  Amy muttered in a promising tone and gave one last smile walking out of his office.

Daniel stepped towards his chair, brushing his cheek wondering what was happening to them.