Chapter 118 - CHAPTER 117

Chapter 117

When beloved came,

The lovers were beguiled

Love doesn't listen to the word 'patience'

Love doesn't care to know its own consequences

Love said something in my ear in such a way

That upon hearing too, I heard nothing

Since I have turned towards love's way

I have completely lost my senses

Love came to my heart in a way

Yes it came, yes it came

I should cast away the evil eyes, 

★★★★★★★★

Coming back from France was like a rude awakening from a fantasy. Daniel went back to his office after the weekend and Amy, she was trying to hide her unrest and emotions by trying to act normal at the same time figuring out the newfound emotions for Daniel which were getting intense with each passing moment.

Daniel on the other hand wasn't oblivious to her troubled self, he could feel that whenever she brought lunch for him at the office, quietly eating it asking a few questions. While sleeping she would keep her back to him but he knew that she would lay awake for a few hours before falling asleep.

She was trying to act normal but there wasn't the same energy in her smile and words. It was plaguing his mind now making him a victim though he was the one to decide that it was better to remain friends. Some unspoken feelings and words were holding them both together with a string and that string was made of thorns becoming painful each second. One trying to figure out her feelings and the other trying to uphold his. It was a mess, the same chaos Daniel was afraid of falling back in.

Daniel was sitting on the still of the pool, legs dipped in the water looking at the sparkling water. Sleep wasn't anywhere near so after much trying he decided to sit by the pool. A soft breeze was flowing around ruffling his hair but it wasn't bothering him like his heart.

A gentle pitter-patter of feet reached his ears and without looking back he could recognise who it was.

"Can't sleep?" He asked leaning his head upward to see her standing near wearing her pyjamas and a cotton shawl draped around her shoulders. She shrugged, sitting beside him cross-legged.

"Why do you look at water and sky like you are smitten by them!" Amy implored watching the water below them. It was a question she always wanted to ask.

"They had been there for me when I was washed away and drowned by the tides of life. The lake behind our school and the pond behind my childhood house was the only thing that kept me from going insane at the worst point of my life, they gave me hope that I can move forward too like the waves of water and the stars in the sky as well as a soothing ambience." Daniel muttered with a heavy tone.

"You can become a poet Daniel with these deep words of yours!" Amy said softly, her eyes still staring in space.

Daniel smiled a bit, 

"You are still there, right?" He asked after much contemplation. Amy looked at her knees, he didn't need to explain what he was talking about.

"Unfortunately, yes!"

"It wouldn't bring any good."

"It wouldn't bring any harm either Daniel, it wouldn't complicate anything!" She stressed out looking at him.

"You are just punishing me!"

His mind stopped on the punishment, did she really think that way.

"I wish you knew the way I am feeling right now, the way I have felt all these years. I wish you knew how my heart melts whenever I look at you, how my resolve cripples out but then you don't know how it felt when I would think of you and me in the past and how the thought would fade away like a fog."  He paused before adorning a sad smile on his face.

"When you choose to love Silas, I was about to tell you. I was about to say the most beautiful words of this world, praying and begging to the Lord that you felt the same way but all I got was nothing. I wish you could feel all the pain then I would ask you what it is to be punished!" A heavy sadness laced with disappointment laced his tone, swirling heavy guilt in the pit of her stomach.

"I almost died the day you said those things to Silas in his house, how you kissed him and humiliated our friendship, our marriage tesoro. If it wasn't for Ozan, I would be dying of agony somewhere!" He didn't plan to say those words, they poured out involuntarily. It was like spilling the heart moment.

"I thought I could not love anyone as much as I loved you. But now, I think I could not get hurt by anyone as much as I got from you."

Tears brimmed the surface of her eyes, she turned to him grasping his hands in a tight hold.

"If I ever knew about your love Daniel, if I wasn't blinded by my delusions, believe me, I would never choose to love Silas. It would have been you from the start, it's you Daniel. I deserve everything that happened to me but please don't turn away, give our relationship a chance." She pleaded with her eyes, the familiar warm eyes of hers filled with tears that were troubling him.

He caressed his thumb over the surface of her palm placing a gentle kiss there.

"I am not punishing you tesoro, nor am I ridiculing you for the past. I have cast off the harsh things in the pile of unwanted memories burning them!"  He said drawing a breath.

"But I can't tesoro, I don't want to cry in the shadow of heartbreak again. I am not afraid to say that my mind isn't letting me take a risk because this time I won't be able to survive!" He let out feeling a tear fall on his palm but it wasn't his it belonged to Amy.

"What i-if I say that I have started to fall for you, not even then!" Amy muttered, pouring out her emotions with the falling tears. 

It was pinching his heart, why wouldn't it. She was the woman he had loved all his life and still, she was the one occupying his heart. There was no denial in it. He could swear it on anything that after attempting to bury his feelings, uphold them, toss them. They eventually dig out and come back with more strength. 

He let out a small chuckle, a sad one.

"I don't want you to love me out of pity, out of compensation for what occurred in the past. Love isn't something that you can force, something you can direct. You can't tell yourself that you want to fall in love with that certain person, it is something that happens on its own!" He stated, his words were startling but held the intensity of truth.

Amy sniffed, retreating her hand and removing the shawl from her shoulders. Daniel gave her a curious glance as she took his hand and placed it on her heart that was beating in a rhythm.

"Here, feel it beat." She whispered, edging her face closer to his. He could smell her vanilla scent.

"It beats differently when I think about you, about us Daniel. It beats differently when I see you smiling my way, glancing my way. Just your mere touch and breath makes me go weak, I don't feel myself the same stubborn and repulsive Amy Moretti. I feel myself a woman desperate to win your love back, a mother going above and below everything to protect her son. I feel myself as Amy Saritas," Their breaths mingled as both of them gazed into each other's eyes. Daniel's heart felt like bursting out any moment as he went deeper wandering into her eyes, there was an emotion unspoken yet strong enough that it melted the last piece of his resolve.

Their eyes glided down to each other's lips but none leaned forward just breathing in each other as the revelations were too heavy to be thrown away.

Closing her eyes, Amy leaned back placing his hand back on his knee. Wiping away the stray tears before smiling in a defeated manner,

"If this is what you want, I won't complain. I deserve it but.."

She swallowed a bit before muttering, 

"I will be waiting for you just like you did!" The whole sentence was a whisper but hit his heart like a force to be reckoned with. She stood up slowly wrapping her shawl as she strolled back into the house with a heavy heart.

The air which seemed relaxing to him now felt chilly, he smashed his hands on the sill biting the insides of his cheek.. The chaos he was so trying to run away from entangled him again and how ironic this time he was becoming the convict.