Chapter 124 - Being Sincere

Jade didn't understand what she was supposed to look at or most importantly, what she was supposed to see. She was about asking Jake what she was supposed to see when suddenly the screen of the T.V suddenly lit up revealing the title of the game.

'Demon souls'

Jade was highly confused at the moment. Her eyes were fixed to the screen, she still hasn't fully grasped what was going on. She saw Jake pick up the game console and his action heightened her level of confusion. Jade watched in both shock and surprise as Jake started playing.

She couldn't believe it.

Demon soul was a game that was praised because of its outrageous level of difficulty, and its level of difficulty to combat was one of the reasons the game received more reception in various part of the world mostly in the west. The level of difficulty was intended to both evoke classic video games and provide a sense of challenge and accomplishment for players. This aspect proved demanding for it's producer, partly because of his fear that him and his team would be asked to lower the difficulty in order to make the game more accessible.

For a game that could incorp 6 players Jade could see how well Jake was doing fine on his own.

For someone who claimed he has never handled a game console before, he was doing pretty well. Even with the few lectures she had given him she was sure he wouldn't be this good. That was impossible!

Jade was stunnned as she continued to gawk at the ongoing game. Her eyes slowly returned and settled on the man who was playing it. This was not happening.

Jake paused when he felt her gaze on him. His hands subconsciously lowered themselves, while his eyes desperately searched that of Jade's, but no matter how much and how hard he looked he couldn't find anything. Her gaze was inscrutable and it made him uncomfortable.

"Jade..." He called out softly. Jade who's eyes were settled on him darted to the screen of the T.V one more time. Jade chuckled out but definitely not out of amusement. She couldn't believe this.

Another lie?

"So you can play?" Jade asked rhethorically. Even when she knew the answer she just couldn't help herself from asking. Jade snickered when Jake said, "Yes" nodding affirmatively.

Why does everybody lie? Why do people keep doing this to her? Why does everyone tell her lies? Cale had lied to her for five years because of him she had met Jake who in turn was now currently lying to her. Was she this gullible to people? Someone they could always deceive with lies? Someone they could easily use and toil with?

If Cale had lied to her because he was using her to achieve his lame dreams, then what was Jake's reason? To sleep with her again? Was that what this was? An antic to bed her for her for the second time? Jade's thoughts were running wide making her shut her eyes tightly. All this thoughts were suddenly becoming too depressing, and she could feel her heart rate increase as anger began to seep through her bones. This was unfair.

Just at the point when she was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe Jake wasn't as bad as she thought or as the tabloid and internet painted him to be. Just when she was beginning to think there was some good inside of him and that she shouldn't judge and criticize him because of the flaw he had, this suddenly happens?

His sincerity which he had showed her and his speech of being overwhelmed with work, of leading a rigid and boring life, and his quest to seek out fun filled things to do were just an act? An act to deceive her? To what end?

To sleep with her perhaps?

"Ja..." Jade's silence was making Jake extremely uncomfortable. It would be better if she got vexed, yelled at him anything other than this silence and stoic gaze on her face. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Why?" Was all Jade could ask. Maybe he had another reason behind all this. Jake felt his body stiffen the moment he heard that question.

'Why?'

Why he was hanging around her? Why he started all this? Why he started lying just to be around her? Why he kept thinking about her when he shouldn't have? Why he can't take the thought of her out of his mind? Why Jade's name suddenly became the only name he wanted to call? All this questions, all this why's...he didn't have the answer to them either.

He desperately wanted the answer for himself, but no matter how hard he had tried to come up with one, he just couldn't. The more he tried to figure it out, the more he came out blank and even more confused with newly developed questions.

Jade watched in silence as Jake couldn't come up with an answer.

"I thought as much" Jade said in self mockery as she scoffed. She locked herself for being so naive again as to let someone else lie and fool her this way. When Jake couldn't reply she thought he was too ashamed to tell her the truth. That his only reason was because he wanted to fool her so she could let her guards down, and then he could have his way with her.

"It's not what you think?" Jake hurriedly said out when he noticed Jade's look, but that only earned Jade's glare.

"Mr Jake you know what I'm thinking?" Jade asked sarcastically.

"If you know then tell me. And please do also tell me what I should also think of all your lies" Jade said angrily. Jake couldn't blame her for getting angry at him, he sure deserved whatever Jade threw at him at the moment.

He could tell she felt like she has been used. He didn't know what have happened to her in the past, but he knew whatever it was has played a huge role in making her think this way. The girl must have suffered from a hurtful experience.

"Jade give me a moment to explain this" He said with a pleading tone, not noticing the continous use of the word 'Jade' and not 'miss Jade'. When Jade didn't reply, he took that as a cue for him to continue. He dropped the console to the ground and looked at her intensely.

"Firstly I want to say I'm truly sorry. Believe me I truly am...I didn't mean for things to happen this way. I never meant to make you feel the way you're feeling now. And I know you think I did this because of what has happened between us, I completely understand and I don't blame you for seeing me as nothing but a jerk, it's just my sad nature and I totally get it. But the truth is, I didn't mean it that way. I didn't do this to deceive you so I could get to sleep with you again. I'm not saying that such thoughts didn't cross my mind, because it did, I'm not innocent. I thought about it a million times, but I promise it was just a fleeting thought. I sincerely had no intentions of hurting you or making feel used or insulted"

"I know I lied and that was bad, but I didn't lie because I wanted to fool you, never! It never did cross my mind to do that to you. And if you ask me why i have been lying to you a hundred more times, I swear I still won't be able to provide the answer you need, because I also don't know. I don't know why I lied, or why I started it in the first place.

I think at first I could say I was completely lusting after you, like who the hell wouldn't, but that changed because right now, I...I just want...to know you, and I like hanging out with you. I didn't know how to tell you this and that was why I lied, and I kept lying even more.

"Right now, right this moment this is me being as truthful as I can be. There is no hidden agenda elsewhere.

"I have come to realize how stupid my actions are because I know I have hurt you with them and that's why I'm sincerely begging that you please forgive me Jade. I'm not forcing you to do that now l, because I know have broken what ever little trust or respect you might have developed for me, so I won't try to do or say anything that will pressure you, but please forgive me" Jake apologized with all his heart. He didn't know if his apology was good enough or if it will ever be good enough but that was the best he could do for now. Maybe he shouldn't have said some of the things he said, but this was who he was, and as the occasion called for him to be sincere with his apology, he had thought it best to say everything that laid in his heart.

Now that he has tried been honest it was up to Jade to make the decision. The thing is would Jade be able to overlook his wrong and forgive him or would she resent him for being another man who chose not to lie and use her emotions against her?