Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day, I could feel that length up my *ss. It wasn’t even my real body, but it still felt uncomfortable because the memories flowed into my mind seamlessly. My face crumpled every time I bent down.

Today was a perfect day to die.

Just the thought of last night made me want to cry, so I quickly put away the book on my tiptoes. If I ever ran into those men in this vast castle by chance, all I wanted was to die and be turned into ashes.

Now, I just hope I don’t get caught forever even when I die.

Where was the ring? They couldn’t find it this time either, and so my lips trembled with anxiety. If I can’t get that ring soon, I really think I’ll go crazy.

Right now, I’ve been tasked with opening up a bunch of books piled up in a cart to see if they’re damaged or not, and then I’d need to put them back on the shelves.

As I finished the task aimlessly, bad thoughts swirling through my mind, the time for lunch came before I knew it. I didn’t have an appetite, so I made a cross with my arms when Lucy was waving at me.

By the time the people had gone out, I took off my cap and untied the straps. The Imperial Library was closed for lunch. Even if it wasn’t closed, there should be no disturbances because no one came near my area anyway, so I could rest comfortably.

“Ah, I’m tired.”

Inside the library were some long benches where people could sit, so I went to the innermost place to lie down on one and took off my shoes. I absorbed energy all night, so my body was in good shape, but the mental stress was too much.

As I lay down on my back, I stared blankly at my hand, which was used to not holding on to anything. I wonder if I’m really tired.

Little by little, my eyelids grew heavier.

——

“Ah, aaung—AH!”

My eyes shot open to the loud voice that pierced my sensitive ears. I guess I fell asleep without knowing some other people were here. I woke up half-asleep and blinked my eyes.

Then, I glanced around and carefully put my shoes back on so that I wouldn’t make a sound. It was good that there were only a few people in this section, but sometimes that was the cause for people to come and do something indecent in secret like this.

It was obvious what was going on, so I carefully walked around the bookshelves to avoid them.

‘Ack!’

White hips were moving violently in front of my eyes. I gulped, but I was so surprised that I almost screamed.

I looked around and checked between the desks and saw the hem of someone’s dress, which was lifted up the owner’s thigh, but it wasn’t something that maids wore.

I didn’t think much when I tiptoed around, head empty as I avoided them like I didn’t see anything, though I made eye contact with the man holding the woman.

“Ah, ah! S-so good! Ah…”

“…Shh, Miss Linelle. Someone might hear.”

“Hnngh, haaaa…”

The man put a finger over the woman’s lips and asked the lady to be quiet, but his eyes were on me the whole time.

Whenever I flinched, he would whisper provocative words, like ‘I hope someone doesn’t come after hearing us,’ and ‘What will we do if we get caught?’

In the end, I was forced to watch their dirty act, on the verge of tears.

Why are you doing this to me, Sir Endymion…? I don’t know how many times I’ve caught him in the middle of his secret meetings so far.

“Ahh, ah! Ah, Endymion…!”

Between the woman’s messy black hair, I could see a reddened nape. Sir Endymion, a man who enjoyed midday affairs, rocked his hips along with the lady, who seemed to be a noblewoman. Then, they shuddered and the place between them trickled with faint liquid.

My face was about to explode. It’s over now, so am I allowed to go…?

He laughed as he looked at me standing frozen, then waved his hand. I rushed out of there like I was running away, spewing out all the swear words I knew.

‘Crazy, crazy!’

I rubbed my cheeks as I struggled to catch my breath.

Endymion Lucen, the Commander of the White Knights, had been a kind and gentle person when I first met him.

However, one day, when he found out I was in charge of that section in the library, he started having secret meetings there. Deep kisses, half-naked and caressing until lunchtime was over. I have no idea why this started.

Endymion was the most cooperative person when I turned into Lilith, the succubus. But, for a lot of reasons, I, as Lily, was so uncomfortable around him. The same was true for Lilith.

There was cold sweat running down my back. I sat with my back against the cool wall and struggled to compose myself, but my cheeks were still terribly hot, so I buried my face as I hugged my knees.

Ah, seriously. What the hell is wrong with that guy?!

After a while, I looked up, although Endymion was right in front of me.

“Ack!”

“Hello, Miss Lily.”

“Oh, h-hello, Commander Lucen.”

“Have you eaten lunch?”

“I h-haven’t eaten yet. How about you…”

“Ah, I just ate.”

“Oh, um, okay.”

I tried to hide my sour expression with a reluctant, helpless smile. This person, on the surface, was like a prince in a fairy tale book. He was so bright and delicate-looking that people would say they would go blind if they looked closely at him, but the problem was that all they knew was that he’s handsome.

Honestly, I don’t know how to gauge him, but seeing him having flings with one woman after another would make you question if this was common sense.

“Your hair’s still pretty, as always.”

“Thank you. The Commander, too, uh, is pretty.”

“Thank you.”

Even though his platinum hair, which glimmered in the middle of winter, was more beautiful than my plain black hair without any unique characteristics, this person never failed to praise my ‘pretty’ black hair every time we met.

Maybe it’s his preference…

Come to think of it, all the women I saw with him had black hair, so maybe that’s why Lilith visits him at night, he’s so submissive.

Still, anyway, it doesn’t matter to me, so I’ll set that aside.

“Looking at Miss Lily reminds me of someone.”

“Ah, yes.”

“I haven’t seen her much lately, but she looks very much like you, Miss Lily.”

My heart was pounding hard. It wasn’t because of shyness or because of some palpitations, but because of the tense atmosphere.

Lilith and I were different in height, body type, and hair length, but we would still be seen as similar if we stood side by side, even though Lilith was ridiculously beautiful.

Nonetheless, I didn’t worry about it much because people who encountered a succubus would see me as their ideal type. And, additionally, once our entanglement was over, their memories would be blurred, and they wouldn’t remember my face clearly.

Even so, hearing what Endymion said made me nervous.

“She has ebony hair just like Miss Lily. Her eyes are a beautiful crimson, and her skin is fair and glowing. Like Miss Lily.”

“Oh, um…”

Endymion spoke with a dreamy face as he said that. It was a strange expression. Do you happen to like Lilith?

“She’s a beautiful person. Like Miss Lily.”

“I-I see…”

My voice kept shaking. I wasn’t too quick-witted, but I was sure that this was the face of a man in love. I’m sure. This guy seemed to like the other me, Lilith. The word ‘beautiful’ wasn’t for me, but for her.

The current situation was so uncomfortable, although by the time I couldn’t stand it anymore, Endymion, who was leaning down purposefully to maintain eye contact with me, got up first and stretched out a hand at me.

I hesitated for a moment, but I didn’t know if he was being kind only because he was originally a well-mannered person. And, because he liked Lilith, I didn’t know how to say no without giving something away with my expression, so I just took his hand and got up.

Eventually, I spoke quietly, not even thinking of looking up to see his smiling face.

“Well then, I’ll be on my way.”

“Yes. See you again, Miss Lily.”

“Yes? Um, yes. Be careful on your way.”

As I ran away and avoided his persistent gaze, I heard a low laugh.

——

“…Lucy, thanks for the food.”

“What happened to you this morning? I’ll cover for you, so just go back.”

Lucy clicked her tongue and urged me to return to my quarters. Maybe she was worried that I didn’t eat lunch, but she brought me some food that’s easy to digest, but I couldn’t even eat them properly.

Perhaps my face betrayed me more than I thought because other people pushed me to go get some rest after I greeted them briefly.

The reason why Endymion was exceptionally cooperative and submissive was because he actually liked Lilith, and it made me feel sorry for him. To like such a person… I felt sorry for him because Lilith was a person with a twisted personality with only her face going for her.

I wasn’t in the position to worry about anyone other than myself right now, though I could understand Endymion to some extent because I knew the feeling of false sexual desire for someone I wanted to meet, but couldn’t.

After I took a bath, I stood in front of the mirror.

It’s today. If I absorb energy today, I won’t have to visit anyone for the next three days.

I sighed, then laid back down on my bed. The pattern under my navel was getting a little hotter.