I look at the blank paper on my table. I need to do something to stop people from intervening in my engagement with Prince Fraser, or else it will endanger everyone.
And the only solution I can think of is to send a letter to Lilla. I initially planned to send a letter to my parents, but I don't want to burden them again. I know they are still disappointed with my decision, and asking for their help will make them more disappointed with me. So, I skipped the plan and asked for help from Lilla.
However, I still need to ask permission from his majesty if I can interfere with the issue. His majesty and his highness haven't released any statement regarding the issue. So, I think it will be rude to act on my own accord.
I was busy writing a letter of permission to his majesty when someone knocked on my door.
"Csille?"
I look back and find Brother Pascal holding a tray of food. "Brother?"
He looks at the paper on my table. "Am I interrupting you? Apologies. I just heard from Gisbert that you didn't eat your breakfast. I thought you already promised not to skip meals?" He sigh. "Is there something wrong?"
I look at the clock and shake my head. I was too engrossed thinking about a solution to my problem that I didn't realize what time is it.
"Apologies, Brother. I was just busy that it slipped my mind. But I didn't intentionally skip breakfast."
Brother Pascal puts the tray on a chair and checks what I am doing. "What have you been doing that you forgot to eat your breakfast? Is it another report for your Founda—"
Brother Pascal wasn't able to finish his words when he saw the papers on my table. I have written a few letters already, but I didn't like my wording, so I kept writing another letter. Brother Pascal probably sees that I am writing his majesty a letter to ask permission if I can do something to clean Prince Fraser's name.
I anxiously look at Brother Pascal and see his jaw clenching. He's mad. I should have locked my door before I write this. I know he would be disappointed when he saw me trying to help Prince Fraser clear his name.
A moment after, Brother Pascal chuckled. The kind of chuckle that is quite taunting. "You're really going all way out just to help him, aren't you? What are you going to do? Make people believe that the reason why Prince Fraser doesn't look bothered is because you are updating him with what is happening in here? Is that your plan, Csille?"
I avoid Brother Pascal's eyes. He is right, though. It's a part of my plan. Aside from explaining what really happened in the western region, I was planning to explain why Prince Fraser acts like he doesn't care about the idea that I am here.
I heard Brother Pascal laughs. "Really, Csille? You're planning to fool everyone? Those people who care about you? You're really planning to fool them just to defend your so called fiancé who doesn't even care about you? Is this how you will repay their concern for you? I couldn't believe this. Csille, you're really..."
Brother Pascal stops talking. He looks so disappointed and frustrated right now. He shakes his head as he looks at me disappointedly.
"This is really disappointing."
He immediately left the room after he said those words, while I was left dumbfounded by what happened.
I know he will be disappointed if he knows what I am planning to do, but I didn't expect to see a big reaction like this.
I look at the letters on my table and crumple each of them before I dump them on the garbage can. Forget it. How can I still want to help Prince Fraser after seeing Brother Pascal's reaction?
I slump my body on my bed and close my eyes. "Why does every time I try to correct things, I always end up hurting the people I loved the most? Isn't this torture? I now understand why Soiartze and Aaline decided to go against the storyline. How can you just stand still and watch the people you love in pain?"
I want to save Prince Fraser, but I guess this time I need to listen to Brother Pascal. I already hurt them by harming myself. I don't think I can bear to disappoint him again.
I just wish that nothing will happen to this world because of these changes. After all, there is something that is controlling this world. Maybe it could save this world from destruction.
________________________________
I was sleeping soundly when I suddenly heard a loud noise. It's as if something big was slammed on a wall or something. When I looked at the source of the sound, I was welcomed with a strong gust of wind. The sound comes from my window that was opened by the strong wind. My blanket and a few of my pillows were drifted away by the wind. I tried to stop it from drifting away, but I was worried I would fall on my bed with how strong the wind was.
My eyes widened when I saw some of the furniture in my room was being sucked in by the wind. By suck in, it means it was being blown away outside my room through my window. Those big furniture ends up being slammed on the wall.
In my panic, I immediately get down my bed and force myself under my bed. I also hold on tightly to the bedpost, afraid that I will be drift away by the wind too. The bed is made out of sturdy wood, so it will be difficult for it to be sucked by the strong wind.
I anxiously look around me. Trying to process things.
What is happening? Why is there a strong wind like this inside my room? Am I dreaming?
However, my question was instantly answered when something hit me on my side. I immediately groan when I feel the pain on my side.
My eyes widened when I realized something because of the pain. If this is a dream, why do I feel the pain when something hits me? Shouldn't that hurt?
The wind continues to suck in lighter things for a few minutes before it disappears. I didn't immediately get out under the bed because I'm afraid that the wind would come back and blow me away.
I just looked at my surroundings, and I almost didn't recognize my room. It was a mess. Although I can only see the floor of my room, I can already see how messy it is right now.
My bookshelf, which was standing still in its place a while ago, is now on the floor. Some of my books were already scattered too. I can even see that most of my things are already on the floor.
What just happened? What is that?
I was still processing what happened when my door burst open, and an overly anxious someone came rushing inside my room.
I heard the person gasp when he saw how severe the condition of my room was. Then he anxiously looks around my room, seemingly trying to find something. I know he is a he based on the shoes he is wearing.
"Csille? CSILLE? WHERE ARE YOU? ANSWER ME, PLEASE!"
I blinked my eyes when I heard Brother Pascal's shouts. But I didn't come out from hiding under the bed. I was traumatized by what happened, and I am still trying to calm myself down.
"CSILLE! WHERE ARE YOU? PLEASE ANSWER ME? PLEASE BE ALIVE. I PROMISE I WILL NOT BE MAD AT YOU EVEN IF YOU STILL INSIST ON MARRYING PRINCE FRASER. JUT PLEASE, PLEASE BE OKAY."
I could hear Brother Pascal's cry, but because I was still busy calming myself, I couldn't respond to him immediately.
It took me a couple of minutes before I finally calmed down myself. But I was startled when I heard Brother Pascal crying.
"Csille, please answer me. Where are you? Pleasee..."
I slowly get out under the bed, and I immediately see Brother Pascal kneeling on the ground, head down while crying.
"Brother Pascal?"
Brother Pascal immediately looks up, and his tears roll down his face. He immediately rushes towards me and hugs me tightly.
"Csille! Thank God you're alive! I... I tho-thou-gt you're.." He shakes his head and hugs me tighter. I can even feel and hear his heartbeat right now. His heart is beating so fast. It's as if he just finished ruining. "Don't scare me like that, Csille. I thought I had already lost you."
I didn't immediately respond to Brother Pascal. Although I could hear his voice and see how anxious he is, my mind couldn't process what I am seeing immediately.
"Csille, is there's something wrong? Did you hurt yourself? Are you all okay?" I feel him take my arm and check it.
I just looked at Brother Pascal, but I didn't reply to him. Although I can see what he is doing, my mind keeps recalling what just happened.
How the wind blew off my blanket and my furniture. How it feels like there's a huge vacuum passed by my room and sucked in the things. It was a scary sight.
I thought... I thought I would die right at that moment. And I admit it. I got scared. I was so scared that my mind couldn't work properly.
"Csille, can you hear me? Csille! Don't scare me like that. Please answer me."
I look at my anxious Brother Pascal. I blink my eyes for a couple of minutes.
He holds my arms and looks straight into my eyes. "Csille, are you okay? Is there something wrong with you? Tell me so I can immediately check it."
I shake my head. I want to answer him, but I don't understand why my mouth couldn't cooperate with me. But it's not the same feeling when the real Csille took over my body. I can move other parts of my body but not my mouth. Not unlike when the real
Csille took over my body.
I can process things now at the normal speed, but the problem is, I don't understand why it seems like my mouth isn't cooperating with me.
"Then tell me what is wrong? Why aren't you speaking?"
It's because I couldn't move my mouth, Brother. I wanted to answer you, but my mouth wouldn't move.
I anxiously shake my head. I tried to gesture to him that I couldn't control my mouth, but it looked like he didn't understand what I was saying.
"Csille, what are you trying to say? I don't understand your hand gestures. Why don't you just tell me what is happening?"
I repeatedly shake my head. How can I tell him if I can't move my mouth?
Brother Pascal was about to say something again when Gisbert and Louisa came rushing to my room.
"Dame Csille!" The two of them exclaim.
Louisa immediately runs towards me and hugs me tightly. "Dame Csille, are you okay?" She looks around my room, and she gasps when she sees the mess. "Are you hurt?"
I shake my head and gently rub Louisa's head, trying to calm her. I can see how anxious she is through her eyes. I don't know if it's because of what she experienced or because of what happened to me.
I tried to open my mouth again to comfort Louisa, but to no avail, I still couldn't control my mouth. I look at Brother Pascal helplessly. I try to gesture to him again what is happening with me, but he just looks at me confusedly.
I shake my head and continue gesturing my hand but no matter how I explain it to him. He still doesn't understand it.
"I think I already know what Dame Csille is trying to say."
Brother Pascal and I immediately look at Gisbert, who is still standing in the doorway.
"What is happening to her? I really don't understand what she is trying to say."
Gisbert looks at Brother Pascal. "I think she becomes mute because of what happened. I remember hearing a situation like this before. There was once a lady who saw her husband being killed in front of her. She became too traumatized that she didn't speak a word after. Everyone thought she was just grieving for her husband's death. But after a month of her husband's death, they noticed how the lady still couldn't speak. Then they realized something was not wrong. The lady becomes mute."
My eyes widened when I heard what Gisbert said. What? I become mute?