426 Guys, This Is Not The Plot You Remembered

As soon as Baiyi saw the signboard, he rummaged through the memories he had of Earth. There was no place on his Earth's Area 11 called 'Fuyuku City', so Baiyi said to the Archmage, "Hey, you know what? I really did return to Earth, just not my Earth. It's yours. How do you feel about switching from using cards with characters drawn on it to becoming a character yourself?"

"My student, what are you even talking about?" The Archmage asked, confused. "By the way, you're absolutely not welcomed to my home. I'll never let a card arsonist like you enter my sacred abode!"

'Hmph, what a petty old geezer! Is he's scared that I would burn something else in his home,' Baiyi shook his head sideways. Now was not the time to think of these trivial things.

There was nothing else to think about at the moment, though. After thousands of years of absence, being forcefully teleported back to Earth — or, at least, a place that resembled his Earth — left Baiyi bummed out. It was almost as if he had just been dumped in a completely unfamiliar place, forgotten.

Suddenly,for visiting.

If he failed to do so, the consequences would be dire. He would be booted out of the alternate Earth, back to the crack within universes. Even the Oracle Walker could not "see" what would happen to him should he end up there. However, he was sure that the Void was a more welcoming place to strangers than the crack between universes. 

"Right. So, now, we have to leave as soon as possible; that is fine by me. There was a lot I have to do back home, so I can't be here forever [1]. I just have to find a way to recharge the War God's Sword," Baiyi muttered.

With a tone of appreciation, he continued, "This phony prophet has finally done something important! I think this is even the first time that this fella has spoken this much. How does he receive his premonitions and visions, though?"

With that thought in mind, Baiyi eagerly proceeded to check out the Oracle Walker's third thought, which contained a rather strong message: 

"Piss off; you're the bloody phony! Your entire family is full of phonies! Just when did I become unimportant? Am I supposed to be seen as useless because I have no interest in the nonsensical topics that interest insolent fools, such as yourself, enjoy? Listen up, you oaf, I use up all my energy to see the future, not on trying to determine 'which girl this dress looks best on.' How else am I able to give you answers which your primitive brain cannot comprehend? Even you, oaf, did not know you would encounter these problems, did you?" 

'Goddamned it; I hate it when he does this. It's so unfair that he can predict and prepare comebacks to rebuts that have yet to come to my mind!' Baiyi shook his head sideways, pushing the strong message to the back on his mind; he was in no mood to argue with the phony prophet today. 

"The present situation is no easier to manage than that phony prophet. Just how am I supposed to charge this sword? What a drag!" Baiyi walked along the highway, his eyes fixed on the thick, black sword hilt in his hand. 

"What drag? Have you already forgotten what Fuyuki city contains? With that MacGuffin, charging this thing will be a breeze!" The Archmage smirked. [2] 

"Didn't you get the memo? My arrival caused this world's time and space to undergo drastic changes. What we knew has changed; we might no longer have any Holy Grail wars," Baiyi replied. "Who knows if Godzilla will suddenly turn up, or maybe, well, a Pokemon? Even if we assume that the Great Grail still existed, it might have been tainted by the tear caused by my arrival. Are you sure it would still be able to charge this sword?" 

"As long as it still exists, anything is possible. What else could be more tainted that the Void in our world? It has been tainted to bad it's completely black! I mean, what else across universes can be more tainted than our very own Void? It's so tainted, it's black — pitch black! Yet, you can control the Void. What should you then fear?" The Archmage said, encouraging his heir Baiyi, who he believed would never be 'blackened' into a certain man who wears a crimson tuxedo and rocks a goatee. This man walked away from a hand-drawn formation. He turned to the priest standing beside him and said, "Hmph. I got caught out way sooner than I would have liked. It looks like this newbie isn't expendable, huh? Does anyone know this person's identity and origin? Could the person be an upshot from the Clock Tower?"

This priest, who looked capable of backstabbing the man in the crimson tuxedo, politely replied, "The Lords from the Clock Tower already arrived two days ago. One was a magus, and the other was an apprentice."

"In other words, they will not be sending anyone else; is that it? Whatever. Once I manage to summon the legendary Heroic Spirit, I will attain victory in this war!" The middle-aged man said with a nod. "Send your assassin to gather more intel, please. Your help is very much appreciated, Kirei."

"'Tis' my duty," the priest replied with a nod and then turned around. Before the could leave, however, the man in the crimson tuxedo called out, "Oh, could you also help me look after Rin, please? If that Emiya punk is able to charm my daughter, hoo boy, it's gonna be so bothersome. This stupid scum of a boy should also not even think of touching my Sakura. Goddamned it; he wants to have both sisters to himself!"

The priest nodded in understanding and left.

At the same time, Baiyi had just finished scanning his surrounding with his psychic energy, and he was speaking to the Archmage, who was in the Void, about his next move. "The energy pulses I picked up are weak and of no threat. I was unable to find any huge sources of mana around these parts; this is quite unsettling. As I remember, the Great Grail is supposed to be hidden in a mountain around here, isn't it?" Baiyi said. "Have we arrived too late into the story, after the Holy Grail Wars ended? Has a certain workaholic already destroyed the Great Grail?"

"Okay, that's bad. If that was true, you'll have to go to Romania or worse, a beautiful woman with white hair and a cute little girl. It is something anyone would instinctively caption a "happy family."

Baiyi was just in time to catch the 'Woes-Upon-Me' father asking his son about his progress on Magecraft and his training comprehensions. 

The son's expression became solemn, and he looked into his father's eyes before stating his comprehension. "People die when they are killed."

"What m**********g script were you given?! This entire story is whack!" Baiyi snarled. Even the whimsical Archmage realized that something off. "I don't know about you, but I think something's off? Is this the enormous change that the Oracle Walker talked about?"

Baiyi was about to ascertain the scale of the change his arrival caused this world when the Woes-Upon-Me Father sighed. "Our lives are so peaceful now, but how long can it last? The next cruel war of the Holy Grail is about to begin very soon. Who would have known that it is going to start so abruptly…?"

The beautiful woman hurriedly replied, "Don't worry, dear. Our Shirou and Illya have grown into excellent magi; they are already on par with the Three Founding Families. As long as we work together, even if we do not win the war, we can very well live through it."

After that, the family embraced, showcasing their heartwarming family love.

Baiyi looked completely nonplussed. 'This story is on crack!'

To his increasing dismay, the change was more drastic than he had expected. This became even more obvious as he visited key locations within the city. For example, a sadistic, geezer, who kept worms as his pets, passed away a few years ago, and the Matou family was currently being lead by an unmarried man, who Baiyi remembered, from the story, to be quite a woobie. Unlike the original story, the man had retained his sanity. His current life was an enormous upgrade; the powers he now possessed were sufficient for a magus. As a result, this 'ex-woobie' no longer looked like a neglected hobo; instead, he now had three crimson Command Spells in his possession. 

That was not all. Baiyi could not find a certain irritating boy with violet seaweed hair in the Matou household. Now that there was no acceptable target to kill in this family, Baiyi could only shake his head, after which he took his leave.

On the side of the Tohsaka family, the man in the crimson tuxedo lived in peace, despite the aura he emanated which made it seem as though he wanted to get backstabbed. Not only was his family life pleasurable and fulfilling, but his two beautiful daughters had also grown into gorgeous, young women.

The last major family to check up one lived in a castle.  Although they were so eager for the upcoming Holy Grail War that they summoned their current servant, the Berserker, the head of the family, in this world, was a loli with tanned skin. That was not all; the Berserker was no longer a giant; it had become a strange woman who had a horn growing out on her forehead. This woman had one a bridal outfit. The girls seemed to enjoy a cordial relationship. When Baiyi visited the castle, they were playing with each other in the garden. The girl with the horn even picked a beautiful flower for the tanned loli.

Baiyi took another stroll to some other places, such as the posh hotel for the rich located in Centerville to spy on the Lords of the Clock Tower, who seemed to have booked an entire building for themselves. When Baiyi dropped by, he found them engaged in intercourse. From the looks of it, the couple had an intimate relationship; no servants got between them.

On the other hand, at the residence area for commoners, Baiyi discovered that a graceful bishonen in the original story had turned into a typical victim of societal stress. Judging from his eyebags, he was probably constantly asked to work overtime.

Baiyi had to thoroughly search the commoners' part of the city before he found a light-haired middle-aged adult, who, despite displaying an air of artistic countenance, was gleefully tying up little kids with ropes in a place that appeared to be his home. Seeing this man made Baiyi feel delighted; he had finally found the only person whose character had deviated too much from the original.

Overjoyed, Baiyi spiritedly approached the man from behind and placed his hands over the man's eyes. He proceeded to grip the man's head so hard that it exploded. After that, he chopped the corpse's hand off. 

He cleaned the corpse and cleared the ensuing bloodstains, sealed the victim's memories of him away through Hypnosis (as well as commanded them to lodge a report against the man to the police), and then sat on That One Famous Bridge in Fuyuki City with that severed hand in his lap as he contemplated on his next move.

None of this followed the plot that Baiyi was familiar with. Other than the fact that the Holy Grail war was still going to happen, the fates of the characters had all been drastically altered, and an alternate development was to take place.

"The question now is this: what kind of identity shall I assume to join the war this time?" Baiyi murmured as he transferred the three Command Spells to his gauntlet. Void Flames suddenly appeared and incinerated the chopped hand into ashes. 

"Oh, will you look at that? You can still use Void Energy… which means really bad news to everyone else who's gonna take part in this war, huh? It's gonna be a breeze for you!" The Archmage pointed out. "The problem is that one must assume the role of a Master to be eligible for the Holy Grail, or we would have just skipped all of this charade and snatched it from its place immediately…"

"Oh, why am I complaining? This is great, too! Quick, make a summoning circle and summon your fated Heroic Spirit!" The Archmage changed his tone abruptly and urged excitedly. "Of course, I'll say that the best way to ensure a quality Heroic Spirit is to release me now so that I shall summon it for you."

"Nope, not with that bad luck of yours. I don't wanna end up partnering with Darius the III," Baiyi rejected his teacher's offer politely but swiftly. Yet, to be honest… What should he even use to act as the medium to summon his Servant?In this case, a character who has played dead for so long, you all have probably forgotten that they exist — the Oracle WalkerIn Fate series lore (as well as in Chinese otaku community), if someone's "blackened", it means they are tainted by an external force to turn towards the orientation of evil.Tokiomo Tohsaka. A pretty important magus from the prestigious Tohsaka family.Magi Association, based in England, situated in the most British-reference of all British references: Big Ben.Kirei Kotomine, a priest with an effed-up mind. Appeared in Fate/ Stay Night and Zero.I can not ascertain the identity of this character from Nasuverse (lack of evidence, you know), but I have a suspicion Baiyi was referring to Kiritsugu Emiya.It's Irisvile von Einzbern.Illyasviel von EinsbernThe Three Founding Families are the three families who had created this Holy Grail War system: The Einzbern, the Matou, and the Tohsaka. The aforementioned Rin and Sakura are from the Tohsaka family, by the way.It's Zouken Matou, the old head of the Matou family, whose familiars are parasitic worms.Byakuya Matou, the elder son of Zouken Matou who was unloved and regarded as a failure because (1) he was not as magically-capable as his younger brother; (2) his son, Shinji, is completely devoid of the ability to do magic, which meant that the Matou lineage of magi ended at Shinji's generation.Spells that are used to command absolute obedience from their summoned Heroic SpiritsShinji Matou, the aforementioned son who cannot do magic at allThe aforementioned Einzbern family.This is Chloe von Einzbern. She's not from Fate/Stay Night but Fate/kaleid liner. She's a "twin existence" of the aforementioned Emiya Illya.This is "Berserker of Black" (there's nothing black about her, especially not physically). True name is Frankenstein and is actually from Fate/Apocrypha instead of Stay Night or kaleid liner.The man here is Kayleth while the woman is his fiancée, Sola-Ui… who fell in love with Lancer (his servant) instead of her supposed husband-to-be. They are from Fate/Zero.The aforementioned Lancer whom the woman had fell in love with instead of her own fiance.Unfortunately, this isn't enough to help me pinpoint who this character really is; but I do have a sneaky suspicion that it's Kirei Kotomine, an assassin-turns-teacher who is very, very into his teaching job.This psycho here is Ryuunosuke Uryuu, a serial killer who is aroused by gore and whatever, with a special liking to young women and kids. Appears in Fate/Zero.Fuyuki Bridge, famous for being the final stage between Archer and Rider during the Fourth Holy Grail WarA Berserker class from Fate/Grand Order, but you might need to google him up to see why Baiyi's quite reluctant to partner up with him (hint: it's likely a very shallow reason, like his appearance).