Chapter 184 - Mama

When Zoey successfully sent Vivian Xi off, Matthew Xi cast her a side eye. His right brow crooked as Zoey was oddly silent. 

What did his mother tell her? Her silence caused a variety of conclusions to hover over his mind. Hence, his curiosity was piqued. 

"Are you alright?" He asked, seeing her nod in silence as she faced him with a meek smile. 

"I'm just happy and sad at the same time." Said Zoey, shrugging her shoulders as she began walking back towards the building. 

"Why?" Walking behind her, Matthew Xi scrutinized her back that gave off a different aura than usual. 

"I just think that Auntie Vivian is nice — that's all." Without looking back, Zoey shrugged her shoulders again. 

Matthew Xi narrowed his eyes before he took large strides. Within a fraction of seconds, he caught up with her as he abruptly held her wrist, pulling her so she could face him. 

"Why?" Much firmer and solemn, Matthew Xi repeated while he locked his gaze with her surprised pair of eyes. 

"Darling," For some reason, despite his unchanging countenance, she could vividly feel his genuine concern. "You're fired, temporarily." Zoey uttered, and slowly took a step forward as she rested her head on his chest. 

Slightly surprised by her action, Matthew Xi didn't bulge as much as he let her rest for a bit. Meanwhile, Zoey slowly closed her eyes. As she did, Zoey's mind wandered far back to her oldest memory she had buried in the deepest part of her mind. 

[Short Flashback]

"Brat!" Followed by a woman's scream, a resounding slap landed on a little girl. 

The slap was unreserved — not the kind of slap that a little girl could take— causing the girl's small frame to be tossed to the floor. The sudden pain was overwhelming such that the little girl heard a flat buzz inside her head. 

Looking up slowly, the little girl slowly raised her head as she held her already swollen head by her small hand. "Mama..." Lips trembling, tears tempting to fall from the corner of her eyes, she softly called out. 

"What?!" The woman's eyes filled with fury pierced the round and teary eyed orbs which were looking back at her. She ground her teeth, as if there was nothing that the little girl could do to quench her anger. 

There wasn't a sign of the slightest remorse even after hurting her child... and that was what broke the little girl's heart further. 

"I — I'm sorry..." Despite not knowing what she did wrong, the little girl apologized as she restrained her tears from falling. 

She knew her mother and father hated her cries and 'taught her well' how to behave herself. Hence, the little girl resisted her own emotions which were a mix of fear, emotional and physical pain. 

"Sorry?! Do you know how much that vase cost?!" Not appeased by the apology, the woman took large stomps as she approached the little girl on the floor. 

Seeing her mother draw closer, the little girl unconsciously pushed herself back as fear crawled into her heart. "Mama, I'm sorry! Zoey will not do it again! Mama I promise I won't do it again! Mama!" Yet, as soon as the woman stepped inside her vicinity, little Zoey knelt down as she rubbed her palms against each other and desperately pleaded. 

Alas, no matter how much she desperately cried for mercy, her mother grabbed her by the hair and lifted her up like a doll. 

[End of Flashback]

Zoey shut her already closed eyes much tighter as what happened next was painful to remember. If not for Vivian Xi, the untouchable void in her heart would remain buried. 

Vivian Xi's words hovered in her mind, 'Why didn't I give birth to you?'

Why must she hear those moving words from a woman she barely knew? Yet, Zoey also had to ask herself; why was she given birth by such a mother?

A mother who only taught her to hate and what violence is. A mother who never once showed her the slightest love even though Zoey never lost hope that someday, she'll change. 

That someday, for once she was perfect in her mother's eyes, she would get her acknowledgement. That they could bond just like the bond between mother and daughter in those children's books. 

Unbeknownst to Zoey, as she recalled a snippet of the past, her grip on his back tightened. Knitting his brows, Matthew Xi slowly raised his hands and rubbed her back gently. 

He then rested his chin over her head, "My boss was a little moody today... and fired me, temporarily." Comforting her with an unrelatable topic, Matthew Xi whispered bearing his unhumorous monotone voice. 

"Technically, I am off duty. So, this is not unprofessional." He added, causing Zoey to chuckle. 

No one wouldn't discern if he was joking or serious. However, the way he delivered it and under this circumstance, Zoey found his way of comforting a little silly. 

Other than that, Zoey also appreciated that he wasn't asking her questions. He just knew that she wasn't fine and comforted her in his own way without asking what's the problem. 

Ah... that reminded her of the time she had a panic attack. He was also there, never judging her and even pretended not to remember. 

Despite witnessing her bad traits, he was still here, doing the same while lending his chest for her to lean on. Having these thoughts and realization, Zoey heard her heart thump slowly but loudly. 

"I won't ask what and why... but I will wait for the day you'll open up and let me in." Glad that his way of comforting worked, Matthew Xi muttered as his eyes softened. 

Deep down, he wanted to know her, her history, all little details that only Zoey could answer. However, just now, Matthew Xi realized how heavy the burden she was carrying on her shoulders. 

He wanted to carry them with her; hold her hand until the end of this long, dark tunnel she was stuck in. 

"Thank you," through a whisper, Zoey's grip on his back loosened a little but she remained in his embrace.