Chapter 186 - I’m Sorry For Being Late.

Matthew Xi stared at her, slowly scrutinizing her side profile as his jaw tightened. His heart pounded, slow yet loud to the point that it's painful. 

"My mother used to beat me up while my father was too busy gambling. He couldn't care less if his only child died in the hands of his wife." Exhaling a ridiculing breath, Zoey gaped open as the tip of her tongue habitually touched her side tooth. 

Swirling the glass of wine, Zoey watched its reflection distorted along with it. "But that's not what I'm frustrated about; it's the fact that I hoped everything will change one day; that if I listened to them, be the good girl who wouldn't cry over a simple wound, never throw a tantrum, wouldn't complain if she's starving... I hoped they would eventually acknowledge me." Zoey paused as she downed the glass of wine. 

Matthew Xi's eyes softened as a tornado of emotion swirled around in his heart. Every word she said caused a pang in his heart. 

"Damn it." As she winced upon the heat traveling through her throat, Zoey chuckled. "Aya, it frustrates me whenever I think about it." Sighing faintly, Zoey shook her head as she poured herself another glass. 

"I mean, I can't believe I used to believe that people change for the good — can't blame the naive girl's mindset, though." Shaking her head lightly, Zoey humored as she recovered from the slight pang of her past. 

"Obviously, Zeke was the last straw who broke the girl's faint hope." In a matter-of-fact tone, Zoey shrugged her shoulders as she raised her brows. 

She glanced at the silent Matthew Xi who was just staring at her. "You know what? Maybe, if I knew you before, before Zeke... before anyone else, maybe that little girl would still be alive." said Zoey, pointing her forefinger while the rest held the wine glass. 

"I don't think she's dead."

"Oh?"

"What I see is that she's still there waiting for the day of her judgement." Never leaving his gaze from her, Matthew Xi muttered. 

For him, if Zoey had truly given up on her old self's hope, she wouldn't be here with him. Zoey would stop trying, and believing. She wouldn't care about her friends, her employees, and her adoptive family. 

"Oh..." Nodding her head, Zoey meekly smiled as Matthew Xi seemed to always see through her, and at the same time, not. 

She might hate to admit it, but Zoey lied. She lied about many things to him, yet, here he was, sitting beside her with a glass of wine in his hand. 

"This is why I'm saying if we met before — before we had s*x, I mean." Zoey chuckled, deciding not to filter her words which surprisingly didn't have any effect on him this time. "You're lowkey kind and understanding. You know I lied to you many times, right?" 

"..." If she was talking about the conversation they had in the hospital regarding her first memory, obviously he figured that out. After all, her story was full of holes which made it hard for one to believe. 

"Although technically, it's not a complete lie because that first memory is indeed the reborn Zoey's first memory." In a matter-of-fact tone, Zoey reasoned out as it was the truth. 

"You know a relationship will turn out bad if one is a liar." She added, arching her right brow and clicked her tongue as if the subject wasn't her own relationship. 

Just then, Matthew Xi patted his lap. "Huh?" Furrowing her brows, Zoey tilted her head to the side in confusion. 

"Come here," He said, as he stretched his arm and guided her head to his lap. Since she didn't struggle due to her bafflement, Matthew Xi didn't have any trouble. 

"What if we're both liars?" As he took the glass of wine from her hand, he asked. 

"It's bad romance, I guess?" Laced with uncertainty, Zoey answered as his face hovered in front of her. 

"Then, I'd take a bad romance any day." Without further ado, Matthew Xi slowly placed his palm over her eyes. "Whether it will turn bad or good, let tomorrow worry about it." He added, also in disbelief, that he'd speak such a phrase one day. 

After all, Matthew Xi was the type of person who often thought ahead of him. Therefore, he was never a fan of such sayings as he perceived it as foolish. 

However, since Zoey came to his life, Matthew Xi gets surprised everyday. Still, she made him look forward, and at the same time, worry about what tomorrow would bring. 

"What's important today is we know we're humans with emotions. Cry if it's too much, scream if things get overwhelming, and take a walk if you want to clear your mind. Don't think about what others will say — you're Zhou Zoey, after all." Giving his piece of mind, Matthew Xi uttered. 

Shortly after, he felt something moist on his palm that was covering her eyes while he watched her bite her lower lip. 

"Fool." She murmured, her voice cracked as she sniffed. If Zoey heard this from someone else, she would scoff at them. However, Matthew Xi seemed to have this magic that could touch her heart any time he desired to. 

Matthew Xi's eyes softened as she removed his hand and laid on her side. "You know I'm just lying and acting to get your sympathy. How gullible." Closing her eyes, Zoey uttered as he was too kind for her. 

"Mhmm," Alas, Matthew Xi just hummed a tune as he stroked her hair. 

After that, Zoey and Matthew Xi spent another hour in silence. For an hour, Matthew Xi had the leisure to play with her hair until she fell asleep. 

'I know that little girl is still there because I've been seeing her every night.' Matthew Xi stared at Zoey's peaceful side profile. Whenever she sleeps, she appears so peaceful and harmless. 

"I'm sorry for being late." Trailing her jaw, Matthew Xi whispered as he regretted not meeting her years ago. 

If only he had met her before even seven years ago, Matthew Xi would have married her already and showered her with all the love he had. Still, what's done is done. 

What's important was they had the chance to meet in this lifetime.. Although late, Matthew Xi would never let her experience such tragedy again because that's what his love deserves.