Chapter 662 - Why Him?

"Can't sleep?" Nikolai inquired, turning his head to Zoey who was lying beside him. 

Although they were lying on the same bed, there was this gap between them that Nikolai did not cross. Just like old times, just like when they were in their younger years, they would share a bed and just talk about random stuff.

Zoey stared at the ceiling, wondering what she should do. Initially, she wanted to take down Inigo. All her plans were for Inigo.

However, because of Nikolai's aggressiveness, there's a major turn in her plans. Now, she had to deal with Nikolai first. 

After all, Inigo would come to power seven years from now. She had time… or does she?

"I feel like if I sleep, I'd die." Zoey muttered after a long time.

"Afraid I'll smother you to sleep?" 

"No." Zoey blinked her eyes ever so slowly. "I might not wake up."

Silence ensued. Neither of them talked for a while until Nikolai interrupted the silence.

"You asked me, why you? I'm returning the question, why him?" 

Nikolai stared at the ceiling under the dim light of the room. He hadn't been sleeping properly lately -- or rather, he never had a full night's sleep. This life had granted him the skill to sleep half-awake.

"Because…" Zoey trailed off as she asked herself the same question. Upon a brief consideration, a subtle smile resurfaced on her lips.

"Because it's him."

Nikolai remained silent. He had never heard Zoey speak words with such gentleness. He didn't understand the slight pang in his heart upon hearing it.

"I hate him." Nikolai expressed calmly. "I'll kill him."

He added as he didn't like how Matthew had occupied Zoey's mind. He didn't like someone who he claimed had another master or owner.

To him, Zoey was neither a trophy nor a goal. She was his property, his pet. 

"If you do, I'll kill you." Zoey replied in the same emotionless tone. "If you ever touch even the tip of his hair or anyone, I'll kill you, Niko."

It was a little strange that their usual night talks in their younger years had turned into something more complicated right now. Yet, their tone was calm as if they didn't mean it.

But, they do.

"Then, try." Niko glanced at her. His eyes were nonchalant at her threat.

Zoey remained silent for a moment. This reminded her of her previous life. The only difference was, it was Inigo who was in Nikolai's position.

"No need." Zoey let out a faint ridiculing chuckle. "I'll just kill myself."

She added. Just like how she killed Inigo, Zoey would just shoot herself the second time. After all, for some odd reason which she could never explain, these Silva Brothers weren't afraid to die.

However, they were afraid that their prey would die before them. Whether it was because they would feel defeated or something else, Inigo and Nikolai still shared the same nature.

"Well, that's a different case." Nikolai rolled to his side, assisting himself with his palm resting on his temple and his eyes fixated on her.

Slowly, Zoey moved her gaze away from the ceiling as she looked at him. Her eyes were emotionless seeing the man in front of her was not the person she wanted to look at.

"That's low, babe. You can't just kill yourself without my permission."

"I did it once. I'll do it again if necessary." Zoey scoffed faintly. "I'm tired, honestly. Sometimes, I wonder if existing is a sin because I've always felt it was."

Thinking about her childhood brought the old thoughts and questions she had in mind. Zoey's mother hated her as if it was Zoey's fault for what happened between her mother and Zachery.

Her foster father, her mother's husband, wasn't any good either. He never loved Zoey nor did he pity the little girl while getting beaten by his wife.

Meanwhile, Zoey's biological father, Zachery, tried to kill her when he had a chance. Even though Zoey proved that she didn't intend to ruin his 'beloved' family, it didn't matter to him. Until now, Zoey knew that Zachery was waiting for an opportunity to dispose of her.

Zoey never asked to be born. She never asked Zachery to ruin her mother. She never prayed that Zachery's sin to bear a seed.

Neither did she ask Nikolai to save her that time. She didn't ask the Silva Family to take care of her nor did she ask them to train her.

It was just one misery after another. A series of misfortunes which she never asked for.

After recalling all her series of misfortune, the only salvation she had was Matthew. The man who loved her more than she deserved. 

Matthew fulfilled the void in her heart; made her feel she was worthy, that existing was never a sin, and loved her without question.

The thought of him made her smile. "I'm happy." She whispered.

Nikolai raised his brow, puzzled at  the sudden smile and words that slipped her mouth. In his eyes, Zoey was filled with regret. But, when she uttered her last remarks, he sensed it was hundred percent legitimate.

"Happy?"

"Mhm." Zoey nodded slightly as she faced him. "I'm happy to love him and be loved by him in two lifetimes."

"Two lifetimes, huh?" Nikolai thrust his bottom lips forward, pressing his lips together. "Is that some kind of metaphor?"

"Heh." Zoey chuckled, shaking her head. "You should sleep, Niko."

She said as she turned around. As she turned her back against him, Nikolai stared at her for a little more.

Slowly, he reached his hand towards her shoulder. However, he stopped midway. 

Be it in the past or now, Nikolai always felt like there's this wall he could never break around her. No matter how close they were, Zoey had always felt so distant.

The closer he got, the farther she went. And the only person who entered that wall… he hated him.

"My men found a way to exit the country. We will go by tomorrow. I'll let Ivan go, so don't be sad." Nikolai uttered as he retrieved his hand back and laid on his side of the bed.

"Thank you." Zoey whispered as she closed her eyes.

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Author's Note:

Support my new work, Wild Young Princess: Mister, let's sleep? Synopsis in Author's Note below. Please send powerstone to my new work instead <3 Thank you!