Obviously, Sarah would take that offer. Hence, Zoey sent Matthew a message telling him about it. And so the two of them headed to the nearby cafe.
"I didn't expect that you would ask me to have some tea." Sarah expressed timidly, offering a faint smile across her.
Zoey pursed her lips in a thin line. Honestly, it was just an impulse decision. Maybe because of her hormones, Zoey didn't know the reason.
For a long moment, Sarah and Zoey remained silent. It was awkward and gloomy. Sarah kept glancing at Zoey, who was staring at the tea wordlessly.
"Zoey." Sarah sighed deeply.
In Sarah's eyes, Zoey was particularly gloomy. For a pregnant woman, she seemed to be in a more distress situation, with lots of things to worry about.
"Being a mother is — " Before Sarah could relay her thoughts, Zoey interrupted her.
"How did you do it?" Zoey asked, making Sarah's brows furrow. "When you're pregnant, I mean. Back then, your husband had a mistress who was also pregnant."
Zoey paused as she slowly raised her head. Her last conversation with Sarah and Zachery didn't end well. Hence, Zoey didn't ask about these seemingly trivial matters.
"How did you deal with the thought that your beloved husband might leave you and your children?"
For a moment, Sarah stared at Zoey as her mind slightly buzzed. When she snapped back to reality, Sarah held her breath.
"Zoey, don't tell me…"
"No. Matty will never cheat on me. Not now, not tomorrow, not in the next lifetime." Zoey scoffed as she shook her head.
She had that much confidence in Matthew. They had lived for two lifetimes. Also, Matthew was not that shallow of a man.
"Then, why are you… why do you look so distressed?" Sarah inquired, with eyes full of worry.
If Zoey had this much confidence in Matthew, why does the air around her feel different?
"Hah…" Zoey scoffed as she gazed down on her tea, holding it with both hands. She must have lost her mind when she invited her to have some tea.
And yet, she couldn't bring herself to leave her immediately. Instead, Zoey felt like she needed Sarah's company — for a strange reason.
"I asked you because I somehow see some similarities." After Zoey's long silence, she muttered under her breath.
"Ever since I had Bean1, I felt restless. Not because I don't love this life growing inside me, but the worries of what's ahead of our family." Zoey's eyes softened as it glistened with bitterness and worry.
"The thought of receiving a call in the middle of a normal day telling me my husband got into an accident and died… it scares me to death. This thought haunts me even in my sleep. I tell myself, if that ever happens, I'll probably lose bean again. I will fail my bean… because I'm -- "
Zoey trailed off as Sarah's soft palms blanketed over the back of hands, which were holding her cup of tea. Slowly, Zoey gazed up, biting her inner lip as hard as she could; holding back the tears she had been holding back for a long time.
Once Zoey's eyes met Sarah's, the latter offered a gentle smile. She was never a proper mother to Zoey, but this fears… Sarah could relate somehow.
"Back then, when I agreed to act as your father's mistress despite being the legal wife, I always had this fear inside me. That fear only kept on growing, consuming me bit by bit, driving me to my ruin."
Sarah's tone was soft, caressing Zoey's knuckles by her thumb.
"I wanted to give up before it's too late. But then, I had you and your brother. And everything at the moment is just… it's never the same. From the brink of self-destruction, the two lives that's growing inside me… drove me back to my sanity. For them, I had to move forward, with or without their father. But it's still nice to have a complete family — I thought."
She paused, taking a deep breath as she recalled the time she had Zoey and Zion inside her. Those times where Sarah was begging to be loved, to the point she lost respect for herself.
After all, Sarah wasn't initially a terrible person. Circumstances drove her to her worst, and she didn't have anyone to correct her; until those two lives arrived in her life.
"Zoey, I know you love your husband and your child inside your womb dearly. So much so that you're gravely terrified about losing them in the future. I know, because I had that constant worry before." A faint smile turned up on Sarah's lips.
"But in the end, it doesn't matter. I still failed you because I was afraid and terrified. Because I didn't get rid of that anxiety which led me from hurting my daughter."
Sarah's grip on Zoey's hand tightened lightly. Her eyes softened as her tone filled with guilt and regret also exuded in her eyes.
"Don't dwell in things that haven't happened yet. I know you and I are different, you're smarter and wiser. That's why, I don't want you to get blinded by something that can only hurt you and the people who love you in the end." Sarah nodded her head ever so slowly, encouraging Zoey to free herself from these chains.
The chains that would only pull her deeper and deeper down. Once it did, not only Zoey would hurt herself, but also unintentionally hurt the people around her.
"Time just goes by in a blink of an eye. It still feels like yesterday when I had you in my womb. That's why you have to enjoy every moment with your child. They grow so fast." Sarah chuckled, humoring her with the truth.
Slowly, Zoey pursed her lips as a sigh of relief slipped past her lips. It wasn't much, but for unknown reason, Sarah's words — a mother's words — reached her.
"Thank you." Zoey murmured, as she offered her a subtle smile. "Mom."