Chapter 199 - END

[ Entry: May 18, 2021 — Night (6:31 PM) Tuesday

Struggling has been a part of our daily lives. But why are we all struggling... no, struggles are part of life itself. To live, we all undergo pain, sadness, happiness, and all sorts of emotions. By this, that means we are alive. 

Questioning why do we struggle so much is akin to the question, why do you scream during a rollercoaster ride despite knowing where it ends? It was akin to the question of why do we eat if we will let it out? Why 

Akin to the question of why do we love if the heart can change? 

Why do we live?

Why were we even born?

And a myriad of questions that no one could answer but ourselves. That was life. Full of uncertainties, surprises, unanswered questions, unfairness, and many more. 

It is always been this way. The world never pauses for anyone; the sun will continue to rise every morning and the moon will take charge during the night. We can never control it, nor we can control other people. 

But what I am certain of is we are in control of ourselves. We have the option to get up in the morning or adore the company of the moon even at the darkest hour of the night.

We have the control to hurt others or love them. To inspire or to ruin, to care or to disregard other people's feelings. And so many things we can do aside from the things we cannot. 

A year in this world is not enough to know everything and I am sure even when I spend another ten decades, I would never know it all. But that is not what is important. 

What is important right now is the present, where I don't know it all. The present where I am flawed with a lot of questions in my head. The present where I can make mistakes and learn from them. The present where everyone I care about is with me.

That is the gift of today.

Life.

Another day to live, to have a chance to learn the answer to the questions, to struggle for a bit, to love, to smile, to eat, to do everything we can all do while being alive. 

The simple things in life we fail to appreciate every day. I am guilty as charged in that. 

Still, as I write this, I am grateful for another day; I feel like tearing up. It was a rough and hell of a year for me. There were still days I feel bad, but she kept me going. Ghost Lin, who lives within me, I hope she is having a well-deserved beauty rest.

My husband, Lewis, who never asks me why nor did he raise questions, I am guilty of breaking his heart again. For I chose to be Lin Devon and not a temporary tenant in this body.

My brothers, who never ceased to amaze and irritate me, I am grateful that even when we aren't all blood-related, I found a family with them. 

Grandpa Marshall, who loved me as his own, I hoped he lived a thousand more lives.

Bella, my best friend, who treated me genuinely without filters, I hope she lives a happy life.

Derek, I hope he takes care of Bella.

Myself, who will be her own version of Lin Devon, do not forget.

They are the present of today, and I will forever be grateful for this life. ]

Devon smiled as she stared at her today's memo. A shallow breath slipped past her lips as she leaned back in the chair before her desk. 

"It's been a year since then, huh?" she murmured with the same subtle smile on her lips. "Last year, I wrote a daily thought with a heavy heart, unhealthy mind, and an empty stomach."

Since getting better, even Ghost Lin's memories fused with her, making her question whether she was Ghost Lin or the Princess. Honestly, she doesn't know. But what she knew was she was Lin Devon. 

Ghost Lin or the Princess, she was Devon Lin. Period. 

Devon snapped her eyes as she closed her laptop upon hearing the door from the bathroom open. She turned her head around to see Lewis exiting, drying his hair with a towel while he was in his robe. A

A subtle smile appeared on her lips, pivoting on her seat until her arm rested on the backrest. She cupped her jaw, appreciating this fine specimen.

Lewis raised his brows as he turned his head to her. "Like what you're seeing?"

"Absolutely." She smiled brightly as she would never get enough of him. "I am one lucky lady for sure."

"Yes, you are." He rocked his head, facing her while he carefully untied his robe and the upper cover immediately loosened. "Better?" he asked as he exposed his chest for her to see better. 

Devon narrowed her eyes as she leaned forward. "Right... my eye grade is terrible."

After lying through her gritted teeth, she stood from her seat. It had been a month since she started walking on her own, although she couldn't still do long walks. She was getting better and better day by day. She stopped in front of him and shamelessly bobbed her face to examine him. 

"So?" Lewis, who was confident on his body, tilted his head to the side. "Better?"

Devon raised her head and grinned, planting her hand on his chest. "Yes, better."

Lewis planted his palm on his hip, letting his mischievous wife grope his body. He pressed his lips into a thin line, narrowing his eyes before he grabbed her wrist. His action instantly brought a frown to her lips.

"Wife, why did you refuse to shower with me?" he asked, blinking innocently. "I just came back after my three-day business trip and I am very heartbroken."

"Husband, I had to write something." She pouted, batting her eyes adorably as her ultimate move to get his sympathy. Lewis let out a sigh, guiding her hands around his neck before snaking his arm around her leaned waist. 

"Kiss?" he requested, and he bent over. The corner of her lips stretched into a smile as she tilted her head to welcome his lips. But just when she inhaled his breath, Lewis just licked her lips and immediately drew back. 

"Taste nice," he said in a teasing tone, letting her go. "I'll go change, wife."

Devon's jaw dropped, watching him blankly while he laugh evilly as he walked away. "Husband!!"

She yelled, but Lewis just cocked his head back, grinning deviously. She scoffed in disbelief when Lewis entered their shared walk-in closet. This had been how their relationship evolved over the course of a year. It wasn't as sweet as their first, but it wasn't completely plain.

If anything, they weren't just lovers anymore. They were friends, family, and husband and wife. 

"Remember this, Qin Lewis!" she barked, hearing his faint laughter inside. Still, a smile appeared on her lips as she lay down on the bed. 

As she lied on her back, staring at the ceiling, Devon closed her eyes. Writing today's journal helped her appreciate the little things a bit more. She stayed like that until she heard the door from the walk-in closet open, and shortly, felt Lewis's weight on the side of the bed. 

"Just kidding," he said as he planted a kiss on her lips while she opened her eyes. His eyes hovered over her and they smiled as soon as they locked eyes with each other. 

"Lu, can I ask you a question?" she asked, making him raise his brows. "Why didn't you ask?"

Her question was vague, but he understood what she was asking him. He didn't answer for a long time, pondering how to answer her. 

Lewis carefully laid on his back beside her, staring at the ceiling. "Because it doesn't matter."

"Why does it not matter?" Her follow-up question was quick, setting her eyes to his side profile.

"Because I still fell in love with you." He shrugged, casting her a side-eye. "Not loving, loving, then not loving someone who wore the same face as the person I love is complicated. Even I cannot explain it, nor do I know everything exactly. But I trust my heart. I am just thankful for letting me love you and for loving me just as intensely."

Lewis rolled to his side, propping his temple with his temple, eyes on her. "Thank you, love. Even if you don't know who you are, my heart will always know who my wife and that's you." He poked her nose lightly, smiling subtly.

"So, always think you are Qin Lewis' beloved wife if there were days you feel you don't know yourself. I love you at your best and I will never deserve you if I can't love you during your worst."

Her eyes softened as she chuckled softly. She cupped his jaw, staring at him lovingly. 

"Ghost Lin or not, that is for sure..." she whispered with the same gentle smile. "... I am Qin Lewis' beloved wife."

Pleased, he bent down to kiss her on the lips. Their fate had been in a tangly mess, and both of them didn't have answers to everything. But their heart... his love would always lead to her. Wherever she was, his heart would always recognize her.

"I love you," he whispered into her lips while she smiled against his lips. 

"I love you, Lu," wrapping her arms around his neck as she closed her eyes. 

She was no longer the Princess who was trapped in the tower, nor she was the lonely soul drowning in her own sorrow. 

Both of them had freed themselves from the invisible shackles around their ankle. 

And that was their happy ending. 

-- END --

To my readers,

Thank you for staying until the end. I appreciate all your supports and for loving every character. Although I am a bit disheartened by the fact that most want Ghost Lin to make the sacrifice.

I understand you want the Princess and Lewis to be together and get their happy ending. However, Ghost Lin is a character who also deserves a happy ending. Just like everybody else. Whatever happy ending means, that is. 

Just so you understand my point, let me explain. Ghost Lin is someone who had always fought for everything in life until she was drained and empty. And yet, the only love she gets is an abusive love or something shallow. She never received love from her family, who instilled that her existence was insignificant. 

Just a little love is all she needs to go on, but she received nothing. Just like in this novel, you liked her character but also not because... she is not her best. 

Because she was different, because she failed life once, and because her life will cause another person's suffering. 

Was it that wrong to exist? Those questions hovered over my head, reading some comments during the past chapters. And I must say, readers who said they will drop this novel didn't hurt me in the slightest. I absolutely don't care. LOL. 

But what hurts me is that Ghost Lin had to experience the same situation where she is not needed. Where people just want her to die. The characters I write in my novels exist in my heart. So, my heart hurts for her. 

I'm just glad that she still finally felt loved. The Princess loved her unconditionally, giving Ghost Lin the happy ending she deserves. That is her peace. 

BOW.

Anyway, there will be 2 side stories after this. Thank you for joining me on this journey. I will take an indefinite break, but this is not my last novel... hopefully. >.> 

It was a good journey with you all and I am happy to share this story with you.. I am now signing off along with Wild Young Princess: Mister, let's sleep? *waves slowly*  Adios.