Chapter 153 - I Love You With Every Fiber Of My Being

Devon swallowed down the frustrating tension in her throat while staring deep into his sincere eyes. Should she tell him? Or not? Her lower lip trembled as it parted, but she closed them again. 

The only reason she was hesitant to tell him about it was that it was Quentin — the real one. She knew him and was aware of what he could do. Moreover, he was Lewis' brother in this life. 

So, she could not help but asked herself if she should tell him or fix this herself. 

"I... couldn't fix this myself, can I?" came out in a helpless whisper, realizing that she held no power in this world. Although it was almost the same in her previous world, she had a title to uphold. 

That title, the empress, had given her greedy allies who wanted to use her as the figurehead and dethrone the emperor. How about in this life?

"Love." Lewis let out a deep sigh while cupping her cheek. His eyes never left hers as he nodded reassuringly.

"Of course you can do it yourself. It's you, after all. You can always manage on your own." His voice was gentle, that was enough to soothe her worry. "But was it too much to let me in? That's why I'm here, right? So you wouldn't have to go through everything on your own?"

He was correct, and Lewis meant it. Be it before her accident or right at this moment, Lewis had always thought she could live on her own just fine. Devon had always figured things out and frequently surprised him.

"Lu." Her eyes softened while she held onto his wrist. "Quentin... my brother..."

Devon stabilized her breathing while unknowingly gripping his wrist tighter. Lewis sported a forced smile and raised his brows as he wait for her next words patiently.

"I think Quentin is... Julian," she confessed under her breath, studying his reaction.

His brows creased along with his forehead as he absorbed this information. There was nothing but silence between them. 

"I know it sounds crazy. I mean, I know you're trying your best to understand my circumstance, and blaming your brother for being someone else is unbelievable." Devon broke the silence with an explanation and a ridiculing chuckle. 

After studying this world, she knew that whatever she was saying had made her look crazy. But since it was Lewis, she wanted to be honest with him as much as possible. So no matter how crazy she may sound, she had told him her truth in hopes he would at least believe it even the slightest.

But this had involved his brother.

She couldn't ask him to choose between the brother who grew up with him and Devon just suddenly came into this world, right? That was just selfish of her. 

"I, uh, hah..." Devon cleared and throat and chuckled awkwardly, drawing away from him. "I mean, it's alright. You don't have to believe me right away. I'm just saying — I, I'm just tired and spouting nonsense."

Devon looked away and laughed lightly, changing the mood around them. She knew it. This was too much for Lewis to believe her completely, and she totally understood that. 

"Hey, hey," he called gently, holding her hand that made her look back at him. "I believe you, Dev,"

Just those words paired with the sincerity flickering across his eyes caused her eyes to well up. She knew that instant he meant it, and relief was an understatement to explain how it felt to be understood.

"I believe you, Dev, at least, I believe what those eyes spoke." Lewis smiled bitterly while staring into her eyes. As mentioned, they had lived together that he knew whenever she was being sincere or was trying to hide something from him. 

Her eyes told him, 'please, listen to me,' and he couldn't turn a blind eye to it.

"I know it's hard to believe it. I... I can hardly believe it myself. As I said before, I don't believe in such things." Lewis breathed his words out as he shook his head lightly.

When he gazed at her again, a helpless exhale slipped past his lips. "I don't believe in such things, Dev. Until now, I don't. But I believe you, always."

Her heart warmed up, melting at the presence of his burning love. Lewis didn't just blindly believe her this time, nor he made her feel that he was just saying things she wanted to hear. 

There was doubt, and they were both aware of that. But there was also trust, which was far more dominant than that doubt.

"Thank you,' she whispered along with her ragged breathing, feeling relieved that he didn't think of her as someone crazy. "Thank you, Lu."

"You don't have to." He smiled and cupped her cheek, wiping the tears with his thumb. "I should be the one thanking you for trusting me."

She pressed her lips into a thin line, suppressing herself from crying like a baby. She was relieved and beyond scared at the same time, but Lewis was right.

They were a team. They were in this together.

For better or for worse.

*****

Devon cried everything and released all her stress while he just wiped her tears. Once she recovered, Lewis asked her if she wanted to go to the shore and just walk with him.

The two of them walked along the coastline with bare feet, holding each other's hands. The soothing sound of the waves caressed their ears. It was akin to a beautiful and calm orchestra.

Whenever he looked at her, Lewis would catch her looking at him. They could not help but chuckle each time.

"You took me here because you were jealous of Arthur?" she inquired, breaking the tranquil silence between them as she stopped in her tracks. Devon pivoted on her heel, looking up to face him squarely. 

Lewis pressed his lips together as he tilted his head from one side to the other.

"Well, I don't like it when you think of another man, that's for sure. But that's not it." He took a step forward, snaking his arms around her lean waist, and pulled her against his body. She placed her fist on his firm chest on instinct, gazing up at his playful smile. 

"When you mentioned about it and saw how your eyes glimmered with enthusiasm, I thought to myself, why I hadn't done that?" His voice grew deep as he bent over. "I want to take you to many places, Dev. I wanted to venture and discover the world with you."

Her eyes softened as she subtly smiled. "Lu..."

"This world used to be just grey in my eyes. Every day, every person, everything, they were all the same to me. It never crossed me that there's actually beauty in it nor how colorful this world can be." Lewis chuckled, recalling the life before her, before them. "I know, at the back of my head, there's something good in it. But even if there was, I often tell myself everybody else is just... mediocre. Their taste is low."

Devon chuckled. "Aren't you arrogant?" 

"I am. You just haven't seen it yet, but many people had told me I'm too arrogant for my own good." Lewis shrugged his shoulders, finding zero faults in admitting this 'flaw'.

"Anyway, I don't care about anyone else in this world more than I care about you." He cleared his throat, letting go of her waist, and held her shoulder. He slid his hand down to her sleeve until he clasped both her hands.

Lewis took a step back, creating a distance between them. Devon just smiled, unaware of what this man was thinking. 

"Did you know? I never thought about how colorful this world can be; it is beautiful. I never also thought that there will be a day that I will look forward to waking up and see you next to me. I thought sleep is important, it still is, but having you beside me is what makes it... special, magical. I love how you feel under my embrace and how your warmth simply melts my heart." Lewis stared into her teary eyes, as she couldn't help it. 

"It's funny how I thought I had already figured things out, but you proved me wrong. I don't. There are more things to learn, to see, to be aware of, to be thankful and be glad about, and things to acknowledge."

He released her hand and took another three steps back. Devon raised her brows in confusion, but they soon dilated when he shrugged and slowly bent down on his knees.

Lewis shoved his hand inside his pocket while he resumed stating his sentiments.

"I am scared, Dev. Just the sheer thought of going back to those grey days, those days coming home with no one waiting for me, those times I don't have anyone to share things with, or just waking up on an empty bed... that scares me more than anyone in this world." He confessed as he held on to the small box in front of him. "More than the mortifying thought of going back in those days, when I'm alone, I look forward to our future."

"With you, those thoughts vanish and are replaced with thoughts of venturing the world together, sharing secrets, pain, joy. With you, I find comfort despite the underlying fears that are devouring me," he continued and opened the box to reveal a small diamond ring. "I love how I am with you, Dev. I love how situations that are out of my control feel so normal, and how mistakes are a lesson and not a definition of a person."

Devon bit her lower lip as hard as she could, covering it with her palm. Her vision blurred as tears rolled down her cheeks, moved by his words that sounded like the perfect lyrics with the humming of the wind and sound of the waves.

"I love you with every fiber of my being, and this love only grows every minute. There were a lot of things I can list down what I want to do with you, but the first one on that list is to grow old with you." Confessing his love and fears, and the anxiety of her answer to his next question, still made his heart race. His eyes stung as his voice shook.

Lewis knew Devon loved him — although he was uncertain if she loved him just as much as he does. He always had fears, but with her, for her, he would face them all.

"Lin Devon, I mean, Miss Romanov, will you get remarry and share your world with me so we can create our own?" he proposed with hopes in his eyes. 

Devon laughed through her tears. Her emotions were all over the place, but she had to get it together.

"You remembered my name?"

"I have a good memory and I always pay attention to you." Lewis shrugged and chuckle to ease his nervousness. "So?"

"I would love to, Mister Qin," she answered in between her hiccups.

Lewis heaved a sigh of relief and patted his chest. "That scares me."

"You know the answer already." Devon chuckled, watching him take out the ring as he stood up.

"No, I don't. I'm arrogant and confident in many things, but you cut that horn and put me in my place." He humored with a chuckle.

She only glanced at him and shook her head before gazing down. Her eyes fixed on his hand that was holding hers as if it was fragile, sliding the ring on her finger.

"It was beautiful," she whispered before gazing up at him.

"No. You are." His eyes softened as he bent over, planting a kiss on her lips. "Thank you and I love you."

"No, thank you and I love you more, Lu." Devon closed her eyes, standing on her toes as her arms wrapped around his neck.