Chapter 142 - He Kissed Me

"... can you forgive me?"

A deep sigh escaped Devon's lips. Could she forgive him? It was not like he had done something so wrong.

"Lu," she cajoled, reaching for his hand and squeezed it lightly. "It's not like you did something horrible. I just want you to understand that for me to learn, I would get hurt because that's life. All I want during those times is for you to stay by my side."

Devon's eyes softened, using her other hand to cup his cheek. "Love, I appreciate your effort, I really do. I just don't want you to sacrifice something because of me. You don't mind, but I do. It matters to me."

Lewis stared at her, licking his lips before sighing. He knew the problem, that was why he didn't tell her. The intention was good, but Lewis was aware he could be extreme sometimes. Take Dion's situation, for example. Dion had friends, but everyone was wary of him because they were scared of Lewis.

"I'm also sorry." Devon pursed her lips as she gazed down. "I knew your intention was good, but I let my emotions take the best of me. I should've listened and gone inside instead of insisting on staying outside to talk."

"It's... fine."

"Are you angry?" she inquired, seeing that Lewis was avoiding her gaze. "Can you look at me?"

When Lewis set his eyes on her, she repeated the question. "Are you angry?"

"No. I'm just a little... confuse, that's all." Lewis cleared his throat, shrugging his shoulder. "I know what you said were your truths, but I don't know. I just can't seem to understand why are you protecting Quentin?"

"Because he is not..."

"I'm jealous too. You, saying all those stuff, Dev, it's hard to put those two together. I love you and I am trying to understand. I just... it makes me feel..."

Devon squeezed his hand, as she understood that. Now, with a clear head, she knew that he was not perfect. Ghost Lin and Quentin were in a relationship in the past. Lewis had probably known that already.

"You said, 'we still have a long way to go'. You might have some doubts about why I had said all those confusing things, but it's definitely not because I'm trying to protect anyone else but myself." A weak smile resurfaced on her lips, taking a deep breath.

"I may sound selfish, but I am always selfish, Lu. But after meeting you, I unconsciously think about doing things with you in mind. I love you." Devon reassured solemnly, staring deep into his eyes. "Even if you try to look at my heart, you're the only one in there... and I planned on keeping it that way."

"I'm scared," he confessed, creasing his brows as he let out a deep sigh. "I was never this content just having someone around, so it scares me that you will leave me."

At the back of his head, he still remembered how Devon was before. Although she had said something ridiculous as 'the real Devon was dead', Lewis couldn't just magically believe it. He had doubts, but he wanted to believe those words. Still, when a threat appeared like Quentin, it scared him. 

Deep down, Lewis was aware that what he had done to the De Luca wasn't entirely for Devon. He had done it because he was afraid that she would leave him for another man. 

"I'm... scared to." She sported a smile, moving closer to him. "That you will find someone better, and someone who is equally successful as you are, but I think it was just normal. We're new to this, and we're still figuring things out. We were both wrong in dealing with this issue, but who's in the right is not important. As long as we had a mutual understanding and respects it, we will be fine."

"Don't leave me," Lewis uttered, almost sounding like a request. If this was before, Lewis knew he could recover. He loved her too deeply now that he couldn't see life without her anymore. 

Hence the fear of losing her.

"That will never happen, but can you promise me you will not hurt yourself again just because you want to protect me?" Her brows raised, eyes hopeful as she stared into his eyes. "You are the most precious person to me, and I don't want you to sacrifice everything you had built for me."

His lips parted, but no words came out. It felt strange that she wanted to protect him, even though he didn't need it. Not that it was something bad. He wasn't used to others wanting to protect him, that's all.

"Alright." He nodded, sighing for the nth time. 

The corner of her lips stretched into a smile as she leaned forward, planting a kiss on his lips. Lewis's brows raised as she drew away a little. 

"I love you, Lu," Devon asserted under her breath, making him lean forward for another kiss.

"I love you more. It's scary," he whispered, showering her with kisses until the brief kisses deepened. 

Unconsciously, she clasped his shoulder as his hand wrapped around her slim waist. The next thing she knew was her back feeling the softness of the mattress, as neither of them broke the kiss. 

"Lu," came out a whispered as Devon panted for air when he drew his head back. His eyes hovering over her were darker than ever, resting his hand on either side of her.

She pursed her lips into a thin line, taking notice of what his eyes wanted: HER. His eyes told her he wanted to claim her, and she didn't feel any slight hesitation to give it to him if he asked.

"I love you," his voice was rasped, bending over to plant another kiss on her lips. "And I want you so bad."

Her breath hitched as he trailed kisses on her jaw down to her neck. Devon was unconsciously gripping his shoulder as she shut her eyes. Feeling his soft lips touching her skin, along with his hot breaths.

"Despite that..." he stopped kissing her neck as he drew his head back to look at her once again. "... I love you that I can't do this to you right now. This is how far I will go."

Lewis placed a soft peck on the tip of her nose, then kissed the bridge of her nose, then her forehead. He knew she was scared, and he didn't want fear dominating her on their first. Also, he didn't want jealousy dominating him.

"Thank you," she whispered, and he smiled subtly.

"So, are we good now?" 

Devon nodded, smiling, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "We can kiss more if you like."

"We can kiss more if you like," Lewis repeated, bending over as she giggled against his lips. 

The two of them kissed for as long as they could remember, putting the issues behind. They knew they had a long way to go, and having misunderstandings here and there would occur at any moment. They were still learning. Things such as being overwhelmed by emotions and the fear of losing each other would always be there because... that's how they love.

******

Two months had passed since then. Devon and Lewis had minor arguments they had resolved and their lives went back to normal.

"Dev, what are you doing?" asked Bella, casting her a look while Devon gazed at the laptop's screen intently. They hadn't been hanging out, so they thought of visiting Devon's place with Mike and Dion. 

"I am jobless." Devon let out a sigh, shifting her eyes to her. 

Upon hearing this, Dion could not help but scrunch his nose up. "You are jobless by choice!" 

"Dev, you got several offers after your first gig. But you had accepted none of them." Mike nodded, agreeing with Dion this time.

Devon pursed her lips as what they said was right. Although the movie wasn't out yet, she had received a few offers, thanks to Director Fang's connections. Apparently, Director Fang bragged about her just to anyone.

"They don't match my schedule," came out a muffled reply as she frowned. "I had enrolled in a few classes. Some are scheduled in meeting Grandpa."

"I see. What a dilemma." Mike nodded in understanding. "I also refrained from accepting jobs while I recover."

"Yes, please recover quick and leave me alone!" Dion grumbled as Mike had been staying in his place for quite some time now. It was all because Mike couldn't go to rehab, or it would ruin his career once a word about it was out.

"Rich people." Bella shook her head as she had to work twice as them, and only now she got a day's rest. 

"What do you mean, rich people? You have money." Mike cast her a look of disdain.

"I'm paying a lot in my security." Her eyes rolled, picking up popcorn to her lips. "I don't want him berating me with facts."

"Right!" Mike's eyes glistened with interest as he faced her enthusiastically. "What's the score between you and Mister Wang?"

As soon as Mike asked her that question, Devon's and Dion's ears perked up as they cast their eyes on her. Bella and Derek had gone on a date and since their schedule was packed, only now they could talk about this kind of stuff.

Bella pursed her lips, scanning the three of them. Her cheek blushed as she recalled her date with Derek.

"Well.... he kissed me."