Chapter 59 - Doggo’s Diary

It has been almost a day since milord's expedition began.

I decided to start writing down my daily experiences in a journal every evening from now on because I want to get a little bit better at expressing myself through writing. I can also look back on these records in the future should I forget about something important. But more importantly, I can just tell myself that I'm talking to milord when jotting things down here. I know it's a little ridiculous, but I feel closer to him when I'm around books.

I'm glad my parents taught me how to read and write, so I could one day take over their farm. It is very hard to survive without being able to read contracts, after all. Still, the main reason I want to get better at writing and reading is because I feel like milord's future plans will have a close connection to them. Why else would he send us out to buy lots of books? Sure, he might just want to get surprised by some new, random reading material. But I don't think that's the reason. When he talked about our task, milord was unusually passionate, so I think it's something close to his heart.

Milord's departure has left me a little bit sad, but I think I'll be able to deal with it.

In the morning, we brought Quinn to the first floor of the dungeon. This time, we actually let him fight a few Goblins, as he has finally fully physically recovered. He managed to kill quite a few of them while we protected him, but he also got exhausted really quickly, so most of his time in the dungeon was spent recovering from his fights. I'm really happy that he didn't have to go through the same thing I did, though. When I killed my first monster, I felt absolutely horrible - but he didn't. I know this sounds a bit weird, but I'm relieved. This way, he will grow stronger more quickly and will be able to support milord's plans faster.

When we returned home to eat lunch, we also stopped by at a few bookstores and vendors on the way. One of the clerks recommended to me a work of romance that is - apparently - quite popular amongst girls my age nowadays. Because milord said that it doesn't matter which books we get, I decided to spend 500 valis and buy it.

Quinn wouldn't be able to keep up with us in the dungeon and needed to recover anyway, so we left him back at the base and spent the rest of our day, until the early evening, descending to deeper floors.

Reaching a staircase leading to the eighth floor wasn't too difficult, but I got a little bit worried when we got there. What kind of monsters would await us beyond that point? Well, I ended up quite disappointed. There were just more Goblins and Kobolds, although they were significantly stronger this time. If Jakk hadn't warned us, we might have been taken aback and hurt. Considering the difference in strength, we might have even been heavily injured. Still, that didn't happen and we managed to breeze through large parts of the eighth floor without a problem. After all, while they might have higher stats, their minds and resulting movements are the same. It's incredibly easy to deal with them. It is still a little bit tricky to handle huge groups of them, so I only managed to fight against four Kobolds at once today. I have to admit that I'm a little bit jealous, though, because Kalin was able to fight with six of them at the same time.

I know I shouldn't be this competitive and I feel ashamed. I should be happy about milord's forces growing stronger! I'll do my best to become less foolish in the future.

Averin didn't hunt many monsters today and just kept Jakk company in keeping us safe. Still, he seemed to be quite happy to have the opportunity to accompany us from now on.

Like always, I prepared a nice supper for everyone, then we all went to our own rooms to get ready to sleep. That was when I decided to write this.

I hope milord is safe and sound. I can't wait for tomorrow! After all, I'll be one day closer to his return.

-----

I had a nightmare today. I saw… something I really didn't want to see. The death of my parents. Their faces. The pain and sorrow, and also that glimmer of hope in their eyes. And the lecherous gazes of the monsters that killed them.

Why did this happen? Ever since I started to follow milord, I never had a nightmare, but today, I woke up many times and just sobbed uncontrollably. Is it because milord, my pillar of support, isn't here? Is it the separation that makes me feel lonely, causing these memories to bubble up to the surface? I don't know.

I miss milord. I really don't want to think about that day anymore.

It seems like I wasn't the only one plagued by bad dreams today, as Quinn also hadn't slept well. After we all sat down together and discussed it, we decided that Averin would be spending his nights in Quinn's room from now on. His fluffiness is very ther.a.p.eutic, after all. It can heal all wounds - or at least distract from them.

Averin complained about having to do this but ultimately accepted his task. I think it is funny, though. Whenever he says he doesn't like something, doesn't he always 'reluctantly' agree in the end? Why does he have to feign unhappiness like that when he seems glad to help? Oh well, it is amusing to watch, so I can't really complain.

In any case, we let Quinn fight some Goblins again today. He can't really face Kobolds yet, as they are far too strong for him to deal with in his current state. But he doesn't seem to have a hard time facing Goblins, as he somehow managed to make it through a two versus one scenario. Any more than that and he would have been in danger, though. Still, he only got a few scratches and they were healed quickly with a Potion.

Today, I bought an old and tattered journal for 100 valis. It is written in a language that neither I nor the vendor can understand. I'm sure milord will be able to read it, though. Still, I have no clue what it could be about. For all I know, the most mundane and boring things could be contained in these pages. It could just be a bunch of scrap paper. But that will be for milord to decide, I'm not qualified.

After lunch, we actually made it to the ninth floor today. There are still only stronger Goblins and Kobolds here, but I managed to face five of the latter at once today, so I improved! Kalin dealt with seven of them simultaneously, so I'm still feeling a little bit sad for lagging behind. But I think I can deal with these feelings, they're not as annoying as yesterday.

Because we have to face slightly more monsters with every floor we descend and the floors also get bigger, we didn't make too much progress today. We just killed as many as we could before returning.

Right after we returned to the Twilight Manor, Jakk left us to our own devices, as he planned to ask Loki to update his Status. I hope everything goes well! He did seem a little bit tired today, probably because he always spends so much time alone in the dungeon after he watches over us for most of the day. It certainly sounds exhausting, I really appreciate his hard work.

Averin went to Quinn's room to be used as a hugging pillow while everyone else went to bed as usual.

I'm a little bit scared of having that nightmare again, but I think I will just think about milord as hard as I can. If his absence is really the cause for this, it might help.

-----

I felt a little bit better this morning. While I did have to see that gruesome scene again, it was only once. It seems like milord's blessing protected me. I'm glad I thought about him that much. Still, I really want to see him again.

In the morning, we accompanied Quinn to his usual training. Today, he even managed to fight three Goblins at once! If all of them had attacked him simultaneously, they might have been a problem. But their lackl.u.s.ter cooperation really isn't too hard to deal with. With how smoothly everything is going for him, Quinn tried to get Jakk's permission to face a Kobold tomorrow. He said he will try to use his skill against it, so it should work out somehow. That's why Jakk agreed to let him try. He said he would intervene if it got dangerous, but I'm still a little bit worried. I know these fears are somewhat irrational... but I can't help it.

Jakk seemed a lot less exhausted today. Also, he is definitely quite a bit stronger. I have no idea how much he has improved, as he never needed to go all out before, but he was dispatching the surplus monsters more quickly than before. And with more ease.

The book I bought today is called 'Argonaut' and about a boy with the same name. It's quite the funny heroic tale and a classic, so much that even I have heard about it before. Seeing that it cost just 800 valis, I couldn't resist buying it. Milord will surely enjoy this story!

In the afternoon, we finally found a staircase leading to the tenth floor, but Jakk didn't allow us to go there yet. He said we should - for now - just get accustomed to the monsters we were facing at the time, so we stayed on the ninth floor for the rest of the day. I improved yet again and I can now face six Kobolds at once, while Kalin managed to fight eight of them. I'm glad he is still growing this quickly!

Before we went to sleep, we had a short sparring session.

Averin didn't even complain about having to follow Quinn to his room today and even the boy seems to feel a lot better. The healing powers of these feathers are indeed strong.

-----

It has been four days since milord's departure… and I slept horribly again today. I'm so annoyed! Why does this keep happening!? I don't want to see those harrowing scenes replay themselves in my mind again and again! I really don't. I just want to forget all about them.

When I was crying alone in my room, I noticed something weird for a moment. I thought that someone was looking at me. It was just a feeling, though. I didn't see anyone.

I really miss milord. I could really use a head pat right about now.

Anyway, today, Quinn finally faced a Kobold. He said he didn't have any problems with activating his skill, as the method to do so came to him instinctively. I honestly have no idea how he does it, it just seems like he randomly grows more powerful. In any case, he didn't get that much stronger because he didn't feel a lot of hatred for the Kobold, so it managed to leave a nasty gash on his arm. After that, his strength exploded and he got a little bit muddle-headed. Thanks to his power increasing so much, it wasn't hard to kill his opponent.

Even after we patched him up with some bandages and fed him a Potion, he was still exhausted as a result of the blood loss. Originally, we offered to give him some of the more valuable healing items we have, but he didn't want them. Seeing how he fought the Kobold right before we wanted to return home for lunch anyway, Quinn said that it would just be a waste. He would feel better after a night of rest. I can't really disagree but if he tries to pull the same stunt when we are still in the middle of our daily training, I'll force him to take the more expensive medicine.

The book I bought today contained some architect's ramblings about a few houses he built. It is honestly nothing special but because it is a unique work, it cost me 300 valis. I didn't spend much time at bookstores today and just took the first relatively curious book I found. I'm kind of annoyed that it turned out to be something so boring, though.

In the afternoon, we finally made it to the tenth floor. Out of the three new monster species we can encounter there, Jakk only allowed us to face the Imps for now. They are quite sneaky and agile, but in a one versus one situation, I was still able to barely beat them. Kalin seemed to have a significantly easier time and he even requested to face two of them simultaneously tomorrow.

This evening, something strange happened. Jakk disappeared quite early, telling us that he has to pay his familia taxes. But at the time, he was blushing and fidgeting with his clothes excitedly. Why was he reacting in such a way? Is the one responsible for collecting the taxes... the girl he likes? That can't be it, right? My first guess can't possibly be correct. I better keep my eyes and ears open for more information in the future. In any case, I have never seen him like that before.

I don't really want to go to sleep today, but I know I have to.

-----

This morning, I felt just as horrible as yesterday. It didn't get any better at all. If anything, it is only getting worse. I honestly don't know what to do about it, milord. Even after I wake up, I sometimes see their faces everywhere. The wall, the creases of my blanket...

When I was crying my heart out, I felt like someone was looking at me - again. But I was all alone. Am I going crazy!? I might have been imagining things because of the slightly sleep-deprived state I was in. Or maybe it was just my general mental state playing a trick on me.

I think the others noticed that I have been crying a lot. They gave me somewhat weird looks, so maybe my eyes were a little red? In any case, they were a lot nicer to me today. Wait. That sounds wrong. I don't mean to say that they usually aren't nice to me!

I hope milord is safe and will return soon.

Quinn managed to beat quite a few Kobolds without getting hurt today. He fought them one after another and thanks to the hatred he still feels for the one that injured him yesterday, he did a lot better against their whole species. But because he fought so many Kobolds and used his skill all the time, he was even more exhausted when we left the dungeon.

I decided to splurge a little and spent 1500 valis on a collection of famous poems. It couldn't have been easy to gather all of them into one book, so the price, albeit high, seems reasonable. I'm sure milord will enjoy it, even if only because this one has a lot more pages than the ones I bought before.

Also, in the afternoon, Kalin actually managed what he set out to do - he fought and beat two Imps at the same time! I can handle one of them reasonably well by now, so Jakk decided he would let us face some Bad Bats in the next few days, depending on how much we improve.

Speaking of Jakk, he actually stayed with us for dinner today. He even praised my cooking! I'm so glad he did, because that makes me feel like I'm improving. I want to cook for milord more often so I can make him happy - and the better my food, the more elated he will be.

I don't want to stop writing this journal entry. I'm afraid to go to sleep.

-----

Something weird happened this morning. Like before, I slept absolutely horribly. I woke up repeatedly and cried myself to sleep again and again, praying for milord to protect me and shield me from all of this suffering. Then suddenly, someone patted my head. At first, I thought that milord had mastered the mythical art of remote head patting somehow. But that wasn't it. It took me a few moments, but I noticed that the hand patting my head wasn't a familiar one, so I escaped its grasp as fast as I could, warily guarding myself from whoever had stolen their way into my room.

In front of me stood a beautiful grey-haired girl about my age. She was wrapped in a cloak and felt a little bit pained and sad at my reaction. But she couldn't really blame me for this, right? After all, she just barged in here and touched me.

The girl introduced herself as 'Hel' and told me that she was a friend of milord. Apparently, when he left, she decided to watch over us all for a bit. When she saw me crying so much, she couldn't hold herself back and decided to intervene, to make me feel a little bit better.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it. But still, does this mean that she was the cause for that weird feeling I have been having these past few days? It feels a bit creepy, but even now, I can't feel any hostility for her. My gut feeling tells me that Hel and milord truly are on somewhat good terms. Seeing how she is watching over us makes me feel a little less lonely. It can't compare to the ultimate comfort milord provides, but beggars can't be choosers, right?

When I sorted through all of my thoughts and decided to thank her for her kind action, Hel just disappeared as if she had never been there in the first place. That confused me quite a bit at the time.

Quinn's training proceeded as usual today.

Seeing how I bought a collection of poems yesterday, I decided to buy something similar today. So this time I got a collection of famous songs from the same vendor, for 1200 valis. I don't really know too many of them, but a few of them had been performed during my hometown's festivals. Speaking of, I wonder if I'll have a chance to bring milord there one day? It's quite beautiful and idyllic, compared to all these plentiful dark undercurrents here in the capital.

In the afternoon, something almost went wrong. Before we could even face the Bad Bats, Kalin nearly got injured by the Imps he was facing. He still managed to defeat them but he looked at his own hands in confusion after doing so. He said he felt slightly weaker than before but couldn't really explain why and how. Well, he soon got back into shape and managed to easily kill two Imps at once again, so it doesn't seem like a big deal. Maybe he even imagined it. At the end of our daily training, I just barely managed to win a battle against two Imps as well. There are still so many ways to improve my ways of handling them, so I can't wait to get back and fight some more.

For today, Jakk had judged us a little bit ill prepared to face the Bad Bats, but I feel like we're getting closer.

I hope milord is eating well and staying warm and cozy. Is milady treating him well?

-----

It has been close to a week since milord's departure.

Today, I slept a little better. When I woke up crying for the first time, I felt a hand on my head, gently patting it. I immediately knew it was that girl Hel again. She really seems to want to help me cheer up whenever I feel sad. I didn't escape her touch this time and just muttered a "Thank you" before going back to sleep. I hope she heard it. I didn't have any nightmares during the rest of the night, so she definitely helped me out a lot. Well, my dreams still weren't particularly great, but they weren't as traumatizing.

When I woke up for real, Hel was nowhere to be found. Still, I wasn't surprised by that. She seems to like to stay in the background, undetected. Anyway, I felt like she was still around, watching over me, but I couldn't pinpoint her location. Honestly, at this point, it really could have been my imagination. Yesterday, I already realized that I have absolutely no way to detect her when she disappears.

Quinn's growth is simply stunning - he managed to fight multiple Kobolds at once! The massive stat boost he gets thanks to his skill is scarily impressive. Still, I doubt he will be able to go any further than this for a long while, as he has to strain himself a lot to deal with more than one Kobold. He won't be able to get his Status updated until milord returns, so the only thing he can improve for now will be his combat standards. Just like the rest of us. I'll try my best to support him but I'm not really that good myself either...

The book I got my hands on today is somewhat special as it's a story I've always wanted to read myself. It is called 'Dungeon Oratoria' and might just be the most famous heroic tale out there. Copies of the book are relatively rare, though, so it cost me 2000 valis. I still can't believe I stumbled across it in a second-hand bookstore! For that price, it's truly a steal. Even if milord won't enjoy any of the other books I've bought I feel like he will really like this one. I don't know why, but my gut tells me that he will value it highly.

In the afternoon, we finally faced our first Bad Bats. Their soundwave attacks are annoying and disorienting, that is for sure. It took me a few minutes to get accustomed to them and shrug them off somewhat. In the meantime, Jakk and Averin protected us, so there wasn't much danger. We somehow managed to deal with the bats. I honestly can't see myself ever facing more than one of them at the same time - unless I get my Status updated, of course. That bat just suppressed me far too much and it was so hard to catch up to it.

The Imps are still getting easier to deal with, though. Kalin managed to deal with three of them, while I'm still stuck at fighting two of them at once. There is some improvement, though, because my battles got a lot less dangerous. I occasionally had to take some Potions before but that is not the case anymore.

During our return to the Twilight Manor, I also finally noticed something weird. Ever since milord has left, we haven't been subjected to any unfriendly people. Sure, some of the vendors we talked to might have not been in the best of moods, but on normal days, we would often see ruffians and other unsavoury sorts in the distance, glaring at us. Jakk protected us from them before. As most of them weren't Level 2 adventurers, they didn't dare to approach. And the stronger ones didn't want to mess with a member of the Loki Familia, in fear of provoking a calamity. But now, those people have completely disappeared. I haven't seen any of them in a week!

The only explanation I can come up with is that the Hermes Familia is the cause of this. After all, they are responsible for our protection. Still, if they really are the ones behind this change, it is truly impressive. I didn't even notice anything for so long - remarkable!

Well, it is not like I'm known for my observational expertise, so I probably shouldn't praise them too much.

I'm worried about milord's safety and it is not a great feeling, so I hope he isn't too worried about all of us here. As for the dreams… I think I can handle them. At the very least, I'll continue to try!

Still, I really want to see you again, milord.