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Things between Xiao Zai and Chu Yun were so tense that the air around them almost crackled with energy, heavy and weighty like the atmosphere before a storm.
Whenever their eyes met Xiao Zai felt as if he only needed to keep holding Chu Yun's gaze a while longer to make him give in.
If his feelings confused him, he could tell that Chu Yun was absolutely bewildered by his own. Xiao Zai would never claim to know someone better than they knew themselves, he wasn't capable of such arrogance, but he could tell Chu Yun was attracted to him too.
For some reason he didn't want to act upon his desires.
There was nothing Xiao Zai could do about it, so he kept himself busy with his little vegetable garden, and with his morning sword practice.
Everyday he hoped that Chu Yun would join him again for a friendly spar -- but it hadn't happened again since that one time.
From what he could see, Chu Yun was busy with that maidservant of his, who really was more of a spy/bodyguard combination from what Xiao Zai had seen of her 'duties'. The two of them were always whispering in the corners, like tittering aunties with strong opinions on the people living in their street, and often Hua Nanyi would leave at night and not return until morning.
Xiao Zai wasn't an idiot, he knew all of her comings and goings were probably related to Chu Yun's professed desire to get him on the throne. He tried to ask him about the secret 'assignments' he kept sending his maidservant on but all he got was a, "it's better that you don't know."
Chu Yun didn't usually keep things from him, but he wasn't in the habit of explaining his actions either.
Fan Jiang threaded around them as if he were stepping on eggs, especially after Chu Yun got all of his surviving family working at the estate too. He must have felt as if a noose had tightened around his neck, two conflicting loyalties squeezing the breath out of him.
Xiao Zai gave him a wide berth, and the two of them almost never crossed paths.
The day of the First Prince's wedding was fast approaching, and Xiao Zai had a terrible feeling about it.
Unlike Chu Yun with his maidservant, and his letters to his family, Xiao Zai had no one he could turn to besides his dam, so he ended up pouring his concerns to him on his next visit.
"Where is your husband?" Gu Wei asked as soon as Xiao Zai led him to one of the private rooms in his wing of the estate.
Xiao Zai shrugged. "Probably out, he's being very secretive, lately."
Gu Wei frowned, sitting down at the low table. His fine robes pooled around his legs, making it seem as if he was sitting on a cloud. "I thought you had been making positive steps in your relationship."
Xiao Zai sighed, pouring Gu Wei a cup of wine. "Well, it would seem so, but Chu Yun doesn't seem inclined to admit it," he chuckled humorlessly, "he's working tirelessly behind my back to get me support from the court ministers, though."
Gu Wei drank his wine in one go and then filled up the cup again. "Why behind your back? Didn't the two of you visit the Minister of Works together."
Xiao Zai filled him on what happened then. Gu Wei listened attentively and then burst into laughter.
"Ah, I see now why he's doing the rest behind your back."
"Why?"
Gu Wei gave him unimpressed look. "Stupid child, he's jealous. He doesn't want any more unmarried omegas to be thrown at you in his presence."
Xiao Zai went very quiet, a note of warmth spread from his chest all the way to his limbs, like a strong liquor warming him from within during a long winter day. "Could that be it?"
Gu Wei snorted with a shake of his head, both the action and the gesture at odds with his polished, icy, appearance. "Yes, of course that's why. Whether he admits as much to himself, I cannot say, but his behaviour speaks for itself."
As soon as it had blossomed the light inside Xiao Zai's chest went out. "He doesn't seem willing to act on any feelings he might have."
His dam cut him another of his unimpressed looks. "I can't fault him for that," his eyes narrowed at Xiao Zai. "From the looks of it he's been avoiding you, and you've left him be."
Xiao Zai nodded. "If he wants space I'll respect that."
Gu Wei rubbed his temples, looking long-suffering. "Have you considered, that maybe you're giving him too much space?"
Xiao Zai hadn't. "How do I know the difference?"
"Well, if it's gotten to the point where the two of you barely talk, it's too much." He rapped his knuckles against the tabletop. "And please, start sleeping in the same bedroom, how long have the two of you been married? It's getting ridiculous."
---
His talk with Gu Wei gave him much to think about. On the one hand, there was Chu Yun's determination to convince the king their relationship wasn't good, and not worth sabotaging -- Xiao Zai understood the logic behind that, but if the process caused them to become so distant that it was as if the King had managed to sabotage their relationship then it would all be for nothing.
A lot of Chu Yun's actions spoke of his anxiety of 'something' coming between them.
Xiao Zai couldn't stop thinking about the conversation they had not long after returning from Minister Hu's estate. The vulnerable way in which Chu Yun had admitted Xiao Zai was all he had.
He should have done as he wanted and kissed Chu Yun right then and there.
Xiao Zai went looking for him, but he didn't find him anywhere at the estate. All the servants could tell him was that he had left after lunch, with Hua Nanyi and taken the carriage -- which meant he was visiting someone, otherwise he would have just taken a horse.
He was tired of running into circles, when the last person he expected to, approached him quietly near the stables. "Uhm, his Grace went out to meet his brother," Fan Jiang said, his eyes lowered. "I overheard him and Hua Nanyi talking."
Xiao Zai was dumbfounded. "Chu Hean is here?"
Fan Jiang had no idea of the relevance of that, and simply nodded.
How long had Chu Hean been in Zui, and why wasn't he staying at the estate? He was Chu Yun's brother. Did Chu Yun think Xiao Zai wouldn't allow his brother to pay them a visit after what happened?
Was he worried, Xiao Zai was going to do something?
His expression darkened. Fan Jiang misunderstood the reason why.
"I know my presence here causes his Highness great discomfort," he kept his eyes trained on the ground. "I know that neither his Grace, nor his Highness trust me, but I promise that-"
Xiao Zai interrupted him. "Please, feel free to tell my father how terrible our relationship is, you'd be doing us a favour."
Fan Jiang stammered, blinking rapidly, "This lowly one wouldn't. That is..."
"Don't twist yourself into knots," Xiao Zai said, quickly running out of patience. "My father expects a report...give him one."
He remained silent for some time, and then finally nodded, whispering something that sounded like 'I'm sorry' under his breath.
Xiao Zai lost his patience. "For what? Being my father's spy? Letting my brother use you to pretend you're my dam?"
Fan Jiang said nothing, his eyes still lowered in humiliation. Xiao Zai forced himself to calm down, reminding himself that most of those things weren't Fan Jiang's direct fault, he was just the easiest target.
He sighed. "Look, nothing will happen to you here. I won't hurt you, his Grace won't hurt you. Your family will be looked after. Just do your work, and spend some time with them, I'm sure you miss each other."
Fan Jiang nodded wordlessly, his lower lip almost bloodless form how hard he was biting into it.
"My brother won't bother you here either."
Xiao Zai turned away, walking towards the stables. He was going to get his horse and find Chu Yun in whatever inn he had Chu Hean stashed at.
He thought he heard something that sounded like "he doesn't bother me", but when he turned around Fan Jiang was no longer there.
---
Xiao Zai spent a considerable amount of time visiting all the high-end inns in Haolin, before remembering that there were omega-only inns, and that perhaps Chu Yun would have found lodgings for Chu Hean in one of those establishments.
He got lucky on the first inn he visited. In the dining area to the side of the reception desk, he could see Chu Yun and Chu Hean conferring with each other, their heads bent together.
Xiao Zai approached them silently and then cleared his throat to announce his presence.
Chu Yun's head snapped up at the sound, and he had the dignity to look remorseful.
"I can explain," Chu Yun started, with a grimace.
Xiao Zai sat down next to him.. "Go on, I have time."
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