Chapter 113 - MOURN

Maki thought he was special to her. But he just assumed it. That was why he was mad. He felt misled. Because he was nothing to her. Just a friend that could be cut off of her life every time she wanted. He doesn't want that, he hated the idea of becoming her friend. What he wanted was more than friendship--- but he knew very well that they could never be together. He was nothing but a nameless warrior.

Nevertheless, his emotion was ignited when he learned she was already engaged, that was why he had decided to capitulate with Tala's wishes. When it comes to that, since he can't have her. Why could someone? 

He was willing to kill her that night. He was ready to give her up. But his Yanar came back. The sweet young girl who treated him nicely came back. She lured him, and he was seduced effortlessly. 

Thinking that she would marry him, have his child, live with her until the day they died. It stimulated him, he had ravaged her, loved her, devoured her until she fell asleep. It still feels like a dream --- her moaning his name, her shivering body, her white, soft, and smooth skin. Her delicate body that he could lift and toss from every position. Her gorgeous sensual expression as they made love. It was engraved from his memory, that one night was the happiest night of all of his life. 

He was completed by that woman. And now, she left him with a huge gap too. The madness he once undergoes, the insecurities she made him feel, the anxiousness and fear he felt when she was missing. All of it was gone. The only thing that he could feel is the hollowness in his existence. 

He was numb from pain, but sometimes at the rare moments when he misses her. He cries all of the regrets sum up, that it's overwhelming him. There were periods that he just wanted to kill himself but he had second thoughts. 

Does he deserve to die? If he dies without going through this agony, will she accept him? An easy death for him-- was that acceptable? Wasn't that too unfair for the Bai? Who died unjustly alone in that forest.

She must be scared, she must be alone, she must be waiting for someone to save her. But no one came. In the end, she was killed and rotted with no one's awareness. He should have found her sooner, he should have done better--- if he did, then… 

"Maki, wake up." Tala shook Maki's shoulder as she found him sleeping in front of Yanar's graveyard again. "Why are you still sleeping here? It's been five days since she got buried!"

"What are you doing here?" Instead of answering her, he creased his brow and shrugged off her hands away from him. 

"W-what… Why are you being like this to me? Did I do you wrong?" Tala contemplated perceiving Maki's parsimony. 

Maki sneered at her and shifted her eyes to his Bai's tombstone. "You're too loud. Yanar is resting."

Tala's lips parted when she heeded what he said. She can't comprehend what was going on with him. From the day after the banquet, he had changed drastically. All he talked about was that woman. She was aware of his feelings for Yanar, that was why she was able to manipulate him up to that night.

However, these days, he was strange, she couldn't predict him anymore. What happened? Something must have provoked him to be like this? Was he regretting killing Yanar now? She had anticipated this phase of his denying his feelings for Yanar. But she was sure that he would have a different response other than this one. 

"Maki! Why are you being like this! Yanar this! Yanar that! All you talk about is Yanar! What?! Are you guilty now? Huh?" She sizzled at him. Maki glared at her, without any reluctance, he pointed the blade of his kampilan on her neck. 

"I said, you… are… too… loud. The Bai is resting." He muttered with a darkened expression. Tala was bewildered by how he treated her. Although he was a prudent person, cold, and always not in a mood. 

He had not gotten angry with her even though she asked her for outrageous favors. What was wrong? What changed him? Who took him off of her clutch? Her dog is starting to bite her. 

"You are guilty, aren't you? You don't want her to die but you are the reason for this--" she paused, sensing the sharp blade of his sword lancing her neck. It pained her and she winced from the pain. 

"Should I shut you up or you will shut up?" He said in a dreadful tone. Tala had no choice but to shut her mouth. She backed away from the danger and gape at his lifeless eyes. 

He's doomed. Now he had become a living dead, he's useless to her. A dog that maims his master was also worthless. She needed nothing from this kind of person. It was better to throw him away. However, she will not kill him as she could still be useful if something goes wrong in regards to Yanarym's death. She could make him her shield to receive all the blame.

"Fine, mourn for her, it's not like she can be alive if you waste your time here." She blurted and turned around. Leaving him behind all alone. Maki put down his sword and got back on being dazed. 

"She is right, I can't bring you back to life by sitting idle here all day." He mumbled to himself and touched the cold stone above her resting ground. Six feet above --- They were just six feet apart.

He laid down to the ground and closed his eyes imagining that she was right beside him. Like that night, when they become one under the moonlight.. She was so intimate to him, her smile, her touch, he reminisced every single detail.