Chapter 75

She was entirely his own.

From the moment he started to have a heart for her, he worried that she would reject him. He was afraid that she would fly away and decided not to be greedy since she was with him anyway. Until she came to him first, until she told him everything first, he decided to wait a little longer. Until now.

“Ashi.”

“This woman,” he thought, “She is all mine. She won’t leave me. She is right here, right next to me.”

“Yes,” Ashtie answered.

He could not wait anymore. He really wanted to have her. He wanted everything about her, hug everything of her, and wanted to fill her with him.

“I—”

He wanted to make her only looking at him.

“—want to know you.”

Ashtie had some intuition.

It didn’t mean he would just simply have her. It was something deep and deeper. “He wants to know me,” she thought, “He wants to hug me, he wants to know about my life. He said that to me. Oh my god. I got someone who says like this to me.”

Fortunately, she didn’t find it hard to breathe. She just felt excited, and her heart was pounding. The weak intoxication disappeared. Her mind was truly vivid.

Ashtie raised her hand. That hand didn’t hide her mouth. It trembled even more. Nevertheless, the little hand that fell on the man’s cheek was only soft and warm.

Lu Harve rubbed his cheek on her hand. Silence. But even that silence was warm. Lu Harve held her lightly and sat her gently in the middle of the bed. The chemise gently whiffled. Her smooth skin was revealed once again. It was like a tremor that could not be concealed.

Lu Harve bowed his head and kissed her shoulder deeply as if to bury his breath. Ashtie held his shoulders and soon almost hugged him with her arms. After he kissed, like inspiring a breath, he opened his mouth slightly.

Of course, this wasn’t easy for him. He was on the bed in a robe. With her, that he wanted so much. She was staring at him with moist eyes, rubbing her red cheeks from time to time with her small hands. He really just wanted to embrace her to the fullest.

However, it was his choice that endured all this stunning and greedy desire so far, only for this delicate lady. Finally, this day came. The time promised with her. He was satisfied with this full night that he could hug her over and over again. But he believed, if he would wait for a little more, he could have more delicious fruit. So, there was no hesitation in speaking.

“I have something to ask you.”

Ashi…a voice whispering a nickname came out softly.

Ashtie willingly answered.

“Yes, tell me. Lu Harve.”

Lu Harve continued to say while he breathed on her smooth shoulder.

“You said you would not return to Skara.”

Ashtie nodded.

“I wonder if it is somehow related to what you said before to the head of the diplomatic department.”

Lu Harve looked up and looked into Ashtie’s eyes.

“I wanted to know, Ashi.”

He was the king of one country and her father. He vividly remembered, she bravely said what he did was the failure and trembled her tender body.

What Lu Harve knew at least, she wasn’t the person who would say like that to someone. She spoke sarcastically cold to Skara’s two princesses before, but that was it. Literally, she always had a smile, spoke elegantly, and spread her simple scent, and walked like a willow. So, if she said that much, it probably had some deep reason.

He wanted to know that. Maybe it could be related to the tears she sometimes showed, and the dance that she wants to convey would be the clue. It would not be very difficult to guess, but now he wanted her to tell him. Not from the reports of Etutu, not from the rumors of the social community, he wanted to listen from her. The deeper stories, the more intimate stories, more than what he got to know while he spent time with her. After he got to know her everything, then he wanted to have her in his arms, he wanted to have her perfectly.

So, Lu Harve whispered to her again.

“Ashi, I want to know you.”

He gently swept her back with the touch of soothing a child.

“Can you tell me?”

Ashtie closed her eyes. Lu Harve called her again. Even the haste was careful.

“Ashi. I want you to do that.”

“Ah,” she thought, “This heartrending voice again.” As she closed her eyes, she overlapped her hand over Lu Harve’s hand.

“Yes. I can tell you. Lu Harve.”

He was the one she trusted from the beginning, and he was the one who softly touched her right at the moment. “I think I can tell him everything,” she thought, “He is still reaching his hand like this.”

“My mother…” she said.

Ashtie opened her eyes. She blinked her bright yellow eyes and watched Lu Harve and grasped tightly her hand that held his. The other hand came down along his shoulder and held the hand, too. It was a big, hard, warm hand. So, Ashtie only had a short moment of worrying. The following words went out quietly.

“…was a free spirit.”

Lu Harve nodded quietly. That’s a fact he already knew. She knew, but she continued her talking, slowly, picking up the suitable word.

Of course, her swayed heart was complicated. She felt dizzy from the floating memories while she was digging up the past. But tears would not come out. There was nothing spilling. It was just calm. It was strange. She felt like she even didn’t need to dance to calm her mind. It was odd. She had never said this in her life. But she didn’t feel hesitant. It even felt amazing to her. No, it was not an odd thing, because—

“My mother and I were alienated from the royal family.”

—This man who looked at her comfortably—

“It was the same… after my mother passed away.”

—Embraced calmly, whatever she said or whatever she did, without hypocrisy or pretense or ridicule.

“I… wanted to pass down to anybody the dance that I learned from my mother.”

The person who had always been since the first time. He held her hand tight. It was natural that tears didn’t come out.

“But I could not do that in there.”

He just nodded. The warmth settled down. It soothed her swaying heart. She felt like she could smile.

But there were still more things to say. Ashtie bit her lips for a while.

“I’ve been close to L’avenant for a few years, but I actually—”

“I actually,” she thought, “Could not open my mind fully to anybody. I was afraid to lose somebody again.”

“—I’ve been alone… in that royal palace.”

“But now I have you,” she thought. Ashtie gently touched Lu Harve’s hand.

“…Lu Harve. My mother is always with me.”

She opened her lips again. It was not just bitter.

“And I don’t think that the king is my father.”

That was why she didn’t return there. For a second, she trembled again. Ashtie tried to bite her lip again.

But Lu Harve touched her lips with his finger. She could not bite her lip. Soon, he gently swept her tender lips. It was like he was soothing it.

“I see,” he said.

Then, Lu Harve hugged her lightly. The thumping sound was transmitted to each other.

“I see, Ashi.”

“Lu Harve. That is why I wanted to stay here.”

He nodded again. Ashtie decided to step closer to such a man. She raised her hand and wrapped it around his shoulders, and put her lips to his right shoulder.

“…Because you reached your hand to me.”

Her voice and the breath that came out from the deep trembled. She closed her eyes.

“Ashi.”

“Yes.”

Lu Harve brushed down her long hair. He had lots to say, but he wanted to say this first.

“It is good to hear.”

“Yes?”

“…You.”

She felt like she heard light laughter. He patted her delicate back.

“Thank you, Ashi.”

“…”

“I think you are similar to me, but different.”

“…”

Ashtie looked up. She wanted to see his eyes.

“I have one more to ask.”

“Yes?”

The serious red eyes; the bright yellow eyes had him.

“Please tell me. Lu Harve.”

She said that, but in fact, it was something he never asked anybody before. Suddenly, he felt thirsty.

But Lu Havre did not reach for the glass. It was more encouraging to have this warm, delicate, and small body.

“Ashtie, if you think like me.”

Lu Harve closed his mouth slightly. Soon, he took off his lips again.

“Tell me.”

“Do you want to know me too?” he thought, “do you think of me as I do to you?”

Ashtie found this to be the most important story in their relationship.

If she would think about him.

She answered affably, “Of course.”

From some point in time, she thought about him. She recognized him as a man and cared about him. “I realized a lot through him, and I was able to step forward little by little. It was like a warm, soft light. A white and yellow light. It was something that makes contact with the roots of my life. The peace and happiness that I hoped for from the beginning. It was the light I could only see thanks to him. It was totally from him. Soaked in grateful happiness, I soon hoped this.”

“If I can be a light to you as well. ”

So, Ashtie did not hesitate.

“Lu Havre.”

She smiled.

“I want to know you too.”

Lu Havre closed his eyes.

And soon, he opened his eyes again. He touched her cheek and kissed her red lips.

“I see.”

“…”

“Thank you. Ashi.”

But thanking was not enough. It was not exactly that simple mindset. Lu Havre unconsciously clasped hands. He closed his eyes again.

“…”

It wasn’t because he didn’t know what to say first.

“I have something to tell you.”

Lu Havre smiled very faintly.

“Yes,” she said.

“…”

“Please, tell me.”

There was a slight smile on her face. Then she put her small hand over his hand, and a soft thing fell down on his fist.

Lu Havre thought again. He wanted to have this woman completely, and she was willing to take her story out. Moreover, she said she wanted to know about him. He never heard that in his life. So, he felt enough.

“It’s about my mother.”

“…”

Ashtie raised her hand. It was almost unconsciously.

“Yes, Lu Harve.”

Then, she grabbed his shoulder softly with one hand. The other hand lightly touched swaying purple hair.

It was soft. Ashtie called him once again.

Without reason, she just wanted to do so.

“I want to know.”

The delicate hand brushed the short hair again. It was like brushing the hair.

Lu Harve was now not sure if he was laughing or not.

“Ashi.”

But he continued to say. Calling her name already made his mind much harder.

“The first thing I remember is nothing else.”

“…”

“It was the curse that my mother poured on the king.”

Her eyes became wide. The touch that brushed his hair slightly slowed down.

“She always did that in front of me.”

It was as if there was no blockage in speaking.

“She didn’t hesitate to make blistering remarks.”

The thing he held alone in his heart easily came out once he started to talk.

He was not sure of the reason why. It could be because he made his mind hard in front of her right at the moment, or he just wanted to speak as if it was nothing. All kinds of things passed at the same time. Again, he took one step further.

“What happened to the concubine that uttered the king,”

Ashtie held him in her arms.

“…you would…”

The words blurred. Ashtie followed.

“Yes.”

“…”

“Lu Harve.”

But she dared to say she would know. She closed her eyes.

The child remembered everything about the mother. She was the witness, so she didn’t doubt. The mother was the light of the world. The child grew under that light. Nevertheless, the child also remembered all the words of malice.

But if those words came right from her own mother, even if it was not toward him, he remembered everything. If he just “remembered” that malice, it would be better. Its influence was not immeasurable.

Besides, the mother of this man came from Han. It was obvious that the royal family would look down on her. She knew what that would feel like, even though it was a different direction than she had. Moreover, people from Han are proud of themselves on the battlefield. Why did such Han become the king’s concubine?

Ashtie was well aware of the answer.

She was also broken, helpless by the power of the king.

So, the malice would have been wild, harsh, and frightening if she had revealed it without hiding a bit.

“…And when I had the coming-of-age ceremony,”

Lu Harve went on. His warmth and breath were mixed because he had the lady in his arms, but his emotions were rather clear.

“My mother stabbed a knife on the throne and killed her self.”

It was not sadness. It was something darker and damper than that, and a flat voice made it darker.

Ashtie could not figure out what face she had to make. Lu Harve could not see her face but felt her trembling shoulders.

But the words still remained.

“My mother’s will was to not believe in feelings.”