Chapter 82

When she opened her eyes, she definitely felt pain. Her vision was blurry. Tara moaned.

It was strange. Before she fell unconscious, the last thing she remembered was getting hurt. But she had gotten a wound on her shoulder, so why was there pain in her stomach and thighs? Is this not the pain of a wound? Then what is it?

Tara blinked. She was extremely dizzy. This was the first time she had felt such dizziness. This time she blinked twice quickly. Even then, it remained dark. She had to wake up―

“Tara.”

She got goosebumps. Tara opened her eyes wide. A man was in front of her.

These red eyes.

Tara raised her hand. It was when she was about to point to him that he swiftly pushed her hand down.

“Did you sleep well?”

She was so surprised that she couldn’t speak. When Tara opened her mouth to speak, he kissed her.

“Even upon waking up, you look lovely. Tara.”

Drunk on the drugs, Tara was unable to control her body, and the king had his way with her several times. It went on for several days. His body was trained for it, so he did not get tired.

And Tara.

“Tara.”

He had drugged her so badly that she couldn’t get up from the bed. She would wake up and be raped by him, then raped until she fell asleep, then raped again when she woke. He fed her a couple of spoonfuls of thick soup, dropping its contents on the bed, then fall asleep again. For several days and nights, she lived like this. To be exact, from the day she had gotten injured to now, she couldn’t even be sure how many days had passed.

For the prolonged time that he raped her, she was unable to resist him. If she tried to scream, he would block her mouth, and if she tried to get away, he grabbed her wrists tightly in place. The soldiers were securely guarding the king’s door, and even if they had not been there, she would not have been able to defeat him. She was too weak to contend with him. The fact that she was losing already made her fall into a hole of depression. Additionally, the fact that she was being raped by the man she trusted.

“You are pregnant.”

Horrific days ensued. It continued endlessly.

Then she heard those words.

Instantly, Tara realized it. That all this was part of his elaborate plan. Even though she was a mercenary, the king had his eye on her, so how could she have gotten hurt so badly without any protection? Even if she had gotten so badly hurt, her body was well trained to withstand it, so why had she been dead asleep for several days? Even if it had been several days of him raping her, how could she have gotten pregnant so quickly?

How long has he been tricking me?

From the beginning.

That’s when Tara came to her senses. She must have gotten used to the drug because its effect on her was decreasing. Tara suddenly raised herself up. And with clear eyes, she glared at him.

“Tara. You no longer are needed in the war.”

She realized that her life had been ruined to the point of no return.

It only took a few seconds for her feelings of betrayal, shame, and insult to manifest into a rage.

I had destroyed the name of Terra’s owner, but you dare do this to me.

She searched for her sword right away. She would stab him here and now and see his blood.

“It means you no longer need your sword.”

But the sword she had received from her teacher and parents had long ago disappeared.

The king smiled.

“You horrid monster! You dare commit such a horrific crime! I will kill you!”

Even as Tara cursed him in her native tongue, he remained smiling.

“Tara. Congratulations on the pregnancy.”

Tara gathered the things beside her as she lay on the bed and threw it at him. The king casually took a few steps back and avoided them easily. Tara yelled at him again.

“Lottedraam!! You animal!!”

Lottedraam didn’t even blink. To him, her fury meant nothing.

“Tara. Do you want to save your child?”

Knowing that her strength was no match for him, she still ran at him wanting to strangle him, but at those words, Tara froze. It was not a moment of hesitation for him. Every Han child must be raised with love. Their people prided themselves on never abandoning their children. It was because she was reminded of this.

“That’s why you will become my queen. Tara.”

Queen? When did I ever say I needed something like that?

“I care for you.”

Who do you think you are to ruin my life?

“I love you, Tara.”

Don’t utter such pathetic lies to break apart my life.

Tara clenched her teeth. She wanted to swallow the pain as her teeth trembled in fury.

But, even as she cursed him, it didn’t faze him. If she was to hit him, he would overpower her. There was no point in any action. She couldn’t even lift the sword she had held all her life.

Tara fainted.

Based on the king’s wishes, she was excused from the war and escorted to the palace almost immediately. It was also immediate for everyone there to see her as an adversary. The king asked for her every day. Tara cursed at him each day. She couldn’t even decide on death. Death was all that was left for her.

That was the only option left for her. She was unable to return home. How could she drag this filthy body there? She had been a descendant of a legend, so her status was high, but now she had no sword or name, and all she had the child of a man who raped her. She couldn’t kill the child based on her people’s values, so should she just give birth to him and run away? But how could she just run away without revenge with Dagnar’s blood running through her veins? That was worse than being cursed in death. That was how she had been taught.

“I love and care for you. Tara.”

You ruined me thus, yet you say you love me? You love me? The words were ridiculous at the least. There is no such thing as love.

“Do you love me. Tara.”

If I didn’t, why am I spending my days alone in this wasteland of a palace? For what did I lose my sword and honor, and kicked out of the war?

“Tara. Answer me.”

It was all that jerk’s fault. He was less than an animal and stepped over me until he broke my life apart.

“I told you to answer me.”

Even if I was to shred you to pieces, it would not be punishment enough for your crimes.

“Tara.”

So starting now, I will turn your life upside down. The path I walk will lead to your death.

Tara’s determination grew and became set in stone. Losing her trust, and knowing that she could never go back out to war left her only with anger and hatred, and her inflating stomach. Tara must have stroked her stomach a hundred times.

It was around the time the two countries started war. Tara, determinedly, lived.

And the moment she saw her newborn child, Tara intuitively realized something. She had not suddenly felt love for the child. She had lost the concept of love long ago. There was only the bubbling of rage left in her, and that was enough.

But this child. She was sure that he would help her in the path she was walking.

“Animal!”

Should I spray his blood into the streets? I will at least raise you well. I will make you emotionless, and make sure you trust no one, and ensure that you will only sharpen your own knife.

“How dare you step foot in here!”

She wanted nothing more than to grind him into dust. She knew she must have her revenge, but everywhere she went, she was cursed and looked down upon, and it was driving her crazy. But he brashly dares to come in here.

The only reason you are alive is because of this child. Not even realizing that you dare, dare make me a worthless concubine?

I will kill you right now on this day. Don’t forget my sword. I am a proud daughter of the Han clan, and you are nothing, something I could slice apart with ease. I will make you wish for death.

But.

“Oh, oh, dear.”

Alas.

If I was to kill you, then your bloodline will fall into an abyss with you.

I can’t have that happen. I have to raise this child. This child was evidence of her life in hell but

‘Always be proud that you are a part of the Han clan.’

I remembered those words. You are a proud descendant of the Han clan. You cannot die here. So you will be patient with him.

“Tara. How are you feeling today?”

“Filthy beast! Get lost!”

But I cannot live in this hell forever…

“Mother.”

So until you become an adult, I must persevere.

It was a horrific and painful determination. The laughing childhood of her having grown up with the warmth of her parents’ hand and the compliments of her teachers were now burned to dust. Even though she knew well that she should not have spent a night with the king, the mere fact that she enjoyed conversing with him had created her fate was now twisted and ground to dust.

She held on with the feeling of engraving each passage of time into her bones. The question of why she remained alive was irrelevant. I must stay alive to leave the child a path, and I must wait until he becomes an adult. As an adult of the Han clan, he will be able to do everything himself, and so I must live and let him up into that path. This feeling was intermixed with her anger and hatred.

So, sometimes, she was able to look down at her child in her right mind. But especially when she saw the child’s red eyes, it stirred the anger inside her, which became difficult to control. When those times came, she would direct her sword at the king instead and curse him to her heart’s content.

Child. This was not your fault. I know you are looked down upon also and that you will face hardships. But you must persevere.

Even if I die, you still have a way to survive. You may not have told me everything, but your eyes are telling me this. I will be alright, not knowing your path. You must know why that is, don’t you? Because I have raised you to know how to become a victor through what I told you every day. So you will be able to push through it all. You must do that.

Animal, animal! I curse and despise you! Die! Die! You will die a gruesome death!

“Tara… I….”

I had waited, sharpening my life, for this very moment.

He had made me lose my entire path in life, and I was never once happy, the only thing left for me was the ashes of my dreams, but he rubbed his filthy body on mine as that of a king and survived this long. But the reason I gave my patience to the king, and even now, refuse to kill him with this sword was because of you, my son.

If you, my son, had not been born, I would have stabbed the king’s face and limbs without mercy.

So, Lu Havre, you of all people, must.

Tara smiled. Even when she turned the sword onto herself to leave the most dramatic death, she had never hesitated. All that she left was her will to the son she saw far away in the distance.

Child, of all the things I told you, there was not a single lie.

Love? Yes, I say this now, but there was a time when I believed in love. I have to accept that. I wasn’t planning to tell you, but I’ll tell you now. This mother of yours had someone she loved too.

Or someone she believed she loved.

Yes. It was that country’s king. But how many times have I told you? That what he felt for me was not love. He did not love me. I do not love him, either. The moment he took me, I knew. How could I ever forget? I cannot forget what I felt when I found out you were growing inside me. That was when my life completely fell into flames.

Child. You were not born from love but was the beginning of my life’s rock bottom.

So child. Throw away your emotions. That is the last thing you can do for your mother. There is nothing more I want from you. I realize that I am a pathetic mother. But please at least know this. If your life becomes broken also, I cannot die in peace. I will forever curse the king.

So you must remember this part of me. You must be the victor of this war.