Chapter 1：Part 1 - Hiding from Pain

1. Hiding from pain

The sky was full of stars twinkling away in the night. He could watch them for hours. Rolling over on the wooden sundeck behind the house, Jae let a soft sigh escape and closed his eyes. He'd worked the whole day planting cabbage seedlings in a quarter-acre patch. The season was right, he was anticipating a glorious grow this spring. Laying here in the dark silence, his only worry was the noisy cricket making noise under the deck.

He slept with a smile on his face, happy to enjoy the cool night. A tap on his jaw woke him the next morning. Rubbing his eyes, he blinked when he found a yellow cat standing on his chest. She meowed and he sat up.

"Mizu," he said with a yawn stretching his arms above his head.

His face felt chilled by the morning dew. Mizu meowed again and he picked her up as he stood to go into the house through the kitchen door. She purred loudly in his arms when he scratched her ears.

"Morning Mum," he said with a small smile.

He took a bowl from the cupboard and went to the fridge tucked into the wall. Getting milk, he poured Mizu some and placed the bowl on the wooden floor for her.

With that done, Jae took a seat at the kitchen table where his mother had already set the table for three. His father's place was still unused, which meant he hadn't come downstairs yet. Jae accepted the bowl of miso soup, rice and the cup of coffee his mother put before him.

Four years in Seoul, coffee was the one thing he'd been unable to quit after coming back home. Taking a sip of the strong hot liquid, he closed his eyes in appreciation.

"What are you doing today?" his mother asked.

Kim Gae In was a short petite woman in her early sixties. Her hair cut short around her face. She looked homey in a flowery blouse and khaki pants with a red apron over her clothes to prevent any spill. Seeing her now, no one would believe she was the mother to eight children.

"Going to the coffee shop and helping out," he answered sipping his miso soup.

"Did you finish in the garden?" she asked.

"Of course, all I need to do is water the seedlings before I leave and when I get back. You'll make gimchi when they grow right?" Spicy pickled cabbage

Gae In smiled and nodded.

"Of course, but Jae, are you really planning on being home until the cabbages grow?"

He stuffed his mouth with rice and nodded refusing to look at her. She stopped what she was doing at the sink and came to take a seat beside him.

"We should talk-,"

"Oh wow." Jae stood abruptly. He pointed at the time on the microwave. "Look, I'm going to be late. Why didn't you tell me I woke up so late?"

"Jae, it's seven o'clock in the morning," she said. Her expression told him that she knew he was avoiding her.

He flashed a smile, leaned to kiss her cheek and dashed out of the kitchen headed to his bedroom upstairs. He liked his life now, how simple things were; waking up to his mother's cooking, sleeping as he wished. Things were very good.

No need to complicate them, he thought as he jumped into the shower.

He rode his bike into the small town of Gong. The feel of the wind against his face was addictive. Letting go of the handles, he spread his arms wide, balancing on the bike as he rode down the hill. A smile spread on his lips and he laughed at the sheer exhilarating ride. A car honked breaking the spell and he grabbed the bike handles as the car passed him.

He rode into town ten minutes later. He loved the small town feel of Gong, quaint and picturesque. He loved the fact that everyone knew everybody. He waved at the baker who was writing out specials on the board outside his shop, and then there was the florist. The post office was opening as well. He braked as he turned on to Congee Street. The coffee shop was next to a hair salon. Slowing down, he got off the bike just as a young woman appeared at the hair salon door holding a broom.

"Morning Angie," he said smiling her.

"Jae, good morning," she answered pausing to watch him secure his bicycle. "How was your ride this morning?"

"One car passed me, two honks," he supplied with a wide smile, "better than yesterday's three cars."

"You should wear a helmet," she complained a frown dancing on her forehead. "It would be sad if our Jae got hurt doing stunts."

"I'll be fine," he promised as he entered the coffee shop. He paused at the doorway to ask, "Mocha?"

"Cappuccino," Angie answered with a wide smile. "I didn't get enough sleep. I stayed up watching a Black Shade special last night."

Jae winced and gave her a small grin. "Do you have a crush on a boy band?"

She laughed.

"Of course, Kim Jaehan has my heart forever."

He shook his head and entered the coffee shop. The morning staff was already hard at work serving the morning crowd had set in and the waiters moved from one table to the next. Jae hurried behind the counter, washing his hands before he made Angie's coffee. After he'd given it to one of the waiters, he went into the back of the shop to pull on a Kim Café t-shirt and held his hair back in a stubby ponytail. He was about to head into the main dining room to take orders when the manager intercepted him.

"Ah, Jae you're here," Minjoon said when he saw him. "Help out Sunny. She's flooded at the counter."

Jae changed course to the counter where the waiters brought the orders. A tall, curvy woman was busy filling four cups of cappuccino. Her smooth forehead wrinkled with a frown.

"Sunny, what do you need help with?"

"Make two cups of mocha, a macchiato and an ice cold coffee." She grumbled a few choice words about the ice-cold coffee while he got the cups and the glass.

"Why are you coming in so late?" she demanded when she passed her finished order to the waiting waiter.

"I woke up late." Jae answered fixing the ice-cold coffee. "I heard you went for a job interview yesterday."

"Yeah," Sunny said with a defeated tone. "I'm too overqualified," she explained when she met his gaze. "I don't know what that meant, but, I don't want to move to Seoul. If this futile job search continues in Gong, I'll be forced to go to the big city."

"What do you want to do?" he asked with a frown.

"I'm an accountant but the market seems flooded. It feels like there are no accounting jobs in this town. Yesterday I was interviewing for an executive assistant position."

He bit his lip hard, and then said, "I'm sure you'll get a position soon."

"I wish I was positive like you," Sunny said as she took boxes of coffee stirrers and napkins from a shelf under the counter.

She handed them to one of the waiters who went to replenish the tables.

The day was busy, he barely had time to stop and think about Sunny's comment about his positive side. He tried not to dwell too much on his current state of mind. Instead, he concentrated on making coffee, waiting tables, dishwashing. By the time four o'clock came around, he was beat.

"Jae, want to go out for drinks?" Sunny asked when she carried a tray of dishes into the back.

"Yeah, as long as you're driving me home."

"We can call Yun to drive you and your bicycle home. He won't charge you," Sunny said talking about the old man who owned the butchery.

"Fine, who else is going?"

"Manager Min," Sunny answered with a wide grin.

Jae suspected Manager Min was the reason she didn't want to leave Gong and head to Seoul to find a job.

Wiping his hands with a napkin, Jae left the back room and went out into the dining area. There was one customer. The waiters were having a shift change so he decided to take the order himself.

"Welcome to Kim Café. I'll take your order," he said politely.

Taking the notebook from his pocket, he glanced at the customer. He was a young man, finely dressed in a dark jacket that looked tailored to his frame. A black cap pulled so low over his forehead, Jae couldn't see his face.

"Sir," he said again.

"It's been a long time, hyung," a familiar voice said making Jae gasp as his customer lifted his head. "How have you been?"

****

Happy that the dining room was empty, Jae grabbed the young man's arm and dragged him out of the café. There was a black car parked across the street near an alley. Making sure no one had noticed in the café, Jae led his visitor to the car and didn't talk until he was safely in the backseat.

"That's a welcome and a half, Kim Jaehan," Kang Junghee said when he slammed the door closed. "You've changed. I almost didn't recognize you."

"What are you doing here?" Jae asked starting at Junghee in panic. "Did something happen?"

Junghee sighed. "How have you been? How are you doing? You should ask your old friend questions like these first."

"Can we really be called friends at this point?" Jae asked wiping his forehead with a napkin from his pocket.

"No," Junghee answered. "We're family, hyung."

Jae sighed and leaned his head back on the comfortable seat. He'd escaped his mother this morning. How was he going to escape Junghee?

"The coffee shop looks good. Do they know?" Junghee asked peering out the window at the bright building across the street.

Jae stared at the elegant words scrawled on the sign above the shop with a white mug of coffee mounted at the end, Kim Café.

"No," he answered. "Do you think anyone can recognize me like this?"

Junghee chuckled and turned to look at him.

"You grew out your hair. I don't think it would be possible to remember you as Kim Jaehan. You've been living a quiet life. Are you happy?"

Jae smiled. "I don't want to give it up."

Junghee nodded and they sat in silence for a while.

"Andre found someone we should meet," Junghee said breaking the silence. "He's had a hard time so his brother sent him to talk to a friend who might help us."

Junghee reached for a folder tucked into the expensive leather pouch on the back of the driver's seat.

"There are articles you should read here. The meeting is tomorrow at noon in Seoul. My house, I'll give the driver directions."

Jae took the documents running a finger over the sharp corners of the blue folder.

"What have you been doing?" he asked Junghee turning to look at him. "You look well."

"I went to see my parents," Junghee answered. "With my older brother running the family law firm, my parents have moved up country. It was nice being there with old friends. Andre stayed in Seoul helping his brother promote his latest book. He misses the stage, Jaehan."

"What could he possibly miss, is it the betrayals or the endless work?" Jae asked dropping his gaze to the blue folder on his lap.

"The joy of performance," Junghee said quietly. "Singing until your soul soars, I know you miss it too."

He couldn't lie about that. Despite the quaint life he was now living, the dreams still lingered behind the exhilarating bicycle rides down the hill.

"Promise you'll come," Junghee said touching his knee. "If not for yourself, do it for Andre."

Jae sighed and nodded. He'd do anything for Junghee and Andre.

****