Chapter 46: Friends

It hurt to say those words. And yet he was saying them. Because they were what Max needed to hear.

Max was in some sort of delusion... he thought that he wanted to be friends, that he wanted to be with him. It wasn't that Leo didn't believe he meant every word... that Max actually believed it and wanted it desperately too.

But it was too late...

'Friends? He had said it with his own mouth before... they were not anything, because Max had Sam.'

It hadn't worked out between him and Max and Leo just had this gut feeling. That he had somehow become this placeholder while Max realized his feelings for Sam. Why would Max need him when he was just a bad copy of the friend he already had.

He wanted to believe Max but he couldn't let himself get dragged in. 'He already heard the truth with his own ears. Max had never even considered them friends.."

So Leo knew he just had to wait it out, avoid everyone... Maybe even Evan.

Because soon they would all get bored of playing with him. And they all would leave him alone. Then he could go back to the life he had led before Max had barged into his life and made his presence known.

'And then... And then he could give up, and let his feelings for Max die and bury them.'

Then he could go back to meandering his way through this college life till he could get a job in another country, further his studies abroad. And be far away from this mess.

Maybe even someday he would forget this whole thing ever happened and he could maybe find someone who picked him and wanted him as their first choice.

And he would never have to ever again think of Max and Sam, who would probably be off somewhere happy, gallivanting and close as ever.

As if he had never even appeared in their lives. Only the smallest of hindrances, a hiccup in their otherwise perfect story.

And now Leo sighed because he hurt again, like that day in the field, or that day in the hall. Or any day he had even seen Max since Sam and Max's kiss.

Because every time since then had been painful. And he suddenly wanted it all to go away. So he fell back on his old excuse. Even if he didn't even fully believe it himself anymore.

"Max you don't want me, you desire something familiar. Something you already have. You think that you can't have it so your brain is telling you to choose the copycat choice of the thing you desire. But I am just a bad knock off. I am sure Sam and Evan will be done playing soon and then Sam will find his way back to you again..."

"I am sorry I can't help you, Max, I am too vulnerable to be hurt because you desire someone else. It's unavoidable, but for now, you will just have to wait for him to come back to you. I wish you happiness,"

"Goodbye Max," Leo said and turned and went down the stairs.

He knew it was bad to use Sam as a scapegoat. He knew it was bad to lie and run away from his problems. But he just wanted it all to end. He wanted the way he was feeling to go away and never return, and he just couldn't think of any better way at that moment to get rid of someone who was stubborn enough to be holding onto something that was clearly sinking.