Chapter 159 - An Intermission (Part 1)

These words struck Xendros upon hearing it.

He suddenly felt a tug on his sleeve, and only realized that the people had stood up already, while he still remained blankly sitting on the ground. Prince Faestien who was beside him brushed off the dust from his shoulders, and offered a hand to help him up.

"Are you still doing well, Brother Xendros? Did the performance stun you that much, or was it the heat of this scalding mid-day sun?" He asked with that pearly white smile.

"Uh.... no. It is nothing, Your Highness."

But the words repeated again and again in his head like discordant whispers.

"To love and to be loved makes you a Fool."

"To love and to be loved makes you a Fool."

"To love and to be loved makes you a Fool."

"To love and to be loved makes you a Fool."

Why would this affect him so much? He had never even loved before. He must not love romantically as a priest, and only devote himself for the Holy Dragon Lord. Yet why does he have a feeling similar to reminiscing..... but not quite.....

It's not nostalgia. It's not recalling something either. But instead, remembering the future.

The future? How can you remember the future? That's paradoxical.

But still, it was like it was warning him of a future he wa already aware of. And event that he already knows will happen.

The people talked about Maelle's story among themselves, no longer interested for another round of the allegratius. Instead, the theorized and contemplated in the Tale of the Fake Rose King, whispering to themselves what it could have meant. The little girl with the rose crown meant for Xendros skipped happily to her mother, and the three was left alone in this busy road again, with no one paying attention to them.

"I suppose it's time for us to go to our lodgings. We cannot dawdle for too long. We can still explore much of the city in the next few days." Maelle said. "It's already turning red."

By turning red, he meant the sky with the sun setting. Xendros looked at it, and felt that a certain cloud surrounding the vermilion sun was like a wolf with its mouth open. He does not feel scared at the imagery at all, but instead feel at ease.

They went to an average inn by the side of the road with average employees and average beddings, paid for their lodging, and settled down their things. The Prince Faestien, however, have no materials on him except for a pouch of 10,000 Cansiers. He could have used it to buy materials and paid for his own room, but instead, he went over to Xendros and asked:

"Can I stay in your room for the duration of my stay here? I can sleep on the floor if you would only give me some beddings and blankets. I am not used to sleeping on my own, as I have many to watch over and protect me, and I do not feel quite safe..."

Xendros shook his head. "No need to explain, Yoru Highness. You may stay with me if you please. You must pardon me if I ever had unlikable sleeping habits that I was not aware of, however. I always slept alone and separated from the rest of the orphanage so I have no one to tell me if I snore or drool or the likes."

Faestien chuckled. "Ah, you are so hilarious, Brother Xendros! But not to worry. Even if you have such habits, who am I to complain?"

"You must complain, Your Highness. You are a prince after all. And you must not sleep on the floor, you shall take the bed. I will lay there even without any mattress or blankets, a pillow will suffice."

"No, I insist. Brother Xendros, I told you already that I am no priest here. I am simply a carriage driver troubling you enough, so let me sleep on the floor."

"But---"

"No buts, Brother Xendros. My word is final."

"My conscience as a peasant can never take it---"

They bickered back and forth again and again, until they heard a loud "Ahem."

Maelle was standing with his arms crossed. "The innkeeper is telling us to keep quiet when we are outside our rooms."

"Is that so?" Prince Faestien smiled at him brightly, eyes shining like stars. "Then we must be quiet as a mouse." 

He placed a finger over his own lips, and grinned while tilting his head. He then ushered Xendros inside the room, and they unpacked their things.

Once unpacking, Xendros realized that there was a letter that slipped inside his bag. He wondered how he got such a thing. A message for him? It's unlikely. When did it got there? It couldn't have been long since he doesn't remember Maelle slipping something when they were in the carriage, so it must have been when they have arrived in Crescentia.

It was a simple paper folded twice, and he opened it. It was written with an unruly handwriting. There are certain phrases he could not understand as well, and left him baffled. It seems to have been written by an author by the name of Ariestotilus Monxius to an Advisor Judiel.

He read the contents while Prince Faestien looked around for something he can use to make a bed of the floor. He still wants to stop him, but the letter intrigued him and he set the arguing aside for later.

[To my editor, Judiel

In any small chance that you are reading this, I just would like to apologize in advance for I will be taking a month-long hiatus this April. I will not be publishing any chapters until May in order to recover my pile of drafts, and my receding health, both physically and mentally.

I had overestimated myself. Out of desperation for money, I thought I would be able to handle writing 3 books at the same time. I was terribly wrong.

I had work as well for most of the day, you see, and write mostly during my free time. Before, I had many stocked drafts. But because I was busy from my job and other problems in real life had surfaced, I found it difficult to gain any motivation to write. I keep losing sleep and skipping meals, and because of it, I feel nauseous in the morning.

I keep dreading writing, it has become more of a chore than a passion for me. I feel hopeless, because I still need to write in order to get that money. I keep blanking out, not knowing what to do. It's making me want to relapse to my vices that is reflected by the two main leads of my Bad Boy story.

It is all my fault, I know. I should not have been greedy. I also procrastinated a lot because I sought for friends I can tell my problems to, and I found them. My fellow authors who understand my pain.

I am grateful for my friends, but because of that, I have no more stockpile. I have 0 drafts, and barely managed to publish three 1.5K word chapters everyday for my three books. I cannot drop any of them because my family relies on my money.

One of my books' drafts also got lost after a computer malfunction. I was distraught for many days. Even now, I feel distraught, wishing this month will be over. 

I actually wanted to give up on being an author. Permanently.

My life circumstances do not permit such a lofty dream. I also feel like my work is not gaining the appreciation and recognition I thought it deserves. Compared to many authors in this platform, I fall short. People do not recognize hard work for good plots, but only good romance and smut. It made me sick and tired of BL and writing in general.

If not for one person, I really would not have continued all my books anymore, and disappeared from this platform forever.

But he saved me.]

Saved by who? Xendros wondered to himself, as he turned the paper to read the next lines. It made him think as well. How can someone be saved even when he isn't dying? In such a situation like that, what counts as saving?

Something suddenly flashed into his head.

An image of a boy falling from an oak tree.

Another boy catching him in his arms."That would have hurt so badly if I wasn't around, little guy. Are you alright?"

"Yes....."

"Hold on, let me put you down. What are doing up there anyway?"

".....Climbing."

"And why did you climb?"

"I wanted to be a ghost."

"I see." The catcher gave a sad knowing smile. "What's your name?"

But before he could say the name, he snapped out of it once Prince Faestien called out to him. "Brother Xendros? Can you help me with laying down this mattress a little? It's quite heavy, I have thinner arms than yours."

"Oh." He set down the letter for later. "Alright, Your Highness."

What was that? Why did it came to his memory? Who were those two boys?

Xendros wanted to find it out more than anything.. The Truth.