Chapter 10

Chapter 10 Strange Dreams (Part 3)

I poured a cup of tea, sipped it slowly and carefully, and the time went by without me realizing it. The dazzling moon faded, the insects stopped after a while, and the sky became white fish belly after a while. I fell asleep at my desk and had a nap.

After some time, a girl’s not too gentle shaking woke me up, and I went to the living room to eat. My eyelids were struggling as I sat outside the house on a small wooden bench, watching the warbler fly and the butterfly dance in the distance.

I should be grateful for Feng Yin’s presence. I closed my eyes and laid my head on Feng Yin’s shoulder, tilting my head. I would have leaned on the ground with some little rocks if Feng Yin hadn’t arrived. I’m not sure what’s going to happen to my head.

Feng Yin was not angry when I leaned on his shoulder; instead, he elicited a habit of smiling and allowed me to rest on him, after which I slipped into a deep sleep. It was weird this time, because the person in the dream was Qingheng, but… looking at him in front of me sparked a fire in my heart.

I saw one person grabbing the hem of Qingheng’s sleeve, and he followed Qingheng wherever he went, screaming with joy.

A basin of cold water extinguished the nameless fire in my heart, I pressed my forehead , who is this fellow, I absolutely do not know, and it is definitely not me…

The scene shifted, the sun shone brightly, and the furnishings in this room seemed like they belonged in the Emperor’s palace. The ‘Ziqing’ in front of me was holding Qingheng’s hand with a smirk.

“Si Ran, I like you so much, stay with me, I will hide you in a place where only I can find it, Daddy and the others won’t be able find it, and they won’t hit us!” After he finished speaking, he hugged Qingheng’s waist with both hands, and rubbed his head on Qingheng’s waist like a cat, to please him.

Five thunders at the top, I was stunned, unable to move.

This innocent smile, this coquettish tone, this… this fellow is still a child, right?

It’s unreasonable, you dare to hold my face, use my body, say such stupid things, do such childish actions, this is definitely not me!

What surprised me even more was that Qingheng smiled and touched my head, nodding in agreement!

Then, I became utterly stupefied.

‘Ziqing’ covered his lips with excitement, and Qingheng’s arms also wrapped around ‘Ziqing’s’ neck. ‘Ziqing’ hugged his slightly thin body, easily picked him up, and gently put him on the ground. He gently untied his clothes like a treasure, pecked and kissed him.

His slender legs climbed up to his waist, fine sweat covered his whole body, fingernails sank into his back that blood flowed out. The expression on his face couldn’t be determined if it was pain or joy, even though he bit his lip, he couldn’t restrain the overflowing groan.  The place that was closely connected made people blush.

This… Well, I didn’t expect Qingheng, who is warm-hearted and cold, to be so provocative.

Stop! What am I thinking?

The picture changed again. Qingheng stroked the Qin under the cliff, and ‘Ziqing’ stood behind him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “Si Ran Si Ran, you see, I’m the only one who can find you. I’ve been looking for this place for a long time.” 

Qingheng narrowed his eyes and smiled faintly.

Looking at the door and the scenery, the scenario has shifted back to the palace. When I saw the picture in front of me, I sighed and pressed my painful forehead.

What’s the trouble with this extreme grip, clinging to the hem of Qingheng’s clothes, playing coquettish and refusing to let people go? 

“Let go, I’ve had enough. In your eyes, there’s only Childe Si Ran in your heart, and there’s no place for me at all.” He said, with inexplicable grief, he pulled out the hem of his clothes, picked up the package and hurried away, ignoring the thunderous cry behind him. 

“Si Ran, don’t go! Si Ran…Si Ran…don’t go…” It seemed that ‘Ziqing’ was tired from crying, and laid on the ground, sobbing in a low voice. “Qingheng….”

Ah, only after he left did I understand that there was another person in my heart. (t/n don’t know if he’s referring to ‘Ziqing’ or himself at present)

This day passed in my half dreaming and half awake state. As soon as it was dark, there was a slow knock outside the door. I didn’t want to know who was coming.

Sure enough, it was Qingheng. He came to change the dressing for me. I consciously took off my clothes and lay down and let him change it. After the dressing was changed, he got up and was about to leave. I immediately grabbed his wrist and exerted a little force.  He could not stand under his feet and fell on top of me. I reached out and raised his chin, and kissed his reddish lips without saying a word, stuck my tongue in, and he obeyed. In response, I kissed him until he was almost out of breath before I stopped. He glared at me fiercely. Without thinking about it, he slapped me. I didn’t hide. I faced his powerful palm and immediately felt a burning pain.

“My lord, self-respect!” Qingheng became so enraged that he turned around and attempted to flee, but I refused to release his wrist, so he was unable to do so.

I raised my eyebrows and didn’t take it seriously, “I’ve already kissed you, so what’s the bother?” 

“…you!” He gasped.

“I…?” I smiled, pretending to be innocent, and said seriously after a while. “Qingheng, don’t make trouble, maybe I was wrong before, but I really like you, come back to me, okay…”

Come back to me, maybe for you, I will let go of my hatred.

“You… remember?” I nodded in response, he just believed it, and whispered, “Go back to your side?” He bleakly smiled, “My lord, it’s me who should say no to trouble, right?  Do you dare to say that you don’t have Si Ran in your heart? Do you dare to say that you know who I am now and have not regarded me as Si Ran? “

“I…although I have Si Ran in my heart, I like you, and I also know who you are, you are…” I hurriedly defended myself, but Qingheng interrupted my words with an angry roar.

“Enough! Feng Ziqing, you’re too selfish! I already have someone I like, Qinglian, you’ve met her too. She’s a good girl. I like her. I’ll marry her one day.”

My hands loosened, my eyes filled with disbelief.

Qinglian, I have seen her, his disciple.

“That’s immorality!” Struggling in vain, but I forgot that a relationship between two men was also intolerable.

“Indecent? Heh… isn’t it better than two men being together, right?” he said, with ridicule in his words, I was powerless to let go, and watched him leave.

“Qingheng! I really… like you.” Watching him disappear at the door, this relationship can’t be saved or made up.

He’s getting married…

At the prospect of a woman standing next to such a gentle person to steal the space I previously occupied in his heart, my heart is full of anger.

Only knowing how to cherish it after you lose it, isn’t that someone me?

After I poured a cup of tea, I drank the tea instead of the wine for a while, and I didn’t seem to be myself anymore. I always felt empty somewhere in my heart.

Selfish? Selfish ah… it turns out that I am actually a selfish person.

It is even more worrying to use wine to relieve sorrow. It turns out to be the same with tea also.

Fortunately, I will be leaving tomorrow, but tomorrow, how should I face Qingheng and his fiancee?

Note

Five thunders=Wu Lei Bang Ding is a Chinese idiom. Chinese people often use the sky to beat the five thunder bangs to describe that people will be punished by God in various forms after they have done a very bad deed that hurts the world.