Chapter 32 (2) - A Depressed Kendo Player Possesses a Bastard Aristocrat

.After finishing my bath and changing into my pajamas, I immediately threw myself onto the bed.

Thud, the bed sank deeply as I landed on it.

I savored the soft texture and hugged the blanket.

I didn't want to think about anything.

I just wanted to fall asleep peacefully.

I tossed and turned, burrowing deeper under the covers.

As if trying to hide from something.

Desperately.

Curled up in the center of the bed, I curled my body into a ball like a shrimp.

Only the ticking of the clock echoed softly in the empty room.

-Tick-tock, tick-tock...

Every time the second hand crossed a number,

I was reminded that time was still flowing, even in this gray world.

As I gradually became immersed in the faint noises, a feeling blossomed in my heart like a flower.

My chest ached.

Even though I was under the covers, I felt an unbearable chill.

My consciousness blurred, my breathing slowed.

My hand, which had been still, fumbled around as if searching for something, eventually clutching only a handful of empty sheets.

I knew the name of this feeling well.

It was the feeling I had encountered the most in my previous life.

Its name was loneliness.

Loneliness accompanied by a terrible sense of helplessness.

I had thought that this feeling had completely disappeared after coming to this world.

But it hadn't disappeared, it had simply been hiding.

The loneliness, which had reappeared after a long time, slowly melted into me.

My soul absorbed it like a sponge, and I became soaked in the blue emotions.

I tried to scream.

For someone to help me, to not leave me alone.

That this silence was too painful.

That I didn't want to experience this again.

I tried to scream loud enough for Rachel outside the room to hear my cry.

But my mouth wouldn't move.

My body, already drowned in helplessness, had forgotten how to move on its own.

With a silent scream, I sank into the waves of loneliness.

Deep.

Deeper.

So deep that there was no bottom to sink to.

As my body sank and sank, just before reaching the bottom of the sea,

-Knock, knock...

Someone knocked on my door.

-Young Master, are you asleep?

It was Rachel's voice.

I wanted to answer, but my mouth wouldn't open.

-Hmm... I'll come in...?

With a creak, Rachel opened the door and entered.

Only after she came close to me was I able to move my body again.

I lifted the covers and opened my eyes.

As I lifted my eyelids, I saw Rachel, who had changed from her maid uniform into her pajamas.

The light and airy pajamas exuded her characteristic refreshing aura.

Although the outfit was a bit loose, her graceful curves were subtly revealed here and there.

The girl's brown eyes widened in surprise as our gazes met, and she asked,

"Were you sleeping...?"

"......No, I was awake."

"Phew! That's a relief!"

Rachel smiled brightly at my words.

She came closer and sat gently on the edge of the bed.

I sat up, following her lead.

"What brings you here so suddenly?"

"What do you mean suddenly! Young Master, you can't sleep with your hair wet!"

Rachel puffed out her cheeks and pointed at my hair.

I ran my hand through my hair and felt the dampness.

I must not have dried it properly earlier.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the water.

Rachel gasped and stopped me.

"W-Wait! You need to use a towel!"

"......It's a bother."

"Stay still! I'll dry it for you!"

"Hmm..."

She went to the living room and brought a fluffy towel, then made me sit down and started drying my hair.

The dry cloth gently absorbed the moisture from my wet hair.

I remained silent, receiving Rachel's gentle touch.

Her kind and caring pats,

transferred through the towel to my hair,

from my hair to my skin,

from my skin to my heart.

The loneliness and helplessness that had been consuming me just moments ago seemed to wash away a little.

I felt a sense of comfort in the warmth I felt behind me.

At the same time, I felt uneasy.

I vividly remembered the looks I had received today.

They were afraid of me, disgusted by me, and hated me.

Perhaps... Rachel felt the same way?

Even though she was always kind to me, maybe deep down, Rachel also hated me?

There were plenty of reasons for Rachel to hate me.

After Raiden turned into a delinquent, Rachel was the one he treated the worst.

Since she refused to turn her back on him until the very end,

she was the one who suffered the most from his bullying.

That thought made me bite my lip.

Rachel was the closest person to me since I came to this world.

If she, who always smiled brightly and took care of me,

actually hated me deep down inside...

...Would I be able to stay sane?

"You should dry your hair properly before you sleep~ The pillow will smell like wet hair."

The girl's gentle voice rang in my ears.

I hesitated for a moment, then finally spoke.

"......Rachel."

"So, your hair... huh, yes?"

The movement I felt on my head stopped at my call.

Even this small detail made my heart sink with anxiety.

Trying to appear calm, I asked quietly,

"Do you... hate me too...?"

"Huh...?"

"Do you... hate me?"

"......Why would you think that?"

Rachel asked back, her voice a notch lower, the atmosphere suddenly heavy.

Her usual cheerful voice was gone,

replaced by a low, serious tone.

My tongue felt heavy, and I struggled to articulate my words as I voiced my concern.

"Before I disappeared... I mean, when I was still a delinquent, you were the one I bullied the most..."

"So?"

"Even people who have never met me before hate me, so you, who were directly bullied by me..."

"Must hate you tremendously?"

"U-Uh... yeah..."

As I nodded, Rachel looked at me with a slightly darkened expression.

Her usual playful smile was gone, and her appearance seemed somewhat frightening.

-Gulp...

As I swallowed nervously, tension reaching its peak,

Rachel chuckled and relaxed her expression.

"Young Master."

"......Yes."

"How could I possibly hate you?"

You,

"saved my life when I was drowning in despair."

Rachel said, smiling brightly.

It was her usual pure and innocent smile.

She gently stroked my now dry hair and asked softly,

"Do you remember how we met, Young Master? A long time ago."

Access 5 advance chapters with the 'Blink' Tier ($10)

For every $15 collected on Ko-fi, I will release a bonus chapter.

Sᴇaʀch* Thᴇ n0vᴇl(ꜰ)ire.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of nøvels early and in the highest quality.