Chapter 90 (2) - A Depressed Kendo Player Possesses a Bastard Aristocrat

***-BAM!

Ignoring the aggressive pounding, Allen and his companions had barged into the room.

The heat from Allen’s magic washed over the once chilly room, and the light that followed illuminated the darkness that had been obscuring everything.

It revealed everything I had desperately tried to conceal.

Every trace of the life-or-death struggle I had just endured.

“…Ha.”

I, who had been lost in a daze, let out a short breath a moment later.

Perhaps it was because my throat was raw.

I tried to stifle a curse, but what came out was closer to a cough.

I pressed my hand against my throbbing forehead.

As I lifted my head, my gaze fell upon their faces, twisted in a mixture of shock and confusion.

Our protagonist, Allen.

His loyal heroines, Eivy and Clara.

…And lastly, Margaret.

“Gasp… gasp…”

I leaned back against the sofa, struggling to catch my breath.

Their uncomfortable gazes pierced me like daggers.

I clenched my jaw, feeling a wave of nausea wash over me. My lips trembled as I forced myself to speak.

“...What in the world is going on?”

My voice, weak and trembling, echoed through the room.

In response to my feeble question, Allen, who stood at the forefront of the group, mumbled in disbelief.

“What’s going on…? B-But, the letter clearly said…”

Allen’s reaction was one of utter bewilderment.

After a moment of incoherent stammering, he brought up the magic letter he had found on the floor.

“We thought the Saintess was in danger… What is the meaning of this…?”

“...”

I remained silent.

Or rather, I was at a loss for words. After a moment of struggling to form a coherent thought, I let out a hollow chuckle.

‘Is this another misunderstanding…?’

A bitter taste filled my mouth. Something hard and unyielding within me seemed to crack.

Yes, a misunderstanding.

That same, damn misunderstanding.

The absurd misunderstanding that had been haunting me relentlessly.

“...Just how many times has it been now?”

I muttered, my weary gaze fixed on the golden-haired boy.

Allen, unable to comprehend the situation, stood frozen in place.

Under normal circumstances, I might have chuckled at his naivety.

But right now, I couldn’t muster even a hint of amusement.

All I felt was a profound sense of disgust.

My hands trembled like leaves in a storm.

My breath hitched in my chest, and a heavy weight settled in my stomach.

“Just how many fucking times has it been with this goddamn misunderstanding…”

My words tumbled out, fueled by the emotions I could no longer contain.

The cramped space within me threatened to burst as my feelings surged uncontrollably.

I couldn’t bear it any longer.

It felt like every fiber of my being was being torn apart.

I pushed myself off the sofa, my legs shaky beneath me.

“Ugh…”

“M-Master Raiden! You shouldn’t be moving yet!!”

As I forced my battered body to move, Lorraine, who had been standing beside me, reached out and grabbed my sleeve.

I shrugged her off roughly.

-Thud…!!

“Ah…?!”

“Don’t… Don’t touch me…”

My voice, cold and distant, cut through the air.

It was a blade forged from resentment, honed to a razor’s edge.

“It’s disgusting… so don’t touch me…”

“But, your wounds…!!”

“Damn it, you’re no different.”

I glared at Lorraine, my eyes burning with a cold fire.

“Master Raiden…”

“You were the same… You condemned me just like they did…”

Lorraine flinched and took a step back.

Her mystical white eyes reflected her own image—an image of herself, broken and defeated.

An indescribable emotion washed over her.

I could only suppress the overwhelming exhaustion with a humorless chuckle.

“Ha… Haha…”

It was futile. And utterly powerless.

“Right… It’s always been like this…”

The scorned villain, subjected to endless misunderstandings and disgust.

That was the reality of this cursed existence.

“The banquet hall attack, the carriage station incident, even right after Master’s funeral…”

I had risked my life to save others.

I had lost a precious mentor. Sᴇaʀᴄh the NʘvᴇlFirᴇ.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of nøvels early and in the highest quality.

I had pushed myself to the brink of death, my body a mangled mess.

I had truly given it my all.

For the sake of peace in this story, I had willingly sacrificed everything I had.

But despite all my efforts…

All I received in return was suspicion and hatred.

-P-Please…! Stop right there!

-Professor Lucas, the head professor who died in this field trip attack… Was it your doing, young master?

-I asked if you killed him.

-Young Master Lishite!! Open this door right now!!!

Fleeting images of the recent past flashed before my eyes.

Those fragmented memories transformed into sharp thorns, piercing my throat.

“No matter how hard I try… you never acknowledged me…”

Misunderstood.

Scorned.

Hated.

You had always treated me with the same disdain.

“Why…”

A bitter monologue escaped my lips, a whisper lost in the suffocating silence.

A storm of misery raged within me, its tendrils wrapping around my limbs, squeezing the air from my lungs. I couldn’t maintain my facade of indifference any longer.

“...What the hell do you want from me?”

Crack—.

The mask of apathy I had worn for so long began to crumble, revealing the raw, ugly emotions that had been festering beneath the surface.

“Answer me… Allen.”

“...”

With unsteady steps, I approached Allen, reaching out with a trembling hand to grab him by the collar.

My filthy hand, stained with blood, left a gruesome mark on his pristine white shirt.

“What… What the hell do you want from me…”

I had believed that if I tried hard enough, I could change things.

I could erase the misunderstandings, the hatred, the disgust—all of it.

I had clung to the hope that if I just gritted my teeth and endured, someday, people would see my true intentions.

That’s why I had refused to give up, clinging desperately to each passing day…

“But I’m tired now… I can’t do this anymore…”

I was exhausted.

I couldn’t keep fighting this uphill battle.

As I choked back the words I had swallowed for so long, my head hung low.

-Thud… Thud…

Hot tears streamed down my cheeks, splashing onto the floor.

The droplets spread out, painting the ground with my despair.

My throat, constricted with unshed tears, remained silent for a moment before releasing a single, broken sentence.

“Why… Why do you all hate me so much…”

My voice, fragile and cracking, betrayed the crumbling remnants of my composure.

-Ding!

[Emergency Warning Message!]

[System instability increasing due to severe mental shock!]

[Immediate rest is strongly advised!]

Cracks began to appear on the wall.