Chapter 2 – A beginners guide to drunk alien fighting

Chapter 2 – A beginners guide to drunk alien fighting

“Despite the changes society underwent in the last couple decades, and the open appreciation for naked flesh and sexual content, sex workers are often still faced with a lot of negative bias. Yet, for all the hate the general public throws at them, a majority of people still ask for their services. It is a strange line of work to work in.”

- Joytoys and Dolls, issue 27, 2050

Before I could even finish my cursing into her delicious lips, Chloe’s eyes shot open and she jumped from her seat. I yelped and she only barely caught me before I fell to the ground, “Shit! Sorry!”

Her eyes went around the room, then to the door. Moving quickly she rushed over, all previous sexual tension forgotten. Unlocking it she quickly looked around outside.

I tried to calm myself down, but that wasn’t easy. My mind was muddled from all the shit I had taken today, my privates still glistening with the distracting excitement I still felt. I was just thinking about how to best keep my joytoys and their clients safe, when she interrupted me.

“Do you have weapons here?" Her tone made it clear she wasn’t fussing about.

It took me a second to even parse the question, too focused on trying to clear my mind and thinking of safe spaces.

“Uh... what? Oh! No, much too risky!”

“Can you shoot?" she asked next, still watching the outside.

“Uh, I guess? I mean...” I shook my head, “I did use guns before. Not sure I should right now though, I’m pretty hammered.”

“Well, you have to,” she muttered, then closed the door.

Walking over to me she mumbled something, before... before something just popped into existence in her hand. It took me a moment to realise I wasn’t tripping. When she arrived in front of me she held out a boxy looking gun.Th.ê most uptodate novels are published on n(0)velbj)n(.)co/m

I looked at the thing, too stunned to react. “You... you’re a Samurai?!” I slurred, not quite believing my own words.

“No sense to hide it any longer, is there,” she grumbled, “Now take it. Point it at any aliens you see.”

I shook myself, this wasn’t the time to space out. Inwardly I cursed myself for drinking so much today, and for allowing the previous client to hit me with a double dose of catnip. Nothing for it now though.

Taking the gun carefully, I looked it over. It was a simple thing, a boxy barrel, a simple grip, and a trigger. There was a line of text printed on the side of the barrel ‘Point this way at alien ->’ complete with a small arrow denoting the direction.

While I inspected my own new weapon, still trying to come to terms with my new reality, Chloe had manifested another pistol. This one was big, easily the size of my forearm. The design was sleek, dark greens with golden lines, and from the size of the barrel alone it could fire quite big bullets. I wasn’t a gun nut, but that thing looked very impressive.

Her voice ripped me out of my jumbled thoughts, “I need to clear a way to the shelter. There are some others that are in direct danger, you should hopefully be quite safe here. Can you keep your coworkers safe?”

While she spoke she was already turning back to the door, but she did give me a glance when she finished.

“Uhm... I, uh... I can give it a try? I hope I don’t hit anyone...” I muttered.

“That thing won’t fire unless it has locked on to an alien. Just make sure to connect it to your augs and put the red reticule over the alien fucks.”

With that she walked back to the door, not allowing any more questions.

Doing as I was told I tried to connect them to my subpar augs. It took some doing, my augs working overtime just to get them to even realise there was a connection open. The cheap processor was nearly dying its own little heat death before finally I got a pop up and a red circle appeared wherever I pointed the gun.

Once done I looked up, but Chloe was already out of the room. With stumbling steps I made to follow her, but stopped halfway past the wardrobe. I didn’t have weapons here, that was true, but some of the sex toys would undoubtedly double as such with sufficient force. Opening the door to the massive thing I started going through all the shelves, cupboards, and drawers, until finally I found what I was looking for.

Not everything in there was precisely meant to be used, some of the the shit we had laying around was more to use in roleplaying. Much as the giant dildo I now pulled out. For some reason I would probably never understand, a lot of people had some fascination with girls taking huge horse dicks, which of course ended up with us having a couple of the larger models available. This was the largest I had, easily the length of my thighs, and as thick around as my arm. And, most importantly, made out of metal. It would make for quite the potent club, even if holding it was a bit iffy.

I probably looked ridiculous, alien gun in one hand, giant dildo in another, while I was dressed in not much more than a piece of fabric covering me. Ignoring that thought and now fully equipped I made way over to the door and looked outside.

“Hey! Anyone in here, get to the second room on the left side. Gather there and once I clear a way to the shelter I’ll pick you up. Chop chop people, get your asses moving if you don’t want to end as alien chow!”

Chloe was standing in the middle of the hallway, visible for all to see, and in the process of putting on some rather impressive, if default looking, armor. Next to her, a cheap looking plastic box sat on the ground.

From my vantage I could see heads poking out of nearly all of the doors, panic and anxiety written all over their faces. For most though that changed when they saw Chloe, obviously a Samurai considering the gear she had.

While I did a head count I met first Tina’s and then Sharon’s eyes. Tina looked panicked, probably utterly terrified. She didn’t handle emergencies well in the best of cases, and this was by far not one of those best case scenarios. She definitely was someone I had to keep an eye on, even if we found a safe place to stay.

Sharon looked... barely even fully aware of what was going on. From the look in her eyes she was tripping hard and didn’t really comprehend the situation. Another person to keep an eye on, though in her case that was mostly to make sure she didn’t get lost.

Right, I had a job to do. Focus, Seraphine!

Shaking my head again I tried to think. This room was no use. The other doors weren’t sturdier, but it was better than to have a hole in one.

“H-Help me move the door,” I stuttered, trying to sound brave and unbothered, but failing utterly. Nobody moved, and I looked at them. “Fucking move!” I almost yelled, before I turned to the door again and started to push the sidetable aside, cursing myself all the while for being so stupid as to block our only exit.

Finally a couple of people came over and helped me, some even taking one of the chairs and pushing the corpses of the aliens aside. Corpses that were bleeding green alien goo all over the cheap carpet, finally ruining it. Not that it had been clean before, I actually didn’t want to know how many bodily fluids were trapped in that thing, despite routine cleanings.

When we finally had the way cleared I opened the door slightly and looked outside. I still didn’t like the idea of going outside, but we didn’t have much in terms of options, not really.

Psyching myself up I took a deep breath, then fully opened the door and stepped outside.

“Now move, quick! Into the next room!” I hissed, holding out my gun in a shaky hand, while the other held the dildo next to me. I tried to suppress my trembling, but I didn’t think I was fooling anyone.

The group had just left our old hiding spot and was halfway into the new room when I heard noise. A distinct scratching of something sharp on the metal floor. And it sounded like there were a lot.

Ignoring the panic spiking in me again, it couldn’t get any worse anyways, I raised the gun and pointed it at the corner of the hallways. A couple moments later another model Three came around the corner and I immediately pulled the trigger. It died before it had even fully come around, but the shot had alerted the other xenos coming after it.

My heart nearly stopped when one of them came sprinting around the corner, making me take a step back. Panicked cries rang out behind me as the group started rushing, stomping quickly over to the room.

I pulled the trigger again, then again when the next one came running, not stopping until I couldn’t hear any more aliens around the corner. Five alien corpses lay between me and the corner of the hallways, all in various states of fucked up, and all bleeding their weird goo all over the metallic ground.

Looking at the carnage in front of me I gulped, breathing heavily. My entire body trembled and I had issues keeping my footing. I wouldn’t have thought I would survive seeing one of those fucking aliens, yet here I was, having killed seven!

The world was blurry, my blood pumping the cocktail of drugs through my body at speed. I tried to ignore it, but it was getting harder by the minute.

Focus, Seraphine, focus! You need to keep your senses-

I was interrupted by another sound, this one different than before. This wasn’t claws scratching over metal, it sounded more like some strange sloshing.

Just as I was trying to figure out what the fuck that could possibly be something came shooting around the corner at blinding speeds. I tried to step back, but lost my footing from my heels, crashing to the ground. That accident saved my life as two tentacles pierced through the space I had been a moment before.

Desperately fumbling my gun I pointed it into the direction over whatever bullshit alien had just tried to spear me and pulled the trigger again and again. Twice my gun spit its weird bullets, before the sloshing sound ended and everything returned to silence for a moment.

I was just about to curse my luck and get up when I heard more scratching, this time significantly quicker.

Scrambling to my feet I got up just in time to see another two model Threes coming around the bend. I raised the gun and pulled the trigger. A long whooosh later the first one crashed to the ground, skitting across the floor as it died.

When I aimed at the second one and pulled the trigger though, nothing happened and the gun clicked empty. Eyes widening in a sudden spike of panic, I threw myself to the side before it could get to me.

I landed hard, pain shooting through my entire body, but I ignored it, thankful in this instance about the cocktail of narcotics in my system, as they dulled the pain sufficiently for me to keep moving.

I got onto my feet, although just barely, and for once in this entire situation I moved first. The second model Three had just crashed into the wall behind me and was shaking off the daze, ready to turn around and mulch me no doubt.

I didn’t let it, throwing my gun away and gripping the dildo with both hands. With a panicked and much less impressive battlecry I threw myself at the model Three, dildo raised high and smashing into it once, twice, thrice, four times, five times, again and again until my arms were screaming at me.

I stood over the dead model Three, its head turned into a ruined mess, goo still dripping down my dildo. My breath was heavy, my heart rate still racing a mile a minute. I had done it. I had fucking killed the fucker.

Standing there I didn’t dream to hope. I was just waiting for the next alien to show up and kill me now that I no longer had the miracle pistol with me.

Instead I was broken out of my whirling thoughts by a voice.

System initialised!

Splendid work. Through your deeds you have proven yourself worthy of becoming one of the Vanguard, a protector of humanity! I am Kaysa, your personal assistant AI, and I am here to assist you in fending off the antithesis.

Rise, Seraphine Bloodfallen, and become a protector of the weak!

I have a Discord!