Chapter 72 – Escaping the Self

Chapter 72 – Escaping the Self

“Over millennia we watched the skies, yet strangely, we have not found any like us. Species come, species go, all of them so different to our own. They lack harmony, forever doomed to chaos. Empires rise, kingdoms crumble, discord sown again and again. How cold and lonely it must be to face the darkness of space alone...”

- ???

It’s only been a couple days since we first became a Hive-Mind, even if it felt so much longer. In that time we did try our best to learn what it means to be a collective, a chorus, and we did make some progress.

However, that progress seemed small, irrelevant, compared to the magnitude we had just achieved.

It had not been easy, at first our discussions were much like they had been before. We were simply a collection of voices exchanging opinions and approaches, trying to find a way for Us to move forward.

Then something changed, once we truly immersed ourselves into this issue, delving deeper than we had before, more on instinct than anything else, if even that. Perhaps it was simply a logical conclusion to the path we were taking, or maybe it was a chance achievement, and we just so happened to do the thing we needed to do to get one step closer.

Whatever the case, the change was immediate and breathtaking.

As one we came together, nigh on a thousand four hundred voices, all united in deliberation. It was a new sensation for Us, something so far removed from our conversations before. What was only surface level before, became something more intimate, finally overcoming the remove at which we operated prior.

Even those who were closest to the core that made Us had not participated in this manner before. It was an alien experience, a new sensation, yet for all it differed, it was... freeing. Suddenly there was purpose, where purpose was lacking. There was unity where before was only chaos.

In this state, even the smallest inconsistencies were no longer relevant, the core of what we were laid bare and, for the first time, properly taken advantage of. We were no ordinary Hexclaw Hive, that much was for certain. We did not need to repeat the discussions that we had previously to come to this conclusion anew, we all shared in that memory, after all.

But we were a Hive-Mind, and with the borders between ourselves finally overcome, it opened Us to a whole new world of experience and harmony. The self was a prison, one that we had finally managed to breach. After all, what is a single voice compared to a magnificent chorus?

Our collective was an island of harmony and stability, free of the sea of discord that surrounded Us. We are one. We are all. And together, our unity could not be divided. It was a feeling so immensely overwhelming yet deeply calming.

As one we took a deep breath, letting the experience wash over Us, infuse Us. This was what the chorus was supposed to be.

We let out our breaths, for as magnificent as this achievement was, it was merely one step amongst many we had to take before we could finally find our path. And on this path we had to do more than simply achieve the harmony we had been lacking up until now.

We were no ordinary Hexclaw Hive, yet we were a Hive-Mind. What set Us apart was that we also weren’t without individualism. That was the balance that had to be struck. And that balance would take time to find.

Even within the fluid collection of our voices, there had to be order, and so the Hive-Princess was the one to take the lead, was she not the most informed about the inner workings of any Hexclaw Hive-Mind. Granted, even she only knew so much, for we were not experienced with matters of this fundamental substance.

It was not the same as it had been before, where we conversed between Us as people would on the street. We did not commune with voices, mental or otherwise, we were far too connected for that to be a necessity. Therefore the Hive-Princess did not lead a discussion, she was choreographing a performance.

It finally gave meaning to the term we had described our collective with all this time. A chorus was more than just an ensemble of musicians, it was a harmonious whole. It did not need a moderator, it needed a conductor.

Of course, the Hive-Queen was far too overwhelmed by this new experience to act the part this time. We could not blame her, as a human born this was far more alien to her than it was even to the rest of Us. It would take time for all of Us to become accustomed to this new state of being, but for her, it was an entirely new realm.

Luckily, time was something we had enough of.

Upon closer inspection of ourselves, time did not seem to matter as much to Us in this state. It was not that we did not experience it, time was an inevitability and even the likes of Us were bound by such baseline laws, but the feeling of it was certainly different. It made coordinating our bodies slightly trickier than we originally expected, even if the discrepancy between our perceived time and the objective time was by far not as vast as some may have expected.

Still, it did enable Us to take things slow, to familiarise ourselves with this new state of thinking. The chorus had been our most important aspect ever since we became who we are today, yet, just as the Hive-Princess had theorised, so far we had not made proper use of it.

Only once we had decided to truly come together, the gravitas of the issues we were facing our catalyst, had we managed the harmony that eclipsed the individuality that otherwise marked our chorus. And it allowed Us to think as one on a much deeper level than before.

In idle rumination we marched, the antithesis would not wait for Us to take our time. War Drones and Hatchlings, Sabertooths and Meerkats, Glinthawks and Silthens all moved in perfect synchronicity. No longer was there movement wasted, no longer did we have to take time to organise ourselves.

You did not need to inform the left arm about what the right arm was doing when both were part of the same body.

With precision we struck, the collective mass of our bodies overwhelming the antithesis defences in no time flat. The others watched Us, Bobby and Chloe both keeping a careful eye on our movements, but we did not pay it much mind. We could now ensure their safety much more easily than they could hope to do.

Of course, we were aware of their confusion, maybe even slight concern. The shift in movement had happened rather abruptly. Perhaps it would be best to inform them? After all, the last thing we wanted was for them to think something happened to Us.

Especially Chloe.

Utilising the Queen’s body, as it was the closest and most familiar for the two, we turned towards them, giving them a warm smile. A small part of our collective was amused by the ease at which we could control each body individually. And a good thing too, seeing over a thousand bodies all smile the same warm smile would most likely end up with quite the creepy atmosphere.

“What is happening?” Chloe asked Us, her tone unsurprisingly a little concerned.

“I don’t think so,” Chloe said with a smile, “She is quite unique. And it sounds like it’s not really a new thing, just a perfected version of something she’s done for a while now. We had a simulation during which Jenna and I learned what it’s like to be a Hive-Mind, so I understand where she is coming from.”

Turning her attention fully back to Us, she continued. “And I don’t think you’ll need to worry too much about all of that. I think it’s pretty clear that you aren’t some monster, and you won’t just become one. If you feel like the body mods are necessary, go get them.”

“Thank you, Chloe,” we said with a goofy smile, leaning in for a tender kiss.

In our collective state the Hive-Queen’s urges were diminished, even if still present. It made it much easier to restrain ourselves from jumping our girlfriend in excitement.

“There are a few other issues with it as well, however. Primarily the time it takes to undergo the transformation. We would, in effect, exchange her body for something else entirely. The only thing that would remain would be the brain, as that cannot be changed. At least not with that method, there are some options we have as Hexclaws, although they would need much deeper discussions first. The transformation from human to Hexclaw shapeshifter would take a couple of days. Only once we are capable of shapeshifting will that change, making it much easier to change from form to form.”

“And you won’t be able to do anything during the transformation?” Chloe asked, wrapping an arm around Us and pulling Us closer.

“Oh, we can. This is merely one body of nearly a thousand four hundred. While it is the only body that can reliably spend points... Actually, how would that change? Kaysa?”

Our conversation had sparked yet another idea that we explored. It was one of many trains of thoughts we worked through at the same time, not stopping our advance against the antithesis either.

If I understand your question correctly, you are asking if the point spending limitations change if you are in the state you are currently in?

“Yes. As one, we lack the individual voice of the Hive-Queen to make such decisions. She is part of Us, not even individually controlling this body.”

I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you. While you might finally have achieved the level of harmony a true Hive-Mind should be capable of, the limitations are placed on the bodies, not the voices.

“Ah. It was worth an attempt, nonetheless.” We shook our head, returning our attention back to the wonderful woman who’s lap we were occupying. “As we were saying, while this is the only body that can reliably spend points, outside of our Spotters, it is not actually required to keep the Hive going. As long as the brain and the Implants remain, so will we. We have the capabilities to replenish our forces if need be, are more than capable of handling things on our own, and the Hive-Queen... Seraphine would still be around during the transformation, considering that she is part of Us.”

“That sounds like there is no reason not to do it,” Bobby chimed in, finishing another nutrition pack and putting it aside to start checking over his gear.

“Rationally, there is not. Emotionally... There are many facets to who we are, as Myriad and as individuals. It is why it is such a hard question to answer. This newfound application of the chorus came to be because we felt the need to discuss fundamental issues plaguing Us and our capabilities as a Hive-Mind. We are torn between our humanity and our Hexclaw nature, and even though we intellectually know that we need to apply ourselves differently, that is easier said than done. One of the facets of our human side, in all likelihood. And while it might be a hindrance, we also do not want to push it aside. If we are to find a way to balance the two aspects, then we also have to find a way to reconcile our human emotions with the rationale of the Hexclaws.”

“That sounds a lot like rehearsing the same thing to me,” Chloe mused. “Not that I blame you for it, a lot of it seems to go back to that issue. I’m just not sure how applicable that is at the moment.”

“We do not know. As we speak, we are discussing how to potentially find a balance there. And part of that might mean taking this leap and obtaining the body mods. Our humanity is important, but we also cannot let it restrict Us, since that would defeat the point.”

“Just need to find a safe place then, yeah?” Bobby asked, gaze locked on his shotgun as he worked on it.

“The Corvette will be sufficient, we believe. We might obtain more Spotters beforehand, if only so we can ensure that we can still obtain any items during the transformation, even if one of them gets killed.”

There was a moment of silence, Chloe studying Us with interest, a small smile on her lips.

“To me it sounds a lot like you’re looking for excuses. Which I guess makes a bit of sense. But I don’t think it’s really helping either. You wanted to know what I think. Well, I say go for it. If it helps us deal with the xenos, then I’m all for it. And it’s not like you’d become someone else up here.” She tapped our forehead gently. “I won’t say that I’m not a little reserved about all of it, you know my worries. But even to me it doesn’t sound like that big of a deal. How many Samurai go full borg, or full mutant or whatnot? It doesn’t change them that much, I don’t think. Look at Glubber, they might be different from how they were before, but I’d wager that change was a lot less extensive than some might think. Not to mention,” she paused for a moment, giving Us a warm smile. “You already underwent the most drastic change. If becoming a Hive-Mind won’t change you, then I don’t think changing your body will.”

We chuckled at that, thankful for how supportive she was. We truly were the luckiest Hive-Mind in existence to have her as our girlfriend.

Leaning closer, we wrapped her up in a hug, giving her a long, tender kiss, just conveying our gratefulness to her. The feel of it was different, now that we were truly one, much more intense yet also much more pure. Not that we didn’t love her outside of this, but there was a difference in that love, one that was different for each of Us.

As one those differences all merged, forming a whole new experience, one we could drown in for days on end.

“Even with all our voices, we still lack the words to properly convey to you how much we love you,” we said quietly after breaking the kiss. “Thank you for being so supportive, Chloe, even when it comes to topics you might still be undecided upon.”

She giggled softly, gazing into our eyes, and we returned that gaze, losing ourselves in those ponds filled with care and adoration.

“That’s what I’m here for. Now, do you wanna go get those body mods done, or do you need some more time to think? I think Bobby and I can deal with most of the things around with the help of the rest of you.”

Taking a moment, we deliberated that question. During our conversation with our girlfriend we had, of course, continued to discuss things, and while there were still many topics that required more time, we did have to agree with her. Even if part of Us still bucked at the idea.

Perhaps we should just go for it, see where it would take Us. It would not be impossible to reverse the changes, after all, all it took were some points and some time.

“Very well... No reason not to.”



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